<p>Today, before I find myself responding too quickly to any “nonsense,” I will ask myself if my response is going to increase the likelihood of having an enjoyable day. (I will, I will, I will…)</p>
<p>Wishing everyone the best it can be as 2012 winds down and families gather.</p>
<p>Travelnut, great idea. I think will try to do that, too! Merry Christmas!</p>
<p>Thanks travel nut. I have a feeling my tongue with be sore from countlessly itingbitbtoday but it will be well worth it</p>
<p>After last night I decided I am not going to the family Christmas eve anymore. It was really the final straw.</p>
<p>TODAY will be a very nice day, however. BF and I exchanged lovely and thoughtful gifts this morning and had our favorite breakfast, and we are about to watch a christmas movie and relax. Later on we will go to my parents house for dinner, just me and BF, my parents, and my little sister… no more chaos. If my mom still wants to have xmas eve next year, BF and I will start our own tradition for that night and have my family over on Christmas day instead.</p>
<p>Our former neighbor/friend stopped by to drop off her dog. We’ll mind the dog for the day, along with our two and S1’s one. Yeah, that’s four dogs.</p>
<p>Friend brought a loaf of homemade banana bread. When she and her family came in, she presented it to me and I put it on the small table in the entry way. Then we proceeded to show them around our new house.</p>
<p>One of my dogs jumped up and pulled the banana bread down. Of course all four dogs ate the entire loaf, while my friend was still here.</p>
<p>I feel terrible. How do I make this up to her? I don’t want her to think I don’t care about her gift.</p>
<p>very Happy,
yeah, awkward fits the bill. i would probably make some other loaves, and give her one of those. this time joke about putting it high up. Accidents happen to all of us.</p>
<p>My 80 year old mom had a com to Jesus talk with my brothers last night. She told them that she is not going to be around forever and she wants them to get along. Told my older brother to stop nagging at the younger one, and told the younger to just grow up and stop being so sensitive. Both of them seem to be better with each other after the talk from mom. Hope it lasts for a while. OP, maybe you want to give it a try.</p>
<p>VH, I would have just acted horrified,said “Oh no, I can’t believe it, your beautiful banana bread!” and hopefully had a good laugh over it together for years to come. The woman was trying to thank YOU for watching her dog and this was an accident - totally unnecessary to make it up to her.</p>
<p>Veryhappy, I probably would do the same thing as roshke. Make light of it. Tell her it reminded you of the scene from A Christmas Story where the Bumpus hounds ran into their home and ate the turkey…and that you hope to have some the next time she bakes!</p>
<p>It could’ve been worse, my neighbor told me that her visiting brother brought his dog with him. The dog promptly claimed his territory by peeing on their gifts under the tree. Yuck.</p>
<p>Well, her dog did proceed to puke up the banana bread all over my carpet, after my friend left. But still . . . . .</p>
<p>and the first laugh of the day goes to VeryHappy. Sorry about the messy clean up. Thanks for the chuckle. :)</p>
<p>Turned out to be an interesting Christmas, not really down, just numb I guess, funny how things happen. I have been disconnected from my family of origin for quite a few years, I in effect became a pariah when I dared simply set down boundaries and ask for respect, it would take a lot of pages to explain the whole story but in a nutshell, in my family, there was a weird dynamic where they couldn’t figure out when you had your own family,that that took precedence, plus a lot of other crap, and when I pushed back,set boundaries, it was like I somehow had killed the queen of England or something, and when I have attempted to reconcile, it turns into a litany of how bad I am, how I ‘broke up’ the family, lot of crap. (Thank god for good therapists)…in any event, I got a call from my sister in law,that she and my brother and his kids would be passing through the NYC area the weekend before Christmas, and did we want to get together? It was amazing in one sense, in the past I would get a call on Friday saying let’s get together this weekend, when they had made plans with everyone else weeks before, this time it was almost a month before. Initially I thought maybe it would be a good thing but as I thought about it something said no, and I kind of blew the whole thing off. It was weird, it should have been obvious I wasn’t interested, but I kept getting these phone calls, and my sister then called, saying maybe she would be involved…it was all so weird, from people I hadn’t heard anything from in 10 years or more…my sister got married about a year and half a go, never got a notice or anything, now this?</p>
