<p>DD e-mailed to say she really feels strongly that she’d like to have her nose pierced. The subject had arisen once before, and DH and I made our opinion known at that time. DH and I e-mailed back to let her know we still would not be supportive of any type of facial piercing. We explained that although we know she is old enough to do what she wants, we hope she will respect our wishes. We know she could have it done and hide it, and the fact that we don’t see her very often would give her time to cover it, but we would be upset us if she did it behind our backs. She sent a beautifully written letter in return that she was disappointed, and the only part of the letter that made her the slightest bit angry was the implication that she would get it done and hide it from us. She said she still wants the piercing and she won’t promise it won’t come up in conversation again, but she understands our position. </p>
<p>I’m not a parent, and I only have one piercing in each ear. A simple nose piercing can be done very tastefully, though. I know two girls with nose piercings, and I didn’t even notice them at first. As long as it’s kept small and simple, there isn’t much to worry about in terms of how it looks. </p>
<p>In terms of your problem, as you know there isn’t much you can do about it. She is an adult, and if after taking your opinion into account she decides to get the piercing, then that is her decision. It doesn’t sound as if she simply ignored your views, and it doesn’t sound impulsive. If she makes the decision to get her nose pierced then that is her choice. You aren’t going to agree with everything your daughter does as an adult; you can give your opinion, but in the end it’s her call. If she asks you again, restate your opinion, but don’t make it a big deal or make her feel like a child disobeying mommy and daddy. She’s becoming an adult and making her own decisions; you won’t like them all, but that’s the way it goes.</p>
<p>I’m a high school student and I have one.
Then again, mine is part of culture.
And I’m planning on taking it out after undergrad.
But remember, it *can *be done tastefully and it *can *be taken out.</p>
<p>When my son was 18, he told me he wanted to get his eyebrow pierced. I told him he was an adult and could do what he wanted, but I pointed out that he would be perceived differently by some people if he did that. I also told him I didn’t like the idea – in fact, I thought it was rather gross – but ended by saying again that he was an adult and it was his choice.</p>
<p>He was furious with me – I guess because I didn’t say, “Great! What a neat idea!” But he also didn’t do it, and now – at the ripe old age of 22 – he’s glad he didn’t.</p>
<p>Your daughter might be asking for your “permission,” even though technically she doesn’t need your permission. I guess it’s your approval she’s seeking. And if you can’t approve of it, then you did the right thing by saying what you said.</p>
<p>Personally, I think that she’s old enough to make her own decisions about things like that. I also don’t see any reason for you to be involved at all. IMO, it’s fine for you not to like nose piercings. At the same time, however, I think that it should be fine for her to get her nose pierced since she’s old enough to think through the consequences and to pay for the piercing.</p>
<p>I have seen tasteful and beautiful nose piercings. People also can take them out for things like job interviews.</p>
<p>I tell prospective (teenage and other) employees that visible piercings are not allowed for safety reasons. Parrots love shiny things – and that’s not a good idea near your face. While a belly button piercing may not be visible if the employee is properly dressed for work, it can be dangerous. One of my employees found out the hard way when a bunny got his foot caught in the ring.</p>
<p>I think nose piercings are disgusting but that’s just my opinion. I think it’s fine for those cultures where it’s been traditionally prevalent, such as Indian, but I can’t understand all of this body mutilation that’s taken hold with piercings in the nose, lips, tongue, eyebrows, and elsewhere along with the endless gaudy tattoos that seem popular. Kids seem to want to be ‘individuals’ by doing what everyone else is doing. Seems like an oxymoron to me. Furthermore, it’s hard to say how visible mutilations such as piercings and tattoos might impact future employment. Even if there are no firm policies against it at the prospective employer, there may be some unwritten rules or biases against it - especially in positions where one must interact with clients at a professional level.</p>
<p>If she’s 18 and she pays for it with her own money, there really isn’t anything you can do to stop her. She’s becoming an adult and this may be only the FIRST decision she makes that you won’t like (don’t mean that to sound harsh; just being truthful). You’ve given your opinion when she asked for it, so now the final decision on whether she gets one is hers.</p>
<p>If that’s the “worst” thing that she does, consider yourself lucky!!</p>
<p>My daughter had her nose pierced at 17, had it for a year and lost interest. She let it grow closed and you can’t even tell.
