This is my fifth day at HOSA Nationals. I’m absolutely miserable. The competition is hype, and the people here are cool, but my own chapter’s members have been bullying me since day 1. I’m currently crying on my hotel room. Any advice on how to get through this?
I am so sorry to hear that this is where things are for you.
Has your relationship with your chapter’s members always been this way? Has something recently happened to upset the balance of what may have already been a tenuous or strained unity within your chapter?
When I read the mission of the organization at the website, I see this, “The rapidly changing health care system needs dedicated workers who, in addition to their technical skills, are people-oriented and capable of playing a leadership or followership role as a member of a health care team.”
Is there some position you are being pushed to take against your will, and the strength of the skills and contributions that earned you a place in the chapter?
Again, I am sorry that this is happening in your life. How long will you be there?
Thank you so much for responding.
No, it’s never been this bad before. I don’t really know a lot of the people here, as only a couple of my friends made it, and they got put into different rooms than me. I’m supposed to be the treasurer next year, but I don’t think that’s why they’re doing any of this. Just a lot closer together, since we have to travel in groups. I’ll be there for a couple more days, but it’s getting worse.
“HOSA’s goal is to encourage all health science instructors and students to join and be actively involved in the HSE-HOSA Partnership.”
From what you say, clearly the other students are violating the “partnership” aspects of the organization. By isolating yourself in your room, seeking refuge, you are also losing the great opportunity to participate in, and strengthen, the partnerships of your chapter with other chapters, within the larger organization.
“HOSA provides a unique program of leadership development, motivation,…”
Clearly, you are stripped of the motivation to continue at this precise moment, but don’t let your team members rob you of the opportunity to exercise your leadership development and place that on display. You owe it to yourself to stare them in the face, take your place and find and do what you went there to do.
Where is your faculty advisor? Please tell me the advisor is not complicit in this. Again, from the website, “HSE instructors are committed to the development of the total person.”
Your faculty advisor has a duty to you in this situation. Have you reached out?
I want to tell you to look them in the eye, smile and keep doing what you went there to do, but I recognize how demoralizing and frightening these moments can feel.
I will tell you to remember your own worth, though, and try really hard to fake the courage you need to go back out there and do what you went there to do.
Not every one of those kids is really as strong in their commitment to hold you at the periphery as you may think. Some of them are bullies, some of them are following the bullies (which makes them cowards), and some of them are hoping the bully does not turn on them, thereby putting them at the outskirts.
Do you think you can go back out, and maybe mingle with other chapter members?
I’m a grade under almost everyone who qualified, but it’s not just a “he’s slightly younger than everyone” so of thing. I used to get alone with some of these people (at least at a club level). I genuinely don’t know why they’re doing this.
Please try to find your faculty/chapter advisor and mingle.
I take it you are feeling picked on, and that there may be an age-related aspect to the situation. You cannot change that difference about you and the others. That is immutable, unchangeable, and if it is part of what they have sensed is a vulnerability for you, may simply give them some small ammunition in their small-mindedness.
May I ask, are you the only male representing your chapter? Are you one of a few, and surrounded by older girls who are doing this?
Are there elements of gender or sexuality issues that the bullying group may have latched onto as a reason to exercise their small-mindedness?
Either way, the approach is still going to have to be one of those I’ve mentioned before if you are going to survive this with your sanity intact.
There may always be people who decide they do not like you for reasons that have far more to do with them than with you. That is something which may motivate them to exclude or deny you, but you must not let that be reason enough - ever- for you to give them permission to act that way toward you.
Please reach out to your chapter advisor.
Definitely reach out to your advisor so they can keep an eye out for the bullying. This is a school sponsored activity so they need to make sure there is no bullying.