Perhaps as many of you are pointing out, it really depends on the area and even the industry. I’m mostly exposed to medicine and tech in the SF bay area, and these sectors are popular enough that one sees people from all over. Mostly from good schools, but very much not exclusive to HYP(SM/etc). One generally tends to see capability rise to the top, not the degree, so perhaps there is less envy/jealousy/teasing. (but yes, in the academic arenas for these fields, more weight seems to be there for top programs),
Having said all this, there is no lack of “ivy targeting” around. I’m guessing a large portion of the families here either have or would like to have applied HYPSM. (we have enough people whose experience leads them to believe that getting into schools the calibre of IIT or Nat Taiwan should guarantee them a good life) Most of the time, one can look around and identify who’s in the running, and yes it can be a big thing during that portion of their lives. But getting admitted doesn’t automatically transport these students into the ranks of the academic aristocracy, and all families agree that nothing guarantees success in life. (There are HYPSM burnouts too).
But the litmus test is happiness/success/accomplishment X years down the line. Going back to my personal experience at that reunion, I did happen to run into or hear about all the top 1-20 of our class plus some from outside that range. We sent around 6 to ivy and 3 to stanford out of a class of over 400 at a middle class HS. Not all of those were top 10 (perhaps 1 was outside top 20). I think that group yielded a couple of execs, a prof, 1 in private equity, and a couple involved in tech development. Non-HYPSM in the top 20-30 included a prof, 4 docs, several in tech, 2-3 lawyers, 1 in private equity, 3 jr execs in financial firms and a ceo of a small manufacturing company. There are fancy zip codes on both sides of the HYPSM boundary.
Again, everyone was doing well. The takeaway was that life can be somewhat whimsical. This is the message that should be offered to those that are HYP obsessed.