<p>I realized I didn’t want it because nothing had changed, that the holidays with my family were always these love love kiss kiss fests that were obligatory, but there was nothing real there. I suspect it would be like let’s get together, and it would be the same old crap, no real connection, just pretent nothing had happened, or worse, it would be like “oh, we forgive you”, totally leaving out it was never a one way street. I kind of came to the conclusion that if people want something genuine they will reach out first, make an real effort to talk, instead of doing it under the pressure and such of the holidays (I realize others in this thread have managed to come together through the holidays). One of the wisest pieces of advice I ever got on reconciliation said it had to be based on a new relationship, that you cannot reconcile on the old one, the old dynamics, it had to be new, and what I realized was this was nothing new, it was surface at best, plus I know my brother only too well, the last time we got together 10 years ago he was basically a moody, nasty a** who didn’t say 2 words to me, and to quote my therapist, why would I want to put myself through that? What would be the point? </p>
<p>I am happy I did that, because had I gotten together with them it would have made things harder. This is the first Christmas where our S will not be home for Christmas, he is involved in a prestigious music event over the winter holiday, from the middle of last week till this friday, living in NYC. We saw them perform last night at Carnegie Hall, and that was amazing…but on the other hand, my wife has been battling a nasty respiratory crud, and spent the day in bed, so it has been pretty much just another day in some ways. On the other hand, I am off until the end of the year, so it isn’t all that bad:). Still, a time to give myself some time to think is never a bad thing:).</p>
<p>Therapists I know, including the one I used, said that their patients would go home for the holidays and they would spend the next 3 months patching them back together…so don’t feel like you are the only one:)</p>
<p>And a fight at my sister’s house. No matter how many times I said nothing will be solved by us fighting on Christmas, she kept digging. It did end quicker than normal but blah</p>
<p>ebeeee, glad to lighten up your day!</p>
<p>Tried to add to your greenies but it won’t let me. Boo! The day here turned out better than I expected. Now it’s off to the gym tomorrow and then to the dreaded Target returns line.</p>
<p>We had a lovely Christmas. Brunch with another Jewish single mom whose kid is away in FL with Grandma and Grandpa. Then we took my 16-y.o. dd to her bf’s house and I spent the rest of the afternoon with my fellow single mom, followed by dinner at a Chinese restaurant, the only one open on 7th Ave. South in Greenwich Village so it was crowded and yummy. Then went to pick up my dd and went up to meet her bf’s parents for the first time. Lovely people. And then home. No family (besides dd), no drama, just right! (Oh, of course a call from my 89-year-old dad who couldn’t find the new pill boxes (I filled up 5 weeks’ worth last week) but he found them as soon as I told him (for the 99th time) where they were. Ah, the generational sandwich!</p>
<p>Oldfort, I will bet that your Mom never expected to have to ‘mother’ at age 80! Good for her, though. They probably needed that message from her.</p>
<p>Christmas is always a little bit sad for me. My D has always gone to her father and stepmom’s house for the day, and my stepsons were at their mom’s when they were children (both in the navy now). So my H was always let down and depressed and it’s just never been a very happy day. Today I was so tired after cooking a big Christmas Eve dinner, late church last night, early breakfast today, and a HUGE kitchen cleanup, I have just stayed in bed all day. We had leftovers from last night and that’s been it for the day. </p>
<p>Our Christmas Eve day was very nice though, so no complaints. I made a big effort with decorations and food this year, because my D is home for a week and it will likely be the last year for several years that she can come home. (Graduating from med school and starting residency.) I am so glad I went to the effort because the tree and house decorations look very festive. </p>
<p>And D and H have not gotten into any arguments, and both came with me to church last night to hear me sing in choir. Nice Christmas spirit.</p>