“I also think it’s strange that people are doubting that the young woman’s interpretation of what her teacher said”
May it never happen to you during your career as an educator, @juillet.
I have seen many instances where a counselor says “Duke is a reach school for you,” and the student hears (and repeats to others) “My counselor told me I’m not good enough for Duke.”
High tech hires psych grads to design user interface/experience. This is growing field.
Op, before making such a broad statement. It maybe a good idea to get clarification from the teacher.
I’m not doubting the student’s account because she’s female. I’m doubting it because it’s so far from the truth in so many ways (again, most psych majors do not become therapists, regardless of their gender) that I cannot believe a teacher would say something so blatantly stupid (and false). So I’m hoping the D misinterpreted what the teacher said.
Companies of all kinds hire psych majors for market research roles, for example. And a kid with a psych degree and a strong grounding in statistics will have fantastic career opportunities- which do not involve therapy, counseling, or anything of that sort.
There are findings from labor economics that show that controlling for various other determinants of salaries, the “female intensity” of an occupation is associated with lower pay. In the popular press interpretation of these results, some occupations have been referred to as pink ghettos. Public Relations as a major might is an example of this.
My quarrel with the teacher’s comments is that knowing someone is a psych major doesn’t really tell us anything about their future salary, as that major could lead to many different jobs. I don’t think it is a bad thing for an adult to share what they know about likely incomes associated with various major choices.
@Hanna - But “Duke is a reach school for you” is essentially a nice way of saying “You are not good enough for Duke.” Which isn’t a value judgment on the student’s very identity as a person, but rather their application package.
I’m not doubting that teenagers stretch the truth or deliberately misinterpret adults’ statements for their own ends, but this doesn’t seem like an out of the ordinary thing for a teacher to say. Besides that, the important thing for the OP is to deal with the impact - the exact words don’t really matter with respect to helping the daughter recover and make decisions.
To me, it seems the teacher most likely was trying to be helpful talking to the student. So many others may have just been selfishly preoccupied with their own family’s lives to even spend time or energy like this. I will take it as a cautionary tale that today one needs to be careful and keep shut because things are just way too politically correct and will take it the wrong way.
In addition, there has been a push to get girls into engineering, for example. So, I do see that teacher’s point.
I think this is an opportunity for the OP to teach his daughter a couple of things:
“Which isn’t a value judgment on the student’s very identity as a person”
Depends who you ask! students and parents may feel it that way, however it is intended.
The key is that one phrasing is compassionate and appropriate, and the other is mean and unprofessional. Whether or not a counselor used mean and unprofessional language with a student is a big deal.
“You don’t meet our needs (or requirements)” can mean your numbers aren’t high enough, or we don’t need a bassoon player or left tackle.
I think it’s interesting that people are more likely to believe the adult and discount the student even though all we have is the student’s recounting.
Anectdotally, teachers aren’t necessarily more accurate in their recounting. When my younger was in 2nd grade, a teacher gave me a recounting that I know without a doubt was not accurate. We’ve seen recent examples in the news of this as well.
I am not a gambler, but I would put (Monopoly) money in a bet that there is no evidence that men prefer male therapists. I would be more likely to believe the opposite. Many men who seek therapy are going to be ones who grew up talking things over with the strong female figures in their lives like mothers or grandmothers and that is more likely the type they will gravitate towards.
I have had teachers look me in the eye and lie to my face about something I witnessed myself.
If this were a teacher we had built a trusting relationship with, what he/she said would be taken differently than some teacher who only had my children for this school year. Context is everything, including what kind of relationship the teacher has with the family involved.
“people are more likely to believe the adult and discount the student”
Is that what people are saying? I’m hearing the idea that you can’t be certain about what was said from talking to one party.