So, let’s say you are already late for the Christmas party and are scrambling to wrap the last presents and discover you are out of the Christmas paper.
– Do you wrap the gift in the leftover dreidel paper, or stop at the store, making you 25 minutes later than you already were?
–Would it be less offensive to use the left over Sponge Bob Happy Birthday paper from the toddler’s birthday party or the “It’s a girl!” paper left over from the baby shower?
–Maybe we can pass off some aluminum foil as silver wrapping paper? Or why don’t you just rip a page out of that old oversized atlas that we were going to throw out anyway and use that?
–Do you think this Nordstrom bag with a winter scene on it can pass for a gift bag?
I get the feeling that the rest of you are a lot more organized than I am.
Well done, nottelling! Since I know every year I have to wrap both Hanukah and Christmas gifts, I find it immensely simpler to have gift wrap that can “swing both ways” rather than try to keep equal amounts of Hanukah and Christmas paper on hand, and then realize that one of the gifts is quite large and takes up a lot of paper and now I’m short … And I’m ALL about keeping it simple. One of my projects next year is to declutter the bin where I keep all the gift wrap supplies, and I may just dump it all and start afresh with plain papers that will work for any occasion.
I’m also all about taking the Nordstrom bag with a winter scene, stuffing in some tissue paper and using that as a gift bag, too, LOL. We hand gift bags back and forth in our family!
I really think the OP is off on this one. I think the gift givers are celebrating their holiday - not yours- when they give a gift. I was in a mixed faith marriage and I never dreamed of expecting a Hanukkah gift (Gouf - it can go either way on spelling) nor a Passover card, etc. My in-laws were quite respectful but didn’t know what or when Hanukkah was. Similarly, when I was sitting with my in-laws on Christmas morning I think I would have been quite offended if they skipped my present because I wasn’t Christian. That’s just not how it works. Often Hanukkah is not even at the same time as Christmas, and I have to say I have never gotten a Hanukkah present at any time other than Christmas-time from anyone except family.
In fact, most of my gift recipients are atheists/agnostics whether they celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas or neither. It would truly drive me crazy if I had to gauge the inclinations of everyone before I chose paper. What would you do if its a joint gift for an interfaith couple? Predictably I lean towards the neutral.
My sister frequently uses non-holiday wrapping for her presents. It sort of drives me crazy because she’s my sister and it really kills the visual effect of the holiday. But I know that’s my issue and she can do whatever she pleases.
Obviously, you are bothered. I guess you shouldn’t be, should just shrug it off and say “hey, they like me, they really like me” but I can see where it’s a bit passive-aggressive. Awkward.
" It would truly drive me crazy if I had to gauge the inclinations of everyone before I chose paper. What would you do if its a joint gift for an interfaith couple? Predictably I lean towards the neutral."
I think part of why you’re supposed to gauge the inclinations of everyone is because the gift is for the person, not you. Like I said, I don’t get offended at this stuff. But I can see how a Jewish person might not want to receive something ultra-super-Christmasy in gift wrap, and I for one certainly wouldn’t use dreidel paper for anyone who I knew wasn’t Jewish. But again, I feel like this is one of those issues where it’s so darn easy to resolve with no fuss at all.
I usually do a good deal of my holiday shopping online - at least 60%. I won’t order from any store that does not gift wrap and almost all online wrapping is generic - very pretty but wrapping that can be properly sent to anyone. For the wrapping that I have to do myself, we are pretty much past the “santa and reindeer” phase when the children were younger - so any paper I have is also something that could be given to anyone.
Personally I just don’t take offense to this sort of thing - I am not religious so I would not be insulted by dreidel wrap, santa wrap or Buddhist prayer stick wrap. The holidays are a time for everyone to come together and find some joy, not a time to look for conflict.
" I am not religious so I would not be insulted by dreidel wrap, santa wrap or Buddhist prayer stick wrap. "
I think people who are religious might indeed be offended / insulted by it, though. It’s really important to my BIL, for example, that his daughter (my niece) be raised Catholic. (My sister doesn’t care, she’ll go along with the program.) I respect that. It would really be unusual if I were to come bearing a gift for her in dreidel-covered paper when she’s simply not Jewish and never will be. It’s understandable to me how it might be thought of as thoughtless if I did so. Not mean, but just kind of dumb.
