<p>My son transferred for junior year, it was also a distance move. He had a girlfriend in his old location for a few months but fairly quickly became ineterested in another young woman at his new school. He dated them both for quite some time. They are both nice young woman and I could have accepted either one easily. The distance GF was a higher maintenance young woman though and I did tell my son that if he took that on for the long haul (meaning eventually marriage), that he would have to honor that committment to maintenance. They have remained friends and he is currently with the other young woman.</p>
<p>Great point, icebat. I think if my father had been alive when my late brother started dating his widow, he would have sat my brother down and told him to look beyond the blond hair and blue eyes, and see what a tough job it was going to be to please this girl. Alas, she was never happy, and drove my brother into an early grave. She has, of course, moved on, enjoying his hefty life insurance settlement, but his death is something we will never recover from.</p>
<p>My daughter was a high-maintenance girlfriend when she was in high school. Her boyfriend’s parents could not muster a single nice thing to say about her despite the fact that we were feeding their son daily and taking him to ball games, amusement parks and we even took him on a ski trip. Although I admit that she was high maintenance, she also kept him in line. A lot of his friends were doing some pretty naughty things, (and some got seriously off track) and she kept him away from all of that. Also she made sure he did his homework, studied for tests, etc… They broke up their freshman year in college (they were on opposite ends of the country) but still remain friends. I think she has grown up and learned not to be so high maintenance, but his parents still can’t stand her…</p>
<p>Good to hear the parent of the girls’ point of view.</p>
<p>I don’t know how txmom defines high maintenance girlfriend, but to me, your daughter seems like a good catch. Maybe his parents were jealous of the amount of time they spent together, but I’d rather my son date a girl who made him a part of her family and looked after his well-being, including his studies, over a girl who would look pretty on his arm.</p>
<p>Update: remarkably, S decided he has had enough and dropped the turkey last night! (Still can’t believe it actually happened on TG weekend) He even de-activated his FB account. The HMGF was in rare form this weekend as he took her to see one of her favorite bands, bought her a $30 sweatshirt, then got mad (I think it was for BREATHING this time), called him selfish for wanting to stay, and demanded they leave before he got to see the band HE had wanted to see. Then he comes to find out the next day that she had met friends later that night and partied her little heart out. That was the last straw…nearly killed him at first but thankfully his older brother was around for moral support and a good dose of common sense. Let’s just hope he can stay strong and move on!!!</p>
<p>So, the turkey actually dropped, eh? Sounds like the girl did the dirty work for him, in a matter of speaking. She actually did him a favor! I’m glad to hear it, having been in your shoes more than once.</p>
<p>The son of a friend of mine ended it with his HMGF after my friend finally went along with their pleas to let her come along on their vacation. After dating for years, a few days into the time in a cabin with her clinging to him he had had enough.</p>
<p>For 1down… deactivating his FB account?! Now that’s something I’d like to see my kids do!</p>
<p>Tx5… your daughter doesn’t sound high-maintenance at all. The problem with HMGFs that I’ve run across is that it’s always all about them without thinking about what’s good for the BF at all. (As 1down said “called him selfish for wanting to stay, and demanded they leave before he got to see the band HE had wanted to see”) Your daughter did the opposite of that.</p>
<p>And, yes, there are a lot of BF’s that are HM, too.</p>
<p>Well guess who’s back in the picture again? You guessed it! So much for Turkey Drop. Can’t say we’re shocked. But it’s all good. Son made dean’s list and seems much more relaxed and confident than a few weeks ago. Ever since he told her he’s through, she’s been playing a different tune…nothing more attractive than a guy who’s uninterested. Of course he’s interested enough to give it another go. Time will tell. Happy winter break everyone!! ;)</p>
<p>My mother did the best thing possible when I had a 2-year HMBF: She left us alone together midway through a week-long ski trip. After 2-3 days of dealing with his incessant demands and drama 24 hours a day, I’d had enough; we broke it off soon after that. 1down, patience – the HMGF will probably get comfortable enough to give your son another reason to drop her again. :)</p>
<p>I am reading this thread from - I guess - another perspective. My DS did the breakup, but I am sad. I know they were too young, I saw the issues, but I really, really grew to care for this girl…He is fine, and I want to support him, and I really understand the issues from a distance (though he’s very private and did not discuss them), but I will, simply, miss this GF.</p>
<p>If she is truly a HMGF, she will show her spots soon enough. He’ll remember how peaceful the last month has been and get back out.</p>
<p>anothermom3 - FWIW, I missed the mom of my ex-bf from college WAY more than I missed him. :)</p>
<p>We did really miss the GF too…in the beginning. But after so much drama that lessened. My husband said that the winter break should do it one way or the other…he wants to lock them in a room together for 5 days and if they come out alive and well it is meant to be. 
But I’m guessing (hoping??) it will be more like geek_mom’s outcome.</p>
<p>well let’s see…they were together pretty much 24/7 for the first 2 weeks of break, and then since early last week, not at all. No texting, calls or visits that we’re aware of. All we know is that we overheard an argument they had on the phone (one of many) that revolved around him defending his desire to visit some high school friends. Sounded like she did not approve, and the next day he was seeing his friends again with no mention of GF.</p>
<p>There is a difference in him this time…he seems less preoccupied and happier in general. We haven’t asked him outright if they are split but he has made a few comments referring to things he had planned with her that he will now be doing with friends from college. We can only hope. Some distance and time will do everyone good…including his parents! loll</p>
<p>Good for him! And good for you and H for not hounding him with questions.</p>