If some asks me the question, “Do you like anchovies on your pizza?” I take that as a straightforward question. There’s no point in doing anything else IMO. I try not to read ulterior motives into things people say even if they are being catty because that just leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. It’s always better IMO to be matter of fact about it and assume other people have good intentions. If they’re trying to offend me they’re going to have to try a lot harder than asking about anchovies on my pizza or saying “you’re so dressed up”.
I always told my kids to look for the good things in life and don’t go looking for bad things. When the bad things come around they’re gonna find you — no reason to go looking for them before they are right there in front of your face.
You can choose to take the anchovies question or the dressed up comment any number of ways. I could choose to get offended by someone just asking my name, too. But I’m not going to because I choose to assume good intentions.
If someone wants to say “your clothes are ugly” or “your choice of pizza toppings is dumb” then that just reflects poorly on them. It’s my body. I get to decide what I want to wear and eat. No skin off my nose if somebody else doesn’t like it.
My motto is to treat other people with kindness and give them the benefit of the doubt and if they’re mean anyway it’s something going on with them not me. Distance and don’t engage. Usually that works.