<p>NY Times article this weekend. Nothing we haven’t read before but it does highlight different scenarios. Some students really have a great deal of debt.
<a href=“http://mobile.nytimes.com/slideshow/100000002937057/2014/06/22/magazine/its-official-the-boomerang-kids-wont-leave.html?_r=0”>http://mobile.nytimes.com/slideshow/100000002937057/2014/06/22/magazine/its-official-the-boomerang-kids-wont-leave.html?_r=0</a>
My son lives home but has saved quite a bit the last year working. Loans have a small dent, down a few thousand from the 23,000 he started with. He went into Psychology and got his masters last year. Two temp full time jobs hopefully gave him experience to get a full time permanent one this Fall. Interviews are starting next week. I don’t mind, he helps out a lot, doesn’t spend most of his pay in a frivolous way and has a long term plan for saving. I would feel differently if he was aimless and not trying. </p>
<p>Anecdotally I’m seeing a lot of recent grads move home. These are not drifting losers either. They did fine right up until college graduation but just could not get full-time work right off the bat. It’s really hard for many young adults these days to gain traction in adult life. These kids have to display a lot more fortitude and good attitude than we did; they have a tough row to hoe in comparison. I graduated in the late 80s and it was comparatively easy to get work, whatever your degree and even if you didn’t have a GPA of 3.6 or higher from an elite school.</p>
<p>The comments section in articles like this one will be full of the usual “you should have majored in STEM” or “you should have gone to a better school.” But that’s no protection except for a handful of specific applied fields. A lot of it is just whistling past the graveyard and hoping that misfortune won’t strike you and yours. Keeping debt as low as possible is more important than ever.</p>
<p>I used to be one of those who just assumed that after college, kids move out. I no longer make that assumption. I do not ask parents and graduates what they are doing after college because it’s a sore subject for many. I just say, “congratulations on your graduation.” If people want to say more, they will.</p>
<p>I simply do not believe that the actual unemployment rate is only 6.3%. </p>
<p>In my area, it’s quite common as the rents are very high as is COL in general and high paying jobs scarce. It’s an irony that so many kids I see are willing to borrow themselves into such a condition to go away to college, not live at home, and then 4 years later have to come back home to live to pay off the loans they took so they would not have to live at home during college.</p>
<p>Ds1 is coming home. He’s working an AmeriCorps job back here so he did find a job, albeit a low-paying one with loan forgiveness. He doesn’t have much in the way of loans – the amount offered by AmeriCorps will pay them off – but our town has really high rents so it makes sense to live here and pay the minimal amount we are charging. It’s fine with me if he moves out to his own place. I mean, I’d prefer that, but being able to live here relatively cheaply just makes sense. He will not like coming back to our rules, but, oh, well.</p>
<p>Yes, that is ironic, many do take on loans to be “away” from any school close to home. I don’t think “after college” is real to many students, everything is getting in and what they will do there.
I work with many professionals, many doctors, who all have children home or supplementing rent somewhere else. One doctor has a daughter who graduated from an Ivy, she will be making 35,000 and living in NYC with 4 roommates and her parents (and theirs) help with utilities, furniture etc. She could live with a relative for free but wanted to be “on her own” In some ways though it’s an illusion. He was just happy though she found a job. Many of her peers hadn’t had a great deal of luck.
I don’t find anyone thinks it’s odd anymore to have students back home and I feel in the article the therapist who used her parents house to start her own practice was being practical and resourceful. We all do what we can to get things done, I’m glad many students are optimistic, you have to keep trying. </p>
<p>For those who have kids moving home, do have them pay rent so that they get used to allocating that amount of their income for payment. Stash the money to present to them when the time comes they want to buy a house or make some other move that requires funds. It’s a great way to save money. My friend who let her kids live in the family home, found that they got dependent on doing that. They spent whatever they earned to the max and it was clear they’d never be able to move out the way they were doing that. They were so resentful when she made them start paying, increasing every 4 months, but that was how she eased her oldest out. It didn’t take long to get a nice nest egg saved up from the rent she made her pay, and it’s going to be the most welcome wedding gift for her (she doesn’t know) when she gets married. She did move out finally last year, and it’s been a rough go staying on a budget for her. </p>
<p>I don’t think the 2 time periods–college 18-22 vs after college–are really comparable. I think that when it’s affordable and do-able, it’s a good thing for kids to move away for at least a few years of college. It helps them grow up. But moving home after college, presumably as responsible adults, can be a very practical solution to a tough economic landscape.</p>
<p>Wondering how difficult it is for a 23 year old to move home again after being on their own for 4 years. I would assume most parents have some rules and that has to be tough on a young adult. While I see the necessity of this arrangement in this precarious economy, I do not think it is the ideal situation. Not for the child or the parent. </p>
<p>We are looking forward to our adult D coming home. She has a concrete plan to finish up a few pre-med reqs and will be working. No rent will be charged, but she will take care of her non-necessities, and any travel/extras. I’m just glad that the estrogen/ testosterone balance will be restored! Tired of being the only female. </p>
