Holiday politics for newlyweds

Parent Cafe
101

<p>Moliebatmit - I always love when your posts pop up! You made such wonderfully reassuring comments when I was ranting about my 22 year old D becoming engaged last fall! Well, the wedding is THIS SATURDAY and I have been thinking about the very same holiday issues you brought up. Although it may not be easy, I am going to try to live my the creed my family went by-</p>

<p>“An occassion is when you make it”</p>

<p>For the first 20 years of my marriage, when my MIL was alive, we spent every Thanksgiving, Christmas eve, and Christmas afternoon dinner there. She wouldn’t have liked it if we weren’t there. They lived in the same town we do and it was just easier. </p>

<p>My side of the family lives a couple of hours away. Thanksgiving is the Saturday after and Christmas is usually celebrated the weekend after the 25th. Everyone is less rushed and we just spend the whole afternoon at my neice’s house eating, visiting, opening presents - it is wonderful!</p>

<p>After our children were born and as life has changed as they have gotten older, we always make our plans based on what is best for the FOUR OF US. When our D’s started college, Thanksgiving was the first time since starting school in the fall that they were able to come home, and they wanted to be HOME. From that point on I made the Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes the in-town relatives join us, sometimes they don’t. My family has never come down as nearly all of them live up there together. It is okay, no one is hurt. Our Christmas tradition now consists of Christmas eve with the in-town familiy, Christmas day at home, Christmas dinner at our house and Christmas is celebrated with my family the weekend after. Works out great, but everyone has to go into it with the right attitude!</p>

<p>The D who is getting married lives in the larger city two hours from here where MY family lives - we will see what develops - the dynamic might change again and I will try to “go with the flow”!</p>

102

<p>MidwestParent, I love your motto, and I love your attitude!</p>

<p>I wish your D and new H all the best! Enjoy the wedding!</p>

103

<p>Thank you NEMom! Things are wild! :eek:</p>

<p>Whatever4 - you took the words right out of my mouth regarding exact dates, but you said it much better than I would have!</p>

<p>Speaking of Vermont and COMPLETELY off topic - my baby is there at a 7 week language camp and this is the l-o-n-g-e-s-t period of time I have gone without seeing her and rarely speaking to her! She comes home and has a ONE DAY turn around before she heads to her college for a one week intensive (9a-9p) orgo course before starting fall classes. H and I are going through withdrawl!</p>

<p>Now back to the holiday discussion…</p>

104

<p>Hooray for the MidwestWedding! Best wishes for a beautiful, happy, joy-filled day. :D</p>

<p>My SIL is visiting this weekend, so I think we will ask her in private what her plans are for the holidays and plan to spend the days she’s in town with my in-laws and visit my family during another block of days.</p>