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<p>I think tailgating is considered rude behavior everywhere, and it’s actually illegal in many (if not all) U.S. jurisdictions. A lot of people think it’s funny but it can get you or someone else killed especially when the person you’re tailgating is an inexperienced driver or some sort of unexpected hazard pops up ahead of him in the road.</p>
<p>Tail gating the party, not tailgaiting the bad driving, Gardna. Musicamusica is talking about the picnics people have before ball games.</p>
<p>That’s cute…ok:</p>
<p>1- “Tailgating”: is the practice of driving on a road too closely behind another vehicle, such as less than the travel distance in two seconds or, equivalently…We agree illegal and “rude”</p>
<p>2- “Tailgate parties”: People attending sport games like this concept…: In the United States, a tailgate party is a social event held on and around the open tailgate of a vehicle. Tailgating often involves consuming beverages and grilling food. Tailgate parties usually occur in the parking lots at stadiums and arenas before, and occasionally after or during, sporting events and rock concerts. People attending such a party are said to be tailgating. Many people participate even if their vehicles do not have tailgates. Tailgate parties have become popular in the United States as social gatherings events that take place in stadium parking lots before football games. The use of the tailgate party has spread to the pre-game festivities at sporting events of all kinds (e.g. football, basketball and baseball) and is also used at non-sporting events such as weddings and other non-sports-related barbecue gatherings.</p>
<p>Oh, okay, my mistake! :D</p>
<p>From the OP -
I was raised where a man open building doors to a lady. A man opened the car’s door.
He pulled the chair in a restaurant for the lady to seat.
When a man did not start eating until the lady sat down.
Where no curse or bad words were pronounced in front of a lady.</p>
<p>If any of this happened you got the message…</p>
<p>How many of you like all these good manners?</p>
<p>I have never aspired to be a “lady”, and I think all those things above (with the exception of language) are stupid. The idea of sitting in a car waiting for a man to run around and open my door is beyond absurd! And ANYONE smoking is vulgar. Opening a door for another person who is holding things, or entering a store behind you is common courtesy; opening a door because someone is a “lady” is silly.</p>
<p>And for oldfort, if I met a man I wanted to date, I would ask him out, not wait around for him to ask me!</p>
<p>I am so glad to see the old norms with regard to dating fall by the wayside. At least I hope they are. There is no reason for a girl not to ask out a boy, pick the boy up in her car and pay for the dinner - or at least split the tab. I think getting away from the boy taking care of all these things makes the relationship more equal and lessens expectations that something is owed to the boy by the girl. I liked it when my D met boys for dates - I trusted her driving more than any high school boy and felt better knowing she had more control.</p>
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<p>That one caught my eye. That behavior is so universally practiced around here, I think my boys would be incapable of either entering or leaving an elevator before all of the females in the vicinity were either in or off first. I have noticed it is not necessarily common in other places, such as on a cruise ship, and have seen them use the stairs as a result since they may not be able to otherwise get on the elevator.</p>
<p>It’s very widely practiced in New York City, too. At least in office buildings. But not at places like, say, the Port Authority bus terminal, where people are trying to catch buses and it’s every man, woman, and child for him or herself when it comes to getting on and off the elevator.</p>
<p>There’s definitely no “ladies first” practice in getting on city buses, either. It’s whoever happens to be standing closest to the bus door when it stops.</p>
<p>Dating is a dance, when one goes forward the other goes back. My husband still gets mad when I try to lead when we are dancing.</p>
<p>A nice young man was interested in D1 few months ago. He was texting her constantly. Both of them were interviewing for similar jobs. She got four offers and he got none. He stopped calling. I wonder if that would have been the case if the situation was reversed.</p>
<p>How many men enjoy the chase, and how many enjoy being chased? What about women?</p>
<p>Regarding elevators, I am amazed how many people don’t understand the basic courtesy of allowing people off the elevator before getting on.</p>
<p>I also hold doors open for anyone who needs it, but I do really like it when a man holds a door open for me. Of course, I’m competent to do it myself, but it makes me feel good. Here is what irks me – when a man gets into the car first without checking his AUTOMATIC key unlocker (not asking you to actually take a few steps to come around the car) to make sure the door on his wife’s side is unlocked so that she is not left standing outside knocking on the door. Maybe I need to switch to the “say it here” thread.</p>
<p>I feel really annoyed when men race ahead to get the seat on the subway, then sit down without a trace of embarrassment while a bunch of women, some older, stand around him. On the other hand, I don’t like being treated like a weaker sex, but I do appreciate certain gestures if they don’t make a big patronizing deal out of it. My H always carries packages, and my kids learned that from him. My D at two would insist on carrying groceries for me! And speaking of bad manners, I think it’s bad when kids toss their coats & backpacks at their mother at pick up time. It shows no respect to her to treat her like a beast of burden. And the mother should not allow that either. (So is that bad manners on her part to not insist on being treated with respect?)</p>
