<p>I’d really appreciate some guidance on this one. I’ve had a friend for the past 35 years whom DH and I named as executor of our estates until our eldest reaches a certain age. She is highly intelligent and accomplished with multiple advanced degrees in fields that make her an ideal candidate for the task. Or so we thought. </p>
<p>While having my morning coffee a few days ago, I nearly choked when I read that her husband has been charged by our state D.A. for illegal business practices. He operates the small business that she inherited upon her parents’ passing while she continues to practice her profession.</p>
<p>So, DH and I are asking ourselves zillions of questions about whether and what she knew about her husband’s activities, particularly since the state’s case against him claims that this activity began years earlier under her father’s watch. Obviously, we won’t know until this case is prosecuted whether her husband will be convicted, whether she will be implicated, or whether either of them will serve a jail sentence.</p>
<p>My questions to you: Would you preemptively remove her as your estate executor before learning the outcome of this trial? Would you attempt to remain friends? If so, how much support would you lend? How would you handle this?</p>
<p>It would likely provide you with more peace of mind to have someone named as executor whom you & your spouse could implicitly trust. At this point, it doesn’t sound like you do, so do yourself & your H a favor & quietly substitute someone you DO trust. You don’t have to notify your friend that you’ve taken her off as executor as it won’t matter until you die anyway. If it comes up (tho don’t know why it should), you can say you thought they had so much on their plate with the stress of litigation and press to deal with you thought it would be a kindness not to impose on their generosity with one more task.</p>
<p>you can certainly change your executor but as far as your other questions you said you have been friends for thirty five years. Have you called her? Have you asked her whether she knew? I have a few friends I have had for that long and I would certainly talk to them face to face before drawing too many conclusions.</p>
<p>I’d call to offer support for your friend–she needs it regardless of what actions/inactions she and her H have taken or not taken. For your 35 years of friendship, that is something you would sleep better offering. If you live nearby, offer to take her out for lunch or have her over or something. People need support when they are being mobbed by the press so publicly. It is very lonely in the limelight.</p>
<p>I did reach out to her when I first heard the news. She replied that she appreciates my support but can’t discuss this and will give me a call soon. Until then, you all seem to agree with my gut that I should go ahead and revise my will. Thanks, everyone.</p>
If you live nearby, offer to take her out for lunch or have her over or something. People need support when they are being mobbed by the press so publicly. It is very lonely in the limelight.</p>