Hola por favor please grade mein essay.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi</p>

<p>I just wanted to write a quick one, could someone please provide an opinion?
Any scale is fine, I’m not sure which really helps more, maybe just a 0-6.</p>

<p>

[quote]

Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better.</p>

<p>Adapted from Karen Finucan</p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Changes that make our lives easier never end up making them better. The cell phone was developed to simplify calling. Now, it has developed into a habit and indispensable tool that plays a greater role in parenting than parents themselves do. It has simplified calling, yet developed into an integrated part of everyone’s existence and instead of the phone being picked up to call someone, now the tables have turned- it is now the phone that beckons to the person to be picked up. Everything along the path of change to simplify life only destroys its complex and slower aspects. Ultimately this only produces more integration in these technologies in peoples lives and it no longer only makes ones life easier- it becomes a part of life. Life then, has not gotten “better”. If it becomes ingrained and integrated and branches to every part, no longer does it make something easier, but is an entire aspect of life.
Furthermore, it is a bad aspect of life. Just as people can lead impoverished lives these changes for simplification lead people to emotionally impoverished lives, depriving them of thought, and replacing the human interaction with technology’s far-reaching roots.</p>

<p>Well now reading it over for the first time I see a lot of problems, but this is the default version.
I can’t seem to avoid some of these problems that can be solved on a first read-through, though.</p>

<p>Oh and just a side question, I’m wondering if it’s a good idea not to seriously base my essay off of the quote. Isn’t the quote really just there to explain what direction the actual question takes, and doesn’t really well, your essay doesn’t really have to directly talk about it?</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>Your essay is really short, which (regardless of what the CB claims) will hurt your score. In addition, you really shouldn’t use absolute words (never, always, every time) in your thesis because they basically kill your essay. Avoid cliches like “the tables have turned.” Also, you should use at least three examples, and your final paragraph basically doesn’t make sense. You’re right in thinking you don’t need to bother talking about the quote. Remember: you can do literally anything you want for support. Make it up if necessary; you won’t lose points. Overall, I think you would probably get a 2 or 3 (4-6 on the 12 point scale), so you should definitely keep practicing.</p>

3

<p>Scores correlate with how Long the essay is.</p>

4

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>Is it possible to keep on writing in this thread to ask for advice?</p>

<p>Is that bannable or annoying at all?</p>

5

<p>I doubt anyone would see anything wrong with you asking for advice here, although it seems like most kids post separate essays in new threads.</p>

6

<p>It is true that most short papers receive low scores. This isn’t because they’re short. It’s because they’re weak.</p>

<p>Since they added the essay, I’ve read many “short” fives and sixes and many “long” threes. Just writing tons of gibberish (not that you’d do so) won’t get it done. Readers do NOT just look at a paper, notice that it’s long, and then automatically give it a four or higher.</p>

<p>You had a question about “basing your essay on the quote.” I will answer that with this: they didn’t put it there for nothing.</p>