<p>Opposite for us. We parents both used our brains to become well educated and well off financially. Unlike us son did not need money for school. So he got a job after college and makes a ton of money (comp sci field). We moved from our home state-1300 miles from him, the next year he moved about 3100 miles away (less by plane I guess). About as far away as we can be in the lower 48. Always was independent. Even being home some summers in college was difficult. Don’t think we could survive together. I can’t call it luck because he worked hard and happens to like a field in demand.</p>
<p>Our DS moved home for a year after he graduated to save money even though he had a decent job in his field of study. We live in a very high cost of living region and he wanted to save a nest egg before moving out, even with no student debt. It was a delightful year. Little conflict, and we got to know him as an adult. We miss him now that he’s gone.</p>
<p>I think relationships vary so much, we are all different, no real right or wrong. I loved being home with my children when they were young, worked part time for a few years although it was hard, and now, I still like being around them. We didn’t have the “What were you thinking?” moments too often which helped. ; )</p>
<p>My Mom did as a post suggested, held our “rent” when I lived home for 2 years before I got an apartment. She saved most of it for us, less with each child, but that was her finances at the time. It helped later with weddings, car, security deposits etc. In her own way, she was trying to prepare us to budget. I don’t do that exactly, but when my son started to work full time, although less as a temp worker, I had him pay his car bills, taxes, insurance, dry cleaning, and he bought some food on occasion, but I let him save the rest because I knew he was the type that would.</p>
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<p>My Mom did as a post suggested, held our “rent” when I lived home for 2 years before I got an apartment. She saved most of it for us, less with each child, but that was her finances at the time. It helped later with weddings, car, security deposits etc. In her own way, she was trying to prepare us to budget.
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<p>My parents did this as well. served two purposes…gave us a bonus when we moved out and got us used to not thinking that our paychecks were purely for spending.</p>
<p>I think having a full time job while living at home for a year is different than coming home with no job and no definitive plan. Fine with me if my child wants to save some $ and is gainfully employed. I just would not want to be put in the position of trying to motivate a 20 something year old to do a resume or get out of bed in the morning. I have a few friends in this position and it is not a good dynamic. Parents are not happy. </p>
<p>I got a sick feeling when I looked at the large debt some of these kids…especially when you look at their majors. I realize that 18yo’s often cant grasp the debt (and they are sooo excited about going away to school that they cant see past THAT). It is sad that their adult co-signers didnt do their job, explain the dangers, and then say NO.</p>
<p>the story from the girl who said her ex-BF said he would never marry her because of her debt is sad. She may find herself hiding this info, which also isnt good.</p>
<p>I know that some parents here are offended at the concept that a major should be chosen with the idea that a job can later be secured…but unless your child has a fat trust fund, that attitude is dangerous. not saying that art history needs to disappear…schools should make it easier to do double majors/minors/etc…so those other classes can be taken to make folks more well-rounded.</p>
<p>Neither of my S’s had loans. S1 never came home after college graduation. He makes a good salary and has always had a roommate to share expenses. S1 bought a house two years after graduation.</p>
<p>S2 lived with us for a year after graduation. He got a good job just a few months after grad. He paid all his expenses but we didn’t ask him to pay rent. He needed to save up some money and more importantly he needed a roommate since his job involves a lot of travel and someone needed to be at the house on an every day basis.
He now has two roommates sharing expenses in a 3 bedroom house. It has worked out well for both. </p>
<p>Neither of mine came home. I always joked that I was just enough of a nag that they wouldn’t want to come home after college and would work hard to be independent and self sufficient. Worked! ;)</p>
<p>The article says:
So only 20% live at home? How is that the new norm? Seems like a small percent to me. The bigger issue is the increased parental financial support. Bigger concern is the student debt and underemployment, IMO.</p>
<p>My oldest never came home and she’s out in the world working, in a town far enough away I have to get on an airplane to see here. Youngest is working in NYC for the summer, where we do not live. I don’t have the come back home type of kids, though I seriously wish I did! I’m a little jealous of my friends whose kids moved back home after school, to be honest. </p>
<p>But my kids have/will graduate without debt. We pay for college. The debt thing is a huge issue. It’s taking money out of the economy up front and going to effect us all long term. Fewer consumers in such a consumer driven economy isn’t going to be good for any of us.</p>
<p>My kids are also on the opposite coast. I absolutely loved it when one son lived in the area for about 18 mos. Cold see him every few weeks, but he had his own life. Younger s, until recently, live a (multi hour but doable) car drive away. Loved to be able to visit him. But this is their lives, and their opportunities. Totally get the feeling of wishing they were in the same city. We have never has family in the same city, which has been tough. Wish they were closer for sure, but not in the basement.</p>
<p>Well…it is her parents’ choice to let her live rent free. </p>