<p>I believe manners have to do with thinking about the other person or just plain others, first. Chewing gum, for instance. It may turn off the person you are talking to. Manners have to do with modifying your behaviors to fit the expectations of someone else. It is common courtesy. I would no more dress or keep some of my behaviors that I may use when in Honolulu, when in Cairo. I call it “wearing the robe of the country” you happen to be in at the time. And that includes church socials in Minnesota. Tailgating parties are different than weddings, I believe. Manners are good for you because you must think of someone else, their feelings and how they perceive the world. In that, you learn so much about this marvellous planet we all inhabit and the diversity of its tribes.</p>
<p>I guess I’m young and don’t remember the “good manners”. </p>
<p>I leave my house in sweats all the time. I don’t get dressed up like a good and proper “lady”. Heck, the only time I even wear jeans is when I go to work (teacher’s aid) or when I go to my two other jobs I have to wear black semi-dress pants. Outside of that, I wear pajamas and/or sweats. Seriously, why do I have to get dressed up to go to class or go out somewhere? Doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me.</p>
<p>I drink beer out of a beer bottle. You don’t EVER drink it out of a cup. Sorry but are you dumb? (Unless you’re in your own house- but out in public? NEVER.) [PS- rhetorical question. OP, I don’t think you’re dumb :)]</p>
<p>My fiance will open the door for me and I for him, it’s just whoever happens to be in front. He doesn’t pull out the chair for me. It’s annoying IMO because I’m a klutz and have missed the seat once or twice before when someone has pulled it out for me. </p>
<p>He doesn’t pay for the bills when we go out- we split it. Whoever happens to have more money at the time will pay- it evens out. </p>
<p>I curse. Sorry. So does my fiance. </p>
<p>I find cigarettes disgusting, but just because they’re disgusting.</p>
<p>Elevators? Whoever is in the front gets out first. Seems logical, no? </p>
<p>That all being said- I DO know when I have to have manners. I don’t chew gum unless I am in my car or walking somewhere. I don’t chew with my mouth open and I keep my elbows off the table (thanks ma!). I address people by “sir” and “ma’am” when they are older or have more seniority than myself. </p>
<p>I have risen through the ranks to become a president of a youth basketball league in my home city. Not only was I the first female coach in this league (and then obviously the first female president) but I was younger than the previous youngest president by about 3 decades. I must be doing something right or else I wouldn’t get that same kind of respect from the males who voted me into that position. That being said, I have also had to adapt to a “man’s world” of sports, which is probably why I am not lady-like in the least. </p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>To me the worst cursing of all is when I hear a mother curse at her child. I think it’s just as bad as hitting them. To speak like that to someone you love so much - I just can’t imagine it. </p>
<p>A friend’s dad used to ask “You eat with that same mouth?”.</p>
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<p>Yes, me too. But more so that they race to beat out older women (and older men, for that matter), and women carrying packages, and pregnant women, than women in general. The worst part is the way people like that stare off into space and pretend they don’t see all the dirty looks they’re getting.</p>
<p>I’m also annoyed when people plop a tiny child down in the seat next to them in a crowded bus or subway car, instead of holding the child in their laps, and thereby deprive a paying customer of a seat.</p>
<p>I was 6 months pregnant riding a NYC bus from downtown to uptown. All of those business men would read their papers and to pretend they didn’t see me standing. One time, a bus driver actually stopped the bus to ask one of those guys to give his seat.</p>
<p>No beer or smoking in the street for a lady…</p>
<p>Further…if I’m walking with my husband he needs to be on the street side… If a woman is walking with a male he supposes to walk closer to the street. The reason for this is that the man needs to care and protect the lady…
When I was young all boys knew this rule…friend walking from school walked on the street side, girls in the inside</p>
<p>^ Huh, I’m glad that my fiance doesn’t do that lol. I’m deaf in my left ear. So we’d either always have to be on the left side of the road or have some bad conversations <em>shrugs</em>.</p>
<p>Greenery, the “rule” about men walking on the street side of the sidewalk dates back to before the invention of the automobile, when (as my grandmother, who was born in 1888, explained to me) the idea was for the gentleman to protect the lady from having mud splashed on her long dress by a horse and carriage going by.</p>
<p>In this day and age, frankly, danger is far more likely to come from the inner, not the outer, part of a sidewalk. Especially at night. (Except if a car jumps the curb and plows into you, in which case it won’t matter who’s standing where.)</p>
<p>So I think your rule actually has the potential to hurt the more vulnerable individual. Who, of course, isn’t always a woman.</p>
<p>Some of your rules haven’t been in place since long before any of us were born. And many of the rest, if you actually think about them and what they signify, shouldn’t be.</p>