<p>No one says these kids are going to be living at home indefinitely. I don’t see a problem with a child moving back to save on rent while working (or looking for work) and getting a leg up on paying off college loans. My bigger question is who cosigned on $50,000-80,000 worth of undergraduate loans for a working-class kid? </p>
<p>“Who is to say that this kid from U of Mich wouldn’t have done the same on mom & dad’s dime in an apartment in NYC? In fact, he probably wouldn’t have job hunted AT ALL if mom & dad paid rent. Get a roommate to crash in the apartment for enough rent to the kid to pay for groceries. Why would he hunt for a job?”</p>
<p>Maybe, I don’t know. But I think living at home wasn’t good for any of them and I think the kid became depressed which exasperated the situation. </p>
<p>Her older son moved to the city right out of college and got a job in his field and they still had to supplement him for a few years. </p>
<p>I also don’t know many people who pay for an apartment in the city for just their kid. They supplement the rent of an apartment the kid shares with other kids. </p>
<p>Well, that’s 20k a year tops so it really could be much worse pretty easily.</p>
<p>I know of two recent debt-free grads who just took entry level jobs in NYC and will be living at home and commuting for the indefinite future because their salaries are inadequate to pay for anything other than a shared dump. Personally, I would have lived anywhere rather than go back home after I graduated, but these two don’t feel that way and their parents are happy to have them (we’ll see if that lasts).</p>
<p>Just in my small world of acquaintances, whether at work, the gym, church, etc. I find about a year is what most parents can take supplementing before complaining, but most don’t complain about children at home if they are productive. Of course “supplementing” for some is a couple of hundred, others, 600 or more. Most had children in Boston or NYC. Even with help, they had shoe boxes with 4 roommates at times. It’s hard to be making that much more in a short period of time but you feel like there should be a point if you can’t afford to live in a area, you commute further or look elsewhere.</p>
<p>I have a daughter in Americorps and many popular locations were NYC/Boston/DC but I told her to look for “housing included if possible.” She luckily found a great fit and only has to pay 200 a month for her room/kitchen and still gets a full award. Her sister doesn’t have to pay anything with her Americorps position. You can live on their stipend most of the time, but it’s very hard in big cities. </p>
<p>If we lived in the suburbs of a very expensive but highly desirable city for s’s to live/work in but could not afford the housing, I could see their considering, for about a nanosecond, their living at home and commuting. Makes sense to save up money. But hopefully this wouldn’t continue for years. </p>
<p>We have neighbors whose 2 s’s, their girlfriends (now DIL’s) and their dogs all came home to roost, while working/saving up money. Bit of a zoo. But she is a fabulous cook. So I get that part…</p>
<p>My parents did supplement for my sisters for years. I lived in a shared dump when I worked for a year in between grad school years and again when I was in grad school. I’m sure I would have greatly preferred that to living at home (were that an option). But, I never would have asked for supplements.</p>
<p>Going forward, it is possible that our kids (and maybe yours) expect to live at a different level of comfort than I did. Seems like that might be true for my daughter. My son just spent a year living in a less than splendiferous apartment in a relatively low cost of living place on a startup founder’s salary. It would be interesting to see what happens as the company is moving to a highly desirable downtown location in our expensive but desirable city (thanks @jym626). He’s heading to the west coast for grad school, but would he have lived at home with a big commute or rented a shared dump? Don’t know but I’d guess the latter.</p>
<p>The article does a good job of laying out economic trends that have been in force for a while but were exacerbated by the recent recession. For kids who a) didn’t find a job right away; b) don’t have a degree in a subject that leads to high salaries in the first few years; c) didn’t really look for a job until graduation; and students who need to pay off loans, living at home can make economic sense. But, the wages paid for most entry level jobs are out of whack relative to the cost of living in desirable places. </p>
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<p>There’s plenty of jobs outside of SF and NYC. Seriously, their odds are probably better in Texas, North Dakota, or North Carolina. If the parents live in a 100 person town, maybe it makes more sense to move to a city. But there’s plenty of jobs in more minor cities than SF and NYC. </p>
<p>I think if you dig into the concept of “emerging adulthood,” you find more than the NYT boomerang article gives. We may have jumped at young adulthood and come to expect our kids would. But many need some home ties while they dip their toes into real life. They grow in fits and starts. It’s not just financial. Just don’t fall into babying them. </p>
<p>@LookingFoward, good point about not babying them. I recall going home for a couple of summers while in college and felt my parents were treating me as the person I was in HS rather than the much-changed person I was then. </p>
<p>ShawSon is at home for part of the summer and we are treating him like an adult. He’s not staying with us because of any failure to launch but because he is transitioning out of his position as CEO of a startup (still working there part-time) and is relaxing and getting reading to move to the West Coast for grad school. He didn’t want to pay rent for the summer when he was expecting to be out backpacking and not working. We love having him (although he could be neater). But, he comes and goes as he wishes and joins us for dinner (or not). His GF has slept over a few times. He’s been very helpful to ShawWife – she’s created what must be 150 or 200 lb pieces of art (they’ll likely be exhibited in a museum) and he moved them around the studio and moved one to our house and also pulled a couple of 50 lb bags of some plaster-like substance from her car to the studio. Although the rest of the world values him for his intellect and leadership, ShawWife is taking advantage of his 6’4" frame while he is here. Treating him like an adult seems to work.</p>