Oh lol another reason my mom added:
“There won’t be any slackers at your school! You won’t be able to have fun and party!”
I just looked at her.
@SugarSmarts try showing your mom this website (remove spaces) https://www . State College vs. Private College Pricing - College RaptorCollege Raptor
It says that
And a CC article says this:
Also, I don’t know what your financial situation is exactly, but here’s a useful graph from Carleton… https://apps . carleton.edu/reasonpackage/reason4.0/www/images/1311516_orig.jpg
It looks like they try to keep loans to a minimum.
Out of curiosity, which state are you in (where would you be looking at in-state tuition?)?
( @SugarSmarts )
As for my parents…my mom can be super strict at times but I guess it’s because she is super stressed. She yells a lot but it’s mostly for small things that get on her nerves but I mostly tune her out. But overall, she is pretty chill about every thing I do so I get a lot of freedom.
As for my dad…I don’t know since I haven’t seen him since I was 8 so I wouldn’t know if he would be strict or not
My parents are really strict, but they’re also really understanding. They try not to bother me during the weekend when I’m holed up in my room, working on homework, and they genuinely want to help me do well in school. We get into fights pretty much every week, but I’m going to miss my parents so much when I’m off to college because they are the only people who understand my personal struggles.
@QueenOfBohemia Haha, good guess! But I live in California 
@SugarSmarts
Ask if you can just apply at least. Then you can see the financial aid you’ll get and hopefully a large package will win her over! Sorry I don’t have any other advice.
@SugarSmarts That sounds tough 
If your know, is your family in high enough an income bracket that they don’t think they’ll get enough FA? Generally colleges are quite generous if you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford it.
Ahh my parents are… interesting.
Mom: she’s the “chill” parent in terms of my social life (aka she tries to make me have friends and no mom people are gross), but sometimes she’s pretty controlling with stuff sometimes (aka she’s like “hey you can do it my way!!!” “hey I can test you on stuff you already know and not allow you to study more!!!”) which leads to conflicts between us. Everyone in my family except my sister gets irritated very easily, so you can guess how well that works out. The more cringeworthy parent when I’m around teachers & friends (but I still love you mom). She also knows (and doesn’t care) that I procrastinate on my work. A lot.
Dad: he’s the one who obsessively checks my grades (thanks, online grading systems) and who’s more strict about my social life (don’t do this, don’t do that, blah blah blah be careful at parties blah blah blah), and half the time he laments about how I’m involved in too much stuff and how I shouldn’t be stressing, but the other half of the time, he’s nitpicky about my grades and stuff. He’s the one I watch TV with all the time c: I also don’t know his opinions about things like dating (he changed the channel when there were kissing scenes on Disney Channel until I was 10 though??? so idk???), which make me somewhat grateful that no one’s ever asked me out. He’s quite naive about the amount of time I spend procrastinating/not doing work.
I don’t really have many restrictions on internet usage? But my parents actually think I work when I’m on my laptop. (Oops.)
@SugarSmarts your mom seems a lot like mine. My mom doesn’t bother to check websites or anything–she just listens to what some people tell her, regardless of their bias. As a result, she’s also really prejudiced against private colleges because of the price tag (and there’s also the whole thing about how a private college is going to brainwash me into a democrat…lol).
She’s basically told me that I’ll be going to in state UF (not bad, but like your situation, it isn’t for me), and has even insinuated her desire to send me to UCF (literally around the corner–I even work there). But thankfully I was able to convince her to visit some colleges with me on a trip we’re taking to Pennsylvania, so I’ll be visiting Swarthmore, Haverford, and Princeton (I’m really just feeding my delusions…hey, maybe I could get into one). Hopefully she’ll be changed. Fingers crossed!
Still, I love my mom despite her misinformation. She really does have my best interests in mind.
@eyrar99 Yeah…ugh I wish Carleton was more generous!! I am in MN, but there’s no in-state tuition for Carleton
And thank you so much for the amazing resources!!! I am bookmarking them–they are super helpful!! 
@penngirlpending Thank you for the kind response!! I think that’s a good strategy.
@GrandBudapest My mom just got a new job so it looks like we have more money now than we would have saved if she had gotten the job like ten years earlier. We’re on the high end of the middle WITH my mom’s job, but WITHOUT her job for 16 years of my life we only had a little over half that. (She was REALLY REALLY lucky to get this job…we honestly have no idea how she got it lol). So what my parents are worried about is that colleges will see our income now and give us way less aid because it looks like we’ve been saving at this level for my whole life. I guess that’s kind of the situation as I understand it.
“(aka she tries to make me have friends and no mom people are gross)”
I DIED HAHAHAHAHAA :D:D:D:D:D:D @tonystarkofwinterfell
Ok um so new change of topic…
Does anyone on here date?? I have never gone out with anyone except for this odd platonic relationship over snapchat with a guy two hours away…
It’s not that I’m not social. It’s just that when guys ask me out I turn them down…like way too much. Usually it’s because a) They aren’t very smart or b) They’re immature. Everyone I know says my standards are way too high. I talked to my best friend (who is amazing and a genius so I value her opinion) and she says people tell her the same thing??
My mom wants me to go with this guy to prom but I don’t want to. Why? He failed to do his part in a group project with my best friend and still got an A-. Is this a bad reason to turn someone down??? Should I be more open???
