<p>This article about how a man won the heart of Miley brought old memories. </p>
<p>I was raised where a man open building doors to a lady. A man opened the car’s door.
He pulled the chair in a restaurant for the lady to seat.<br>
When a man did not start eating until the lady sat down.<br>
Where no curse or bad words were pronounced in front of a lady.</p>
<p>If any of this happened you got the message…</p>
<p>How many of you like all these good manners?</p>
<p>I still do…the only problem I have is that it is very difficult to accept others that curse or speak using foul language. I cringe and show my discomfort when I heard badly words…and then any possible friendship is affected and eliminated the person from my list of few but good friends.
I cannot avoid it…my father will have put red pepper in my mouth if I would have curse or use foul language. Literally “Hot pepper”…that what he used to say.</p>
<p>Also woman smoking or worse smoking in the street was viewed as vulgar…much less with a beer in a public place. When I go to “tailgates” I’m amazed of how many young ladies have a bottle in hand…the first thing come to my mind is why you didn’t serve the beer in a cup…just the first thought I always have.</p>
<p>First of all, I really dislike Miley. I won’t even look at her pictures. I think she is not a good example for kids, and that includes her dad. So I personally won’t use her as the bench mark for good manners.</p>
<p>I do curse when I get really mad, and it happens at work from time to time. I have no problem in chewing someone out, so I guess it’s not very lady like.</p>
<p>I would only drink wine out of glass, not plastic. I would drink beer straight out of a bottle on a hot day.</p>
<p>I rarely ever leave the house without being dressed, no sweat pants or t-shirt or sneakers. My H is a gentleman around me and our girls. When we are out socially, we behave like ladies. We are rather formal at home - sit down meals with table set.</p>
<p>I don’t judge people if they curse, but I do judge if people are mean spirited.</p>
<p>I miss good manners of young people shaking hands and acknowledge people when meeting, looking at you in the eyes when speaking, and not mumble under their breath. I don’t like young man smoking as much as I don’t like young woman smoking.</p>
<p>One of the things the kids learn at orientation is to NOTdrink anything out of a cup you didn’t pour. Drinks served in glasses may have been tampered with. Unfortunately, these ladies can no longer count on gentlemen serving them. That is why you see ladies with beer in bottles.</p>
<p>Anyone else misses good manners. What other good manners you miss?</p>
<p>oldfort: The few times I drink I like my glass too…however in tailgates I can understand people not carrying glasses. Even though I have seen quite fancy tailgates in Virginia: tables with beautiful tablecloths, flowers for a table, fancy plates…beautiful settings!</p>
<p>Anyone else misses good manners. What other good manners you miss?</p>
<p>I love Liam so much. <3 Miley doesn’t deserve him, I do. That’s why I want to go to school in the South, I feel like boys will be kinder and have better manners than boys in the North.</p>
<p>Seems like there are people who need to see a few episodes of “Leave it to Beaver.” Good manners are great but their existence does not guarantee kindness or make someone a good person. There are serial killers who relied on good manners for their successes. Having great manners is icing on the cake, but it is not the cake. People can learn manners. It is much more difficult to learn to be kind. </p>
<p>Greenery, you are likely missing out on getting to know some really interesting, nice, caring people if you rule them out based on some of the things you mention. Some of the things you see as traditional manners have also been used to “keep women in their place.”</p>
<p>yankeesgirl, my son is from the north, and he does have very good manners.</p>
<p>I happen to appreciate good manners. </p>
<p>Here are the bad mannered things that I can’t stand:
I really cannot stand when people speak with their mouth full of food, or chew with their mouths open. </p>
<p>People touching food with their hands, whether it is from a bread basket on the kitchen table, or a salad bar. Wose yet, when they touch some food with their hands and then put it back! Yuck! This is a health issue.</p>
<p>I much prefer when someone holds their fork and knife properly, but I don’t say anything when they don’t.</p>
<p>I appreciate good manners too. Growing up in the south, if you did not address your elders as “ma’m or sir”, it was considered disrespectful and reflected poorly on your parents. I know that’s not the norm everywhere but just an example of manners learned and expected to be implemented. </p>
<p>I don’t think parents teach/expect good manners as much as they used to. I teach preschool and regularly have four year olds roll their eyes at me and say “whatev…er”. I would be furious if my child spoke to an adult that way but these parents seem to think it’s cute. </p>
<p>The one that truly gets on my nerves (and DH’s) is the now commonly used …“sxcks”.
Kids and a couple of adults I know use it frequently in everyday conversation and apparantly see nothing wrong with it…ugh.</p>
<p>I hate it when a guy goes out of his way to hold a door open for me when I’m not carrying something or otherwise burdened. I think it’s rude and condescending, like I’m somehow a pathetic weakling incapable of acting like an adult. </p>
<p>I always hold a door for someone, male or female, who looks like they need help: a dad carrying a baby and a diaper bag, a mom pushing a stroller, an elderly or infirm person who appears to have difficulty walking, a cyclist wheeling a bike. But normal healthy people can open their own doors.</p>
<p>Oh Cardinal…I’m the opposite… I expect and love when a gentleman open the door for me always. However again, that how I was raised…so my grandfather removed his hat when he saw a lady and my Dad opened the doors when he saw elderly or young ladies…so I expect the same gentleness. </p>
<p>For me it shows good manners…and I admire this behavior.
