<p>I’ll be headed to a far-away college in a few weeks, and I’ve heard two different versions of when homesickness usually strikes:</p>
<p>1) The first semester of college is horrible. You feel lost, scared, overwhelmed and lonely, and that’s when homesickness is the worst. But once you get back from the winter break, second semester is always much better. You’ve made friends, you’ve got your bearings, and that’s when you start loving college.</p>
<p>2) During first semester, you don’t have time to be homesick. You’re so excited about being at college, enjoying your new freedom, making new friends, etc. But after being home with your family for winter break, coming back for second semester is terrible. The newness has worn off, the weather stinks, no more fun football games… just schoolwork and cold. This is when homesickness is at it’s worst.</p>
<p>I’m just wondering which is more common? What did you/your child experience their first year at college?</p>
<p>Both took a gap year to do community service, one in our city the other in the other side of the world. As far as I know, they didn’t have homesickness, but I think each would say the first term is the biggest transition.</p>
<p>There is no typical. Really, there isn’t. I don’t remember ever getting homesick. Not even when I lived in another country for a semester. Some of my friends STILL get homesick and we’re going to be seniors.</p>
<p>It depends on how much you like your family.
Me and my family don’t get along well and they were always nagging me so I was never homesick ever.
Swamped by homework and other normal academic and social concerns yes, but not homesick.</p>
<p>Now, it’s the summer after my first year and I can’t wait to go back to college/homesick for college (what I feel is my new home).</p>
<p>It really depends on how much independence you have. If you are really dependent on people than maybe yes, you will be homesick in the second or third month (after excitement have faded away) for a brief time, maybe even just a few days or a bad day. But after that, I don’t think so. By the end of the semester you will most likely grow to like it and feel right coming back after winter break. </p>
<p>If it’s a problem after first semester, than I think you are WAY too dependent…</p>
<p>I was never homesick, even though I liked my family quite a lot. I agree that it’s not predictable, but I wouldn’t assume you’ll be homesick at all.</p>
<p>Neither my brother nor my sister have had any sort of homesickness. I’ve spent time away at sleepaway camps for weeks without even contacting my parents (oh gosh, I sound like a horrible child!). None of us dislike our parents, it just seemed that the way we were raised didn’t result in a tendency to feel homesick. I plan on keeping in contact and visiting home every month or so (I’ll only be an hour away), but I can’t imagine feeling homesick.</p>
<p>OP, I think homesickness is far more common during first semester. When I was at my D’s Orientation, someone from the counselling service spoke to us parents. She said that during fall semester, homesickness is the most common problem that students come to see them about. BUT as others have said, many students never experience it, or they may have a touch of homesickness for a short time which passes quickly.</p>
<p>I was pretty homesick my first three weeks. This was back before texting or skype, and long-distance phone calls were prohibitively expensive, so there was really no choice except to tough it out. I remember the very moment that it ended. I had come back to the dorm from a class one evening and was walking down the hall to my room, and I saw my neighbors’ door standing open. This girl was also a freshman, but I had noticed that she already seemed to be forming a group of friends. I glanced in her room as I walked by and saw a couple of other girls with her, so I stopped in the doorway and said, “Hey. What’s up?” We chatted for 5 or 10 minutes, and I went home – feeling much better and already planning to invite her to go to dinner with me the next day. As it happened, she beat me to it. But that was the end of my homesickness, and she and I became best friends.</p>
<p>I would say everyone experiences homesickness, but it varies for different people. For most people, it is of a moment when they smell or see something familiar to home, and sometimes when they are sick or upset about something. When we like where we are in general and are mentally healthy, we’ll find a way to cope with that feeling. It is when a student is not happy with the school or friends, that homesickness gets magnified.</p>
<p>Our older daughter was very close to us. We did a lot of things as a family - had meals together, traveled, watched TV. She was very happy at her school and loved friends she was making, she didn’t have time to be homesick. Sometimes during meal time, she would call and let us know that she missed us. Few times when she was very sick, she wished I was around to take care of her.</p>
<p>I think for our older D, the first semester was a big adjustment. She had her own room, but she felt she was surrounded by people all the time, there was never any alone time. Most American kids have their own room, they could go to their room and shut out the world. She was also very stressed because she had to do everything herself - making appts, getting various forms in on time, having time to do her laundry, going to stores. When she lived at home, she had us to remind her sometimes, and we would help out with various chores. But after few weeks, she got used to it and was a lot more independent after the first semester.</p>
