Fortunately for this discussion, one of my 4 kids did fixate on video games much more than I wanted him to for a while. I’m not nor ever have been a gamer, and I didn’t really appreciate them, so this was difficult for me. However, I’m glad I trusted the process because he eventually realized himself that he didn’t like how he felt emotionally or physically when he played that intensely. Did we have discussions about it during this time, and did his Dad and I question him about it? Of course. And, did we allow him to stay up all hours, thereby affecting the whole family with his moods? No. (Others may allow this. We didn’t. To each his/her own.) Unschooling is definitely not hands-off, even if it’s not coercive. However, he reached a point where he agreed with much of what we gently but honestly discussed with him because he saw it himself. His self-awareness has led to him valuing a more balanced life, and he can self-regulate. That’s an extremely valuable, mature skill. I’ve seen this happen with other children, as well, so it’s not just my son.
Plus, it’s not like gaming is all he did. We frequently go to interesting museums, co-ops, events, and other places, and he only chose to miss these a few times during that time. Sometimes he grumbled, but he ended up going, knowing he’d miss things like eating out or getting dessert and seeing friends. Those were big motivations to get off and out, too, even if he wasn’t interested in where we went. Sometimes, I had to do those things just to entice him away from video games. Again, unschooling does not mean hands off.
He wasn’t the only one who learned from this. I learned that gaming does have several benefits, including educational ones, and I also learned–once again–to trust the process. That’s much more difficult than it might seem.