<p>My boyfriend of 9 months is a sophomore in college, and I’m an incoming freshman this fall at UT-Austin. My boyfriend went to Texas State for his freshman year, dropped out fall semester, then took a couple classes at a local CC in the spring of this year. He really REALLY wants to go to UT. He has applied there I think three (four?) times so far. His main objective has and will always be to get into UT. His initial plan for this fall was to go to UH, then try to transfer to UT. Then he decided that instead of doing that, he would go to a local CC in Austin, then try to transfer to UT. </p>
<p>When he first told me of this new plan, I made sure that it wasn’t just because of me. He assured me that although it was partly because of me, it definitely wasn’t ALL for me, he just really loves Austin, and he wants to do it for him. I also told him that just because he is doing this doesn’t mean that he is obligated to stay with me now.</p>
<p>At first I was ecstatic! I hated the idea of an LDR, and couldn’t wait to move to Austin with him!</p>
<p>But now, everything is just so different. I feel like now that the “honeymoon stage” is over, I’m not as in love with him as I used to be. I’m starting to see a lot of things about him that drive me crazy.
For example, he’s really lazy. It’s less than two weeks before school starts, and he STILL hasn’t signed up for classes. He’s been up there like three times this summer (apartment looking), so he has definitely had the opportunity to, he just didn’t do it for some reason.
I could go into more detail, but to keep it somewhat short, I won’t.</p>
<p>So, my problem is:
I want to break up with him, but I feel like I can’t. I feel like I’m stuck with him, because he’s moving cities. I know he told me that it wasn’t because of me, but I feel like it was still, kind of. I just don’t know what to do. Should I just wait and see how it goes in Austin? Or should I just break up with now? I don’t know… I’m so confused.</p>
<p>Sometimes people have reasons for being lazy, so if this is your only reason for breaking up with him, you may want to reconsider… On the other hand, no guy wants a girlfriend who secretly wants to dump him, so…</p>
<p>I’d recommend taking a break from him and so you don’t make a decision that might make you regret it, then break up with him. </p>
<p>breaking up sooner is likely better for the both of you. You’ll save him time by helping him looking for someone else sooner, instead of wasting both your times. You are simply a girlfriend, you have no obligation of what he does (whether going to this college or not).</p>
<p>His laziness is not the only reason. I specifically said I could go into more detail, meaning I could list other reasons, but I thought it would be irrelevant. If you’re really dying to know though, send me a message, and I’ll gladly rant for hours about my boyfriend.</p>
<p>I’ll pass on that, but as much as I don’t want to say it (I hate how everyone on CC who gives relationship advice tells the people to go and dump their significant others without even considering doing otherwise), if you can rant for hours about him, and don’t feel the same way about him that you used to, then dumping him would probably be the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Life is too short to feel stuck with someone. End it now so you can both move on. Do NOT string it out if you have little or no feelings for him.</p>
<p>As a freshman, you’re going to be swamped. With academics, adjusting to a new environment, and meeting new people. You won’t be able to spare the time and effort dealing with emotional baggage like yours because you’ll hit the ground running once the semester starts. If you’re at the point where you feel “stuck” and can rant about him, then you should realize that you’re just wasting your own time. Don’t compromise your own college life just for a relationship that’s lasted for a few months. If he continues his lazy attitude and other things you claim once school starts, then consider the possibility of him dragging you down. If he’s holding you back already, then do you think he’s worth it? End it now and you’ll feel so much better once it’s over and you can take on college head on.</p>
<p>Break it off now!
As Karma says, you are going to be swamped. Not only do you not need this hanging over your head, but you also don’t need him around to distract you from your studies. If his goal is to get into UT, is he likely to hang around the campus there? If you’re still his girlfriend, is he going to expect you to drop everything to do things with him? Is he going to be upset when you plan activities with friends from campus and not him?</p>
<p>Far better to be honest with him, and let him know where you stand. It will only get harder once the semester starts. Consider that he may already resent the fact that you got in, and he didn’t. He said his decision wasn’t ALL for you, but that suggests it was part of the decision. You told him he is not obligated to you, but did he respond that you are not obligated to him? Did he articulate his expectations?</p>
<p>End it.
You’ll be busy making friends, football season and classes.
Tell him you have changed and do not feel the same about him.
You want a clean break from him so you can focus on yourself.
It is only fair that he know that you do not see him as part of your life in Austin.</p>
<p>My roommate had a boyfriend coming into college. Their schools were three hours apart, so they did the long distance thing but I remember her having doubts the very first day school started. Then the next semester he transferred schools to be closer to her. (She wouldn’t let him transfer to our school so he picked one 20 minutes away.) She broke up with him a few weeks later because she felt trapped - like he was planning their life and future together and she had just changed in the first year she started college.</p>
<p>If I were in your situation, I’d break it off now or at least sooner rather than later. You’ll cause him less pain and he won’t have to regret any life decisions he made because he was all in and you weren’t. I know it’s cliche, but if you’re really good together, you might end up together some time down the road. But with this tension in your relationship now, it’ll just stay in the back of your head and ruin everything.</p>