Thank you for giving me the opportunity to blat about this, since I can’t in real life.
For as long as I can remember, my husband’s sister has made calendars or framed pictures of our family-without me in them.
Ever. Not once.
We just got two framed pictures from her wedding in November. Yep. No me. Girls, husband, everyone else who has the last name, even a few who don’t. Just not me.
I’ve been married to her brother for 22 years, and I’ve known her since she was 12. She has always hated my guts, and gets a big kick out of passive-aggressively sticking it to me. I used to try really hard to be friends with her-she was in my wedding party, I always asked her opinion about stuff, if she asked for help I was there-you get the picture.
At some point I realized, this woman doesn’t like me and why am I trying-which made me a lot happier but now my MIL calls me and says “you’re trying to tear the family apart” when we let the girls go to very important school events rather than her rehearsal dinner (they weren’t in the wedding, nor was I, but we had to go to the rehearsal dinner and watch them rehearse from the sidelines).
It’s tiring. I gave the framed photos to my husband (it was him, his brother, his mom and dad, and SIL with her new husband) and said, can this go in your office? He snorted and said “not unless my WHOLE family is in it.”
Oooh, thank you. That feels better.
The hit gift (and I mentioned this in the Santa thread) was younger DD’s “Powered By Dragons” hitch cover for my car. They really do power me :).
@bookworm - don’t fret- they may appreciate the gift later. That has often happened here. No misses here! Best gift I gave was a Shutterfly book of our family vacation to my sister in law. DH got a bike bar that you can put on my girl bike to make it easier to load. He was happy. Best gift for me was having every one here!
MotherofDragons – I’d just throw the “gift” away (even though your loved ones are in the picture). It is just going to cause aggravation every time you look at it. Who needs that? I bet it would feel great just to chuck it in the trash, frame and all.
^^I’ll probably keep the frame. If I were a jerk, I’d re-gift her next Christmas with a picture of us in the same frame, but I’m not a jerk, so I’ll re-purpose it with an actual family picture with everyone in it, and put it up in DH’s office.
I don’t celebrate Christmas, and so have nothing to share in that regard…no gifts.
But in reading @MotherOfDragons’ post about the photos from SIL that would have whole family in them but her (terrible!!)…
It reminded me of…at my in-laws’ house, in their casual dining area near the kitchen, they would pin up some family photos on the back of the cabinetry that faced the dining table. There were various pictures of their three adult children and all their grandchildren (including my kids) and so on. There were photos of my BIL and long time girlfriend who was married and living with her husband (not my BIL!) and photos of my SIL with a significant live-in partner of many years, though she is in polymorous relationships. But my husband and I were married, yes, the regular kind (!) for 36 years and I realized that none of these pinned up photos had me in them! And my in-laws actually liked me (I think…or they would tell me so). That always got to me but I never told anyone and so here is my chance!
My Mom gave me a pair of gloves that was two sizes too small for me. (At least they were not rabbit fur this year.)
She also gifted my D a cute little skirt - in size 1. My D is 5 ft. 6 in, and weighs 128 lbs.
Mom also got her two pairs of skinny jeans in the correct size - 7 - so I don’t know what my Mom was thinking - I’m thinking maybe she needs to wear her glasses all the time now?
She did get us all those fuzzy, fleecy socks to wear around the house, and they are awesome, I love them! Now, that’s something I wouldn’t think to buy myself, but they are so useful and comfy.
Photos must be a prime source of passive-aggressive behavior. Many years ago, my 2 SIL had a professional photographer take pictures of the other 9 grandkids–age 6 months to 18–all in matching outfits. Our 3 were not invited.
MIL says it was a “spur of the moment” thing. Really?? 9 matching outfits and a photo studio?? smh. This lovely 12x16 photo is smack dab when walking in the front door. 20 years with this family has certainly made me appreciate my first set of in-laws
The practical things my young adult children asked for, but wouldn’t/can’t buy themselves, seemed to be a hit, especially the Dyson v6 Motorhead sweeper. I’ve never seen someone so excited for a sweeper in my life!
My best Christmas present was that DS and DD bought each other thoughtful presents that both went over beautifully well. A kitchen item for her and a clothing item for him, both showing they paid attention to what was going on in the other’s life. Nice. Also, I guessed well with the small presents for both kids (mainly from us they get checks now). A couple of things for DS that he said he has been considering buying for himself but hasn’t gotten to it, and something for DD that she was telling me on Christmas Eve she needed to shop for before New Year’s Day. So wins all around.
DH and I have been running around trying to get his father in a safe and stable situation, so no presents for each other. We’ll shop together over the next week, unless things blow up again with FIL.
We sent my mother some items that came in a sturdy shipping box that was divided into two sections. And she has 2 cats. So that present went over well with everyone in the household.
I did say Christmas morning that we needed more cowbell. Mil is coming next weekend. I don’t know what to do about the cowbells, the metal/plastic candle lanterns that I’m unsure if they’re for inside or outside or the made in China glass vase that technically has the colors of my house but in no way reflects my taste. If I put them on display she’ll think I like them and perhaps encourage her to send more of the same, if I put them in the trash where they belong she’ll be upset.
I asked for two specific sweaters from a particular catalog, size small. DH decides to get me one in Medium and one in Petite Medium. So one is too big and the other is both too big and too short. I am really cross with him. This is a catalog that I’ve had to return clothes that were too big before - their sizes are off. That’s why I asked for what I asked for.
If I was left out of a picture, or my kid was, I would try to see if there was a way to photoshop me/him in. Then I would blow up the picture, and send a copy to the evil MIL.
@mathmom I hear you! For years, my husband bought me sweaters in size medium and large…because he shopped on Christmas Eve and that is all that was left. I wear a small.
So…for years, I had to return the sweaters (never once was I able to exchange for a size small).
@nottelling and @MotherOfDragons -yes, she was!! My sister in laws, all of them, are wonderful. I can’t even imagine as being as mean as MotherofDragons’ sister in law is. Phooey on her!