The same feeling of admiration when a Man leaves his seat for the Lady or stand up when a lady enters a room.</p>
<p>I haven’t opened a car door for my wife since she was pregnant but I do hold doors open for anyone and everyone. I’m one of those guys who, on a college tour, will hold the door for the whole group. When you do that it is very easy to make snap judgments about the people in your group. More will walk through silently as if I am their doorman than will thank me. Not a generational thing, though. Some kids today are very well-mannered.</p>
<p>I shudder when I see a bride walking around the reception with a beer bottle in her hand. Of course, a wine glass in one hand and a wine bottle in the other isn’t too great either.</p>
<p>This. Thank you. I hold doors for all sorts of people when the circumstances indicate. When guys hold doors for me, or let me out of the elevator first, I certainly don’t bite their heads off, but it’s not something I care about. To me, there are a lot more important indications of public good manners – like giving your seat up in a bus to an older person, or a woman who’s pregnant, or someone carrying a lot of packages. (You’d be surprised how many people don’t do that.) Or like helping someone carry a stroller up the subway steps. </p>
<p>I’m glad the days are (mostly) gone when there were women who would stand in front of their apartment building and refuse to open the front door for themselves, no matter how long they had to wait for the doorman to show up. (I used to see that now and then in the building where I grew up. Pathetic.)</p>
<p>Sherpa, in my experience, most people do say thank you when you hold doors for them.</p>
<p>Manners are open to a broad interpretation. Manners tend to be regional. For example, I have a British mother who thinks the idea of “tail gating” itself to be ill mannered. That I why I believe in civility. Some one who opens any door for me is being civil. But unless I am burdened in some way, I never expect it.</p>
<p>Though after being raised by a Brit, I am painfully self conscious about whether or not I’m being rude.</p>
<p>I forgot to post my original question.
Who are Miley and Hensworth?</p>
<p>I know it’s old fashion, but I tell my girls not to make it too easy for a guy to date them. In the beginning, he should ask them out properly, pick them up, take them home, and pay for it. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it’s the thought and effort that matter. So far, it’s worked pretty well. It usually puts off any guy who is not sincere.</p>
<p>musicamusica: Miley Ray Cyrus (born 1992) is an American pop singer, songwriter and television and film actress who rose to fame after starring as the title character in the Disney Channel series Hannah Montana. Following the success of Hannah Montana, a soundtrack CD was released in October 2006 featuring Cyrus on eight songs from the show. In 2008, Cyrus was listed in Time magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in The World. Wiki</p>
<p>“Liam Hemsworth (born 1990) is an Australian actor best known for his roles as Josh Taylor in the soap opera Neighbours and as “Marcus” on the children’s television series The Elephant Princess. He will next appear in the upcoming American film The Last Song, to be released on March 31, 2010.” wiki</p>
<p>I find some " mannerly" behavior of " some males" toward females to be not " polite" but condescending, and even obsequious.
Eddie Haskellish.</p>
<p>Holding the door for someone, of whatever age, whatever sex, is courtesy, although I admit I can have a hard time gauging between how long is polite to stand there until they make it through, when they are quite a few steps behind you.</p>
<p>Both my D’s have friends that were raised in more formal households, they find it difficult to address me other than * Mrs*, frankly that makes me uncomfortable & I feel it is more polite to address someone the way they wish to be called- I don’t comment upon it though.</p>
<p>However, I can’t bring myself to call someone " Dr.", even when that is how they describe themselves unless they are actually a medical Dr. ( and Drs that I know socially, never refer to themselves as Dr), so I suppose that i am rude.
:rolleyes:</p>
<p>Manners are regional of course, and can even differ within communities. We all come to have our expectations.
I think it’s important to teach basic courtesy, although everyone is bound to make mistakes from time to time, and also I try not to judge others by whether what they consider rude is what I consider rude. But when someone is especially gracious or polite, I definitely notice and remember.</p>
<pre><code>I often walk my Lab on the horse trails in my community. The local high school x-country runners from the larger area often come here to run, as the trails are soft and there are miles and miles of lovely trails. When we come upon these kids, my dog and I move to the side out of their way. The kids are usually breathless and concentrating on their running and pay no attention to us. What is remarkable, though, is that a group of kids from one particular school always says “Hello!” or “Good morning” when they pass us. If some of them are running behind, the trailing group will also greet us. I’ve always wondered if the kids from that school are just very friendly or if the coach perhaps taught them “trail etiquette.” It’s nice, really, and I think highly of the school because of these encounters.
</code></pre>
<p>My husband still opens car doors for me and asks if I need anything carried in from the car when I arrive home from shopping. He also thanks me after I fix a dinner for him- even after 38 years. I am a stickler for writing thank-you notes and making sure my kids do the same. I always make sure my kids greet anyone coming to our home and put down what they are doing and say good-bye properly when someone leaves. I’m sure I can think of more of this type of thing I’ve come to expect as “good manners”, but yes, these small courtesies do make life more pleasant.</p>
That’s why I want to go to school in the South, I feel like boys will be kinder and have better manners than boys in the North.</p>