<p>I would say in my experience that the worst time was about 3 weeks into the first semester. It’s still new, fun and exciting and about 3 weeks into school it becomes more routine. I noticed that for most kids it got much better after they went home the first time. The school I attended had a long weekend break about 6 weeks into the semester and most kids went home then. They found they weren’t missing much at home and settled into the college scene better after that. It really depends on the kid though.</p>
<p>I agree that there is no typical experience. I didn’t have a moment of homesickness and I went to the main campus of PSU (3 hours away) at 17. My husband did the 2+2, staying at home the first two years. And he didn’t even start college until 19, and didn’t go to the main campus until 21. And he was still homesick. </p>
<p>Everyone’s different. I suspect my daughter will be more like my husband than me, in this case.</p>
<p>I sometimes think that homesickness gets conflated with a sense of letdown about the choice of school. After a few weeks/months, new students realize that their ‘dream school’ and ‘first choice’ isn’t nirvana - and a few start to wonder if they made the right decision and if perhaps they should transfer. A lot of that ‘transfer-talk’ is just a form a home-sickness. When S came back from school for Thanksgiving, he mentioned that a few freshman were already talking about transferring to another school: When we talked it over, we decided that some of this was simply homesickness in a more acceptable social mode (this was mostly guys he was talking about - not sure if that was a coincidence or not). By second semester, those who had been expressing doubts, had stopped talking about transferring. I think it was home-sickness playing itself out. Once they had ‘settled in’ the doubts about the school itself evaporated, leading me to believe that we’d been correct in diagnosing it as homesickness in another form.</p>
<p>I never experienced homesickness, but I do recall feeling a profound sense of alienation at the end of my first semester of college when they stuck a Christmas tree in every single building and one on top of the tallest building on campus. The little two-dollar menorah they had for the Jewish kids didn’t hold a proverbial candle to all the other stuff.</p>
<p>I was never homesick. Missed my BF but I think the biggest key is meeting people and getting involved in things. You will re-create your comfort zone more quickly if you do. If step-S was homesick we didn’t know it… But boy did I miss him!</p>
<p>89wahoo is right. Make an effort to meet people quickly in the first week or so. If you feel lost and lonely, there are certainly others who feel the same way. My S says his big regret in his freshman year was not getting out of his apartment enough during orientation (the week before school started). At that time, everyone was out looking to make friends. When classes started the next week, doors were closed and the kids were in study mode.<br>
He did, however, join the marching band which allowed him to meet others with the same interest in music. So, join a club or organization right away!</p>
<p>My S is not the type who would admit to being homesick but I could tell
he was when he’d call us out of the blue to “check in”. It also helps to
have a set schedule to call your family - like every Sunday night.
He is entering his junior year of college and his now a little sad that his college experience is half over. </p>
<p>Look forward to a lot of growth in your freshman year. It’s an exciting time for you!</p>
<p>It is also important to know that “homesickness” will happen your whole life. When I am gone on business trips, even as a 46-year old professional, I still have periods of homesickness. That is normal, and healthy. It does not keep me from leaving, it does not keep me from doing my job, and it does not impact my sleep. But I miss my family and my own home! </p>
<p>For some people, college is the first time that they are really away and expected to function independently. The key is recognizing it for what it is, and finding ways to manage it. If you have difficulty, seek assistance. Sometimes homesickness can become debilitating, and it does not have to. ESPECIALLY in college, where there are professionals to help you get through it!!</p>
<p>Planning TO be homesick would be strange. Being aware that it can happen, and having some idea of what to do about it – just in case – is smart. It can mean the difference between a temporary condition and a chronic one.</p>
<p>D2 didn’t suffer from homesickness until she got sick. When you’re sick at home, you lay on the couch with the dog and a blanket and Mom brings you everything you need. NOT the same when you’re by yourself in a dorm room!</p>
<p>Also want to add for some people it is the opposite of letdown about the school. </p>
<p>Some people who didn’t go to their dream school go to a college they weren’t excited about but then discover they actually LOVE the school they’re at and get pleasantly surprised. This was my case too.</p>