<p>DS (age 21) will be spending a few days with his girlfriend and her family over spring break. He has never met her parents and has only been dating her for a couple of months. But he will not be going to their house; they are renting a place in a resort area for the week. He is trying to figure out if he should a) bring a gift b) offer to pay for a meal or c) send something to their home after the trip. I’m guessing “b” or “c” - what do you think? Any suggestions for him?
Thanks!</p>
<p>If he’s not staying at their home, and they’ve only been dating a very short time, I’d suggest he just offer to pay for his meal, and GF’s meal. Or the whole meal if he’s financially able. I couldn’t imagine taking money from a newly graduated ( or still in school) “kid”. Treating our kids and their friends is really fun and we enjoy doing so. If any of them had insisted on wanting to pay, I guess we’d allow it, but it would feel odd. </p>
<p>IMO, the best gift he can bring is his good manners and good conversation 
I’m sure the parents will appreciate that.</p>
<p>I would suggest a NICE thank you note upon his return. If he gets a nice picture of something on the trip, he could send it along as well.</p>
<p>If they are renting a condo or apartment like dwelling for the week a nice bunch of mixed flowers might be a welcomed and appropriate gift. </p>
<p>Or some sort of snack basket? Something everyone can munch on that week like dried fruit & nuts or sweets.</p>
<p>I would say a, and a nice thank you note afterwards.</p>
<p>A note or at most flowers (not really expensive ones) afterwards, and offer to help as appropriate during the stay. (Dishes, or whatever.) I’d say go with his gut.</p>
<p>Showing up with a bouquet, if the hostess is already settled and not having to figure out what to do with it while she unpacks would be an alternative. Or if his girlfriend is also 21, maybe a bottle of wine, assuming the family drinks.</p>
<p>When my S first met and stayed with his then gf’s family in Ohio, he sent them a Juniors cheesecake ahead of time that arrived just before he got there. We’re from NY and they both attend school in the city. When his gf came and stayed with us she brought homemade buckeyes which are candies that I had never had or heard of before. </p>
<p>I really liked the idea that each brought something native to the area they were from bc they were sharing a part of themselves.</p>
<p>I thought this family was going on VACATION, and renting a house in a resort area. That being the case, schlepping flowers, or sending something BEFORE the trip wouldn’t be my choice! </p>
<p>I would suggest chipping in to help while he is there (dishes, etc) and then sending a nice note after returning. If he wants to include a small gift, that is fine, but I think unnecessary.</p>
<p>We are hosting a friend of DD’s. DD stayed at their home last year (and wrote them a very nice thank you note). I really hope this friend of DD’s does NOT feel she needs to give us a gift. It is completely innecessary. A nice thank you note is fine.</p>
<p>Thanks, guys. I think based on what you’ve suggested - a nice note after and possibly some flowers sent home if they’ve done a lot for him/them over the week. If the situation was reversed, I personally would not accept a student’s offer to pay for a dinner out, though I’d appreciate the gesture.</p>
<p>I would have him bring some type of food item. It can be as easy as a large mason jar filled with jelly belly - jelly beans or something like pistachio nuts. I would have him put it in a small gift bag. I think it is always good manners to bring a little something.</p>
<p>If this is too complicated, he could also bring a box of godiva chocolates he picks up at the airport.</p>