She might as well do it now while she is in college, she may lose interest before she even graduates and is looking for a job.
NOTE : I did not mind the way the piercing looked on my daughter, but she would fidget with the jewelry a lot and it made her look like she was picking her nose LOL not too attractive.
I agree with the comment above - "if that’s the worst thing she does…</p>
<p>Mine had one. She would put a small stud in and after awhile you didn’t even notice it. She did come home one day with a hoop and we vetoed that one. She had a job in a conservative place and she had to remove the nose ring plus any earring aside from the traditional one in each ear.
The great thing about the nose piercing is that they close up very quickly. My D eventually got tired of taking it in and out and within days you could not see the hole.</p>
<p>oh, never mind. Must me Holy Mother of God… right? </p>
<p>Anyway, you have my sympathy.</p>
<p>A friend of ours (a mom who should be too old for new nose piercings) freaked us out by showing up with what appeared to be a nose thing. Turned out it was a very convincing fake.</p>
<p>Oh, and in the topic title, the “2 holes” you are referring to are her nostrils? I am sharp as a hammer today!</p>
<p>I’m not much into body art or piercings but as far as stupid ideas go this one ain’t that bad. I have seen some demure studs that don’t look godawful but then again I have seen some the size of farm implements. I don’t think that’s an especially good look. ;)</p>
<p>“Furthermore, it’s hard to say how visible mutilations such as piercings and tattoos might impact future employment. Even if there are no firm policies against it at the prospective employer, there may be some unwritten rules or biases against it - especially in positions where one must interact with clients at a professional level.”</p>
<p>This thoughtful musing reminded me of a time, two years ago, when I wanted to recruit two student teaching interns to help in my public school classroom. The only warning the principal gave me was, “Fine, just no face piercings.” You can wonder all you want, or say they’re common in your kid’s public school, but there’s an example of an “informal” veto where anybody with piercings would immediately be ruled out of consideration before the starting line. Nobody would even know they were ruled out.</p>
<p>How old is the daughter…does she make many decisions like this? Asking for permission, I mean…</p>
<p>I see an number of options:
She really doesn’t want to do it, but is play acting at it to appease her friends
She really wants to, and may have already done it and is easing mom and dad into it
She sort of wants it, and is testing the waters
She wants it, but can’t make decisions on her own, and needs parents approval
She wants it but in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a biggy, and wanted parents thoughts and probablly at some level agrees with them</p>
<p>My neice has one, tiny stud…kind of cute</p>
<p>In our house we have the tatoo discussion- neither girls likes pain, but is thinking about getting a small one at hip level area when they are older…if they get one, well, okay, not the worst thing in the world
My oldest is considering getting her cartilege pierced, but agrees that she would only wear a small hoop, the thing in the back showing, ewww…</p>
<p>I think my D would have gotten an eyebrow piercing or nose piercing if she wasn’t a vocal performance major. They aren’t allowed to have facial piercings. I did allow her to get two tasteful tattoos when she was 16. People thought I was crazy, but it just didn’t bother me. In fact, I have 2 tattoos myself! You wouldn’t believe how common tattoos are in the professional employment ranks these days. WildChild, on the other hand, was strongly discouraged by me from getting a tattoo. I didn’t trust him to make a choice that he would be happy with down the road.</p>
<p>I figure by college age, kids are free to make these decisions on their own. It’s nice that she asked your opinion, which I think should be offered freely, but also with the knowledge that they’re at an age where we, as parents, really shouldn’t be forbidding them to do it. It’s not something I’d do, nor is it something I’d love if one of my Ds wanted to do it, but it would be their decision. Two of my Ds have small tattoos which they had done years ago, with my permission, and I, and they, realize that some people don’t approve but you can’t go through life hoping to account for every possible person’s opinion of your appearance. I think that pay3tuitions’ principal, and others like him, are foolish when they make pronouncements like he did, based solely on appearance and refuse to even interview someone, rather than basing the choice on who is the best for the job.</p>
<p>So you’re saying that your principal wouldn’t have allowed you to recruit an Indian girl with a culturally appropriate nose piercing? I hope that this was not a public school.</p>