Also–thank you all so so much for listening to my rants/paragraphs of panic!!! You all are so supportive and if I could give everyone a group hug I would <3
@coffeeaddicted EXACTLY!!! I almost feel bad that I don’t want to do what my mom wants because I understand her reasons for it. After all, she and my dad have been saving for years in the hopes that I could go to college…it’s not her fault that the school I want to go to offers only a little aid.
@SugarSmarts Ahahahaha dating? Wellll… The closest I’ve ever been to a relationship is a few dates with a friend… But then I realized that I really only had platonic feelings for him, soooo…
Sigh. I’ve never really had a real relationship. I guess I really don’t actively look in general, or am too shy/freaked out to ask someone out, or I just have too high of standards. I feel like as I keep getting older and haven’t had any real relationship, the pressure just gets higher and everyone else around me is becoming more experienced romantically and I’m just at square one… Sigh.
I don’t know… Group work slackers are so annoying! But if he works hard in other projects/areas…? If the amount of effort he puts into school work is any indication of the amount he’d put into a relationship with you, then don’t. You’re worth more than that! (:
@eyrar99 ok first of all you are awesome and thank the lord I’m not the only one!!! Seriously…I feel like everyone I know has at least kissed someone. Ugh and the pressure of prom being this year sure doesn’t help! There have already been prom-posals during lunch and I am just so done with it all, mainly because if I get asked I won’t want to go with the guy. But girl, if you and I don’t date anyone until college at least you’ll know someone else who is still at square one, hahaha!
Lol I have no idea what to do! I figure if I don’t think about it too much and just kind of go with him it might be ok…ah well it’s only high school.
@SugarSmarts You’re right… If you think he could be fun for prom, why not? It’s not like it’s a huge commitment or anything.
I go to a tiny rural school, so I’ve been going to prom every year. It’s nice because there’s really no pressure to go with a date and most people who aren’t in a relationship just go in a group of friends.
@eyrar99 Good point. I also tried to put myself in his shoes…dang it would really suck to get turned down for prom…so I guess I’ll take a chance with him. :) And that sounds really fun! Oh my god–I honestly don’t care about regular prom, but I can’t WAIT for post prom!! Free stuff hmu…
WOW OK SO SO SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE I LAST REPLIED ON HERE!! it’s been really interesting hearing all of your guys’s reflections on your parents’ strictness.
as for me: my parents aren’t necessarily that strict. or well, they used to be, but as i’ve grown older they’ve been progressively less strict. however, my experiences with them when i was little (them putting what felt like an INSANE amount of pressure on me to get all a+s on worksheets even in kindergarten…lol, the stigma lasted until probably sixth grade, cause i remember in fourth i cried the first time i got a b+. oop) did scar me, in the sense that my parents are probably the people who scare me the most. as i’ve grown older i’ve realized that they love me, but oftentimes they don’t respect me enough to treat me as an equal, which…really hurts, especially when i am able to comprehend why they feel the way they do and want them to at least LISTEN to reasons why i feel a certain way. sigh. but it was good that they did put all that pressure on me when i was much younger, in the sense that it helped me set really high expectations for myself (that do sometimes make me anxiouS BUT HEY LIFE IS SCARY OK).
hhhhmmmmm. dating…
ok so like, i have the opposite problem as you @SugarSmarts – my friends ALWAYS tell me i set my standards too low. :’)) BUT LIKE OKAY I DON’T KNOW I DON’T THINK I’M THAT GREAT AND I’VE ALWAYS STRUGGLED WITH THAT SO MAYBE THAT’S THE REASON WHY?? i’ve had my first kiss and such and i do kinda feel like an outcast sometimes, especially since i’m probably the only one in my friend group (or among the super super smartie friends i have) who’s been relatively active romantically. i dunno, i’m lowkey a hopeless romantic…but right now i’m trying to lay off the boys HAHA.
and as for the prom thing - ahhh. i feel ya with the pressure from your mom on what to do romantically lol. but if you don’t want to go to prom with him, i feel like it’s your decision and you definitely shouldn’t have to! it is low commitment BUT i feel like if you go to a dance with someone, they usually do expect you to spend at least 1/4 or 1/2 the time with them even if there are some of your friends there. (keep in mind though - i’ve only been to one dance with someone - one dance in general - and although it was a formal-ish dance, we were already…“together”?? if you can call it that) i think maaaaaybe you could be more open?? the good thing about having high standards though is that you have a nice screening mechanism in place; the bad thing is that even if someone does meet all those standards on paper, you might not really “click”. that sounds dumb and clichey and romantic but idk in my experience, it really has been true. but at the same time: it’s high school!! i mean, you still have senior prom to enjoy with your friends. who knows, maybe this guy could be a good friend of yours in the future (even if not a romantic friend or whatnot - WHY DID I JUST SAY ROMANTIC FRIEND. WHO KNOWS). (and for what it’s worth HAHA YEAH I’D BE ANNOYED AF IF SOME GUY WHO DIDN’T DO HIS PART IN A GROUP PROJECT GOT AN A-??? what happened to individual grades -_-)
sorry about the long response!! scroll past it if you really don’t want to read cause i’m just blabbering on LMAO.
also, our schOOL HAS SPRING BREAK THIS FRIDAY AND I’M SO READY!!!
Oh, also, @SugarSmarts I just thought of this: try looking at Colby College in Maine! They’re similar to Carleton but have better financial aid (no loans, meet 100% of demonstrated need). I know your demonstrated need might be skewed because of your mom’s new job, but this could be a halfway point? Personally, I love Colby!