<p>Thanks for all of the laughs! This thread provided the family with Friday night’s entertainment.</p>
<p>I needed to call my mom to figure out how to post a letter. I actually almost dropped it in the box without any stamps, too. Damn you, internet…</p>
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<p>I’m mystified as to how one could make this mistake…</p>
<p>S put a pizza in the oven WITH the cardboard under it. Doesn’t taste very good baked that way. 
Good thing my S didn’t link up with your D. 
At least it wasn’t very messy, just needed to be baked sans cardboard for a bit.</p>
<p>I have found texting googl to be VERY helpful. It helped me find the address of places I needed to call or reach. Thanks so much for the tip. Since I have some data with the phone plan, that’s OK anyway.</p>
<p>My DS had come home from college one month into his Freshman year. He had to drive back alone and the trip was nearly 300 miles. I called him about 3 hours into his drive to make sure he hadn’t had any trouble finding a particular exit (one that is not well marked and is easy to miss.) He was deeply offended and informed me that he certainly could manage to find his way to school without my help!</p>
<p>Two hours later, he called me to say he was in a campus parking garage and didn’t know where his dorm was. He told me the name of the garage and asked me how close that was to his dorm – like I would know!!! I asked him why he didn’t just ask someone wandering around in the garage, but he was too embarrassed to ask a stranger for help, so he called me. I had to tell him that I was in the car and didn’t happen to have my campus map handy!</p>
<p>My H once baked a pizza on the cardboard- I wasn’t home yet, he “followed” directions but missed the first step about removing…, the one that seems unnecessary.</p>
<p>I second a Logitech Harmony remote.</p>
<p>@ phone calls from my son (24 years old)</p>
<p>“you know that plastic stuff on the outside of bratwurst, are you supposed to take it off before you cook it?” Me “you mean the skin?”
(my friend told me I should have said yes)</p>
<p>(yesterday from 1300 miles away in a store I have never been to)
“is lettuce the same as cabbage?”
me “no”
him “it looks the same - it’s a round green ball”
“it should say cabbage or lettuce”
“It all says cabbage, I don’t see anything that says lettuce”
“you are probably in the vegetable area. Go and look for salad stuff. The lettuce will probably be there”
“I don’t see any”
“Look for bagged lettuce - the heads of lettuce will probably be near there”
“Oh, there it is. What is white american cheese…”</p>
<p>I didn’t do a good job of teaching him to cook, but he has been eating all his life!!</p>
<p>He was buying stuff to take to work for hamburgers (that someone else was cooking). I’d like to have seen their faces if he showed up with cabbage!!</p>
<p>The first time S2 drove across country home from college (I had driven there with him and flown home 9 months earlier)–and before he had a GPS–he called midway to say he thought he had missed a turn off. I asked him where he was, and he said “Arby’s.” I mean “What town?” “I don’t know.” “Ask someone in Arby’s.” They told him the name of a town I didn’t know. I was able to google it and see that he was still on the right highway.</p>
<p>Snorting tea out my nose…"where are you ". "Arby’s "</p>
<p>Too close to what mine did.</p>
<p>We had a D coming home from a date, car driven by new driver date and no GPS. No one looked at a map before leaving date venue. </p>
<p>Phone rings, “Mom, we are on rte 1 and I think we are going the wrong way!”</p>
<p>“What are you passing?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know, stores…” </p>
<p>“Did you cross the river yet?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but I don’t think we used the right bridge.”</p>
<p>Eventually we got her to spot a landmark and talked them back to rte 95 to get home. And, no, they had not used the right bridge.</p>
<p>S called me last semester at 6 a.m.</p>
<p>S lives in a quad. A new roommate was added to the equation with 2 weeks of school left. S got up to use the bathroom (which all 4 kids share) and the door was locked. He waited patiently knowing that the only person that it could be was the new guy, whom he didn’t know very well. After about 10 minutes or so, he determined that he must be passed out inside. He called me.</p>
<p>Long story short, I listened as he pounded on the door while he tried to awaken the kid for about 15 minutes. When that didn’t work I talked him thru popping the lock. Turns out the kid wasn’t inside after all, thank goodness. They had been having problems whenever they locked the door, so they were used to keeping it unlocked. The new guy didn’t know the drill, so he had come in during the night, used the lock and then left again…leaving the door locked. </p>
<p>Not exactly sure why I was the one to call, but there you have it.</p>
<p>Thank goodness no one was endangered or harmed & it was as simple as popping the lock because the new guy didn’t know about the bum lock. You must have been the one person you S knew he could count on! Maybe his roomies were waiting for someone else to deal with the locked door. :)</p>
<p>Everyone else was away for the weekend. It’s funny now, but S was really quite panicked at the time. It was a Sunday morning, and he couldn’t find an RA, Security, or anyone else to help him.</p>
<p>When I was in school in the 1970s we used to call 411 (Information) when we had life type questions. Why? It was a free call. Long distance to home was “rationed” because of the cost.</p>
<p>How do you bake a potato? Call 411
How long do you cook pasta? Call 411
How do you stop a toilet from running on and on? Call 411</p>
<p>The operators were usually older women and as long as we were polite, they would help us out.</p>
<p>Not on the phone but texting. H was in Europe visiting his mom and found sweet potatoes in the grocery store. She’d never eaten them so he wanted to know how to fix them. I always do them in the oven or microwave, but I knew he’d have to boil them, so I suggested peeling and cubing them, boiling them until tender in chicken stock, and then mashing with butter and salt & pepper. Did this in about 3 txts, with his question as to why he should peel/cube them. Since I didn’t know how big they were and they are often oddly shaped, some far, some long and skinnier, I thought this would be easier for him. Anyway, his mom took over and boiled them for 30 mn in the pressure cooker (peeled & cubed). I never had the courage to ask them how they turned out. Mush / baby food comes to mind.</p>
<p>The right kind of yeast infection cream to buy at Walmart to treat our beagles ears with and instructions how to apply.</p>
<p>DH talked S1 through the purchasing, dismantling and re-installation of the front door hardware at his first off-campus house. Of course this was the night before the security deposit inspection at the end of the year and S1 (engineering major, but not the most handy guy) was also leaving the next day. I enjoyed overhearing my end of the conversation.</p>
<p>My parents are very tech-savvy…mom does web design for a living, dad works for IBM…and we instant message constantly. Most of the time when I ask questions it’s “how do you do this at home?”</p>
<p>Or, “How to I get MS Office to do this?”</p>
<p>Mom is REALLY good at talking me through it without seeing the screen.</p>
<p>The best one was this:</p>
<p>My first semester at college, I went out at about 11PM to go on a late-night snack run with my best friend during finals week. I got into my car, she stand there and says, “HGFM, unlock my door.”</p>
<p>“It’s open.”</p>
<p>She couldn’t get it open because there was a layer of ice on my car. </p>
<p>Both of us being SoCal natives, this had never happened before. I text my older brother, (also a Socal native) because I’m sure my parents are already asleep and didn’t want to worry them. Asked him if I need to do anything before I drive it.</p>
<p>His response: “How should I know? Ask my wife, she’s from Alaska.”</p>
<p>Text my sister-in-law the same question. She responds, “You’re good, just run the engine a few minutes before you drive it.”</p>
<p>Ah, good times. :)</p>
<p>HGFM–sure, running the engine will melt the ice. How did you open the DOOR so you could start the engine? LOL</p>
<p>Edit: I forgot there is such a thing as remote start. Is that what you had?</p>
<p>hahaha no, my driver’s side door opened just fine. :)</p>