This is not a perfect analogy, but my birthday is right before Christmas. My family was always very careful to separate my birthday from Christmas so I always got birthday gifts wrapped in birthday paper, Christmas gifts wrapped in Christmas paper, etc. and still do to this day. Consequently, I’ve never felt shortchanged at all. A lot of late-December birthday holders – even ones whose birthdays are much further from Christmas than mine is – do get kind of screwed over, their presents are forgotten or combined, they’re wrapped in Christmas paper instead of birthday paper, etc. I can see how other late-Decemberites would kind of resent being repeatedly handed a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper “because that’s all I had on hand.” It’s not the end of the world, but it could be perceived as a little bit thoughtless - and all the more because it’s just so darn easy to remedy this kind of thing. I think this might be somewhat of an analogy. Not the end of the world, and likely not meant in a mean-spirited fashion, but a little more thought would be considerate.
I can’t personally speak for how religious people would feel. My friends know I am not religious and I have received gifts in all sorts of paper - including religiously themed paper. I am not insulted when I receive a gift wrapped in paper from friends who know I do not practice that religion. Just doesn’t bother me.
When I give gifts to religious friends I don’t remember the issue ever coming up. We open the gifts and the paper gets thrown away. If I have ever given gifts wrapped in Christmas paper to one of my jewish friends, I never heard any objections and they are still my friends. Probably has happened in the past since we used to use Christmas paper when the children were little. It is probably all I had on hand. Our gift paper now is more mono-chromatic with decorative bows and ribbon. So if it ever was an issue with my religious friends, it isn’t any longer.
Am I missing something? I was shopping for Christmas paper earlier today and none that I saw was remotely religious. Most of it seemed to be in some sort of generic patterns (like stripes or dots) or prints like poinsettia.
My Christmas gift wrap is Charlie Brown themed. More like the characters playing in the snow but it is meant for the winter holidays. I plan to use the wrap for winter birthdays too.
True it might be hard to find “religious” theme wrapping paper for Christmas - to me that would be manger scenes, maybe angels and shepherds, or three kings. (Hey there’s a real marketing opportunity! All those Christians offended by Starbucks and so forth really ought to make religious wrapping paper! Why isn’t anyone up in arms about the lack of holy family paper?)
But I digress . . I still think Santa or Christmas tree or holly leaves paper is still “christmas” and I would not use it to wrap a gift for Hanukkah personally.
If I’m giving a gift, I give a Christmas gift because that’s the holiday I celebrate. I send Christmas cards. I sing Christmas carols. I do not get Hanukkah cards for my Jewish friends, just send them the same card everyone else gets. I do not give their children 8 gifts instead of one (nor do they give my kids 8 gifts, just one). If my friends give me a gift, it is wrapped in Hanukkah paper. I do not expect them to go out to buy Christmas paper.
My friends are so used to seeing birthday gifts from me wrapped in Christmas paper at any time of the year they don’t even blink. I try to get the blue and white snowflakes paper, but Santa has been to many birthday parties in May or September too. I’ve bought a lifetime’s worth of paper at the after-Christmas sales, and I’m still using it. Have kids with birthdays on either side of Christmas (one’s is tomorrow) and I’m pretty sure they have never received gifts wrapped in anything other than Christmas wrap.
We have been married for 37 years. I have never received anything from my in laws. No Christmas gifts, Chanukah or idol worshiping. FIL is now deceased…mil hasn’t done anything.
Sorry to be flippant but figure out who you are (as a couple and single). Work on it…and please don’t marry (actually having kids) until you know what is important to you. The fact is both sides recognize you as individuals …and together. They spent time and effort to purchase something(s) for you. And it is wrapping paper…The love is inside.
If you (as a FIL/MIL) only send a present to your SIL/DIL at a time other than the holiday (but rarely specifically for holiday), will SIL/DIL resent it? (assuming that they do not travel to your home to spend the holiday with you.)
Because of our own not so pleasant experience (as DIL), we prefer to not give our loved one any burden of buying and sending us gifts for any holiday. But we still have some lingering concern that we could err on being too extreme in the other way and they may think we do not care about them.
Compared to most CCers on this thread, it seems we are very different.
@Pizzagirl …my point was that yes…I wouldnt purposely choose a manger scene over a non manger scene, but I would put it in a manger scene if that’s all I had. The paper chosen is not to offend or being “naive and ignorant”…it’s what is available, because it’s not meant to make a specific point. The same with wrapping a mans gift in a more masculine christmas paper. None available paper? Well they get the snowflake, too. I’m not insinuating anything.