<p>Why is it that a group of people who choose a profession which allows them to guide and shape young minds ends up with a small subset who never outgrew high school politics. Why are these adults so into favourtism? Why don’t they see the kids who are brown-nosers? You would think a 50+ year old adult would recognise the Eddie Haskell type kids, but there are a few in every school who don’t. From small to large, from public to private, no matter how good or bad the school, there always seem to be some teachers who are amazing and outstanding and make a difference in our kids lives and they are frequently resented by the ones who don’t do those things. :mad:</p>
<p>My D had a staff member with a huge amount of power over her for 3 grades of high school- the woman has blatant favourites every year, if your D is a favourite, then life could not be better…if your D is one of the disliked kids, then life is hell in many tiny ways which could not really be documented/proven/etc. People who retaliate and use their power in this way are smart enough to do it in ways which are very difficult to prove if one has not experienced it, the complainer sounds like sour grapes. </p>
<p>When attending a reunion, 3 years after my D graduated, I heard more than half a dozen former students and moms comment as to how pleased they were they avoided talking to this woman, yet heard equally as many wax enthusiastic about all the things she did for them.</p>
<p>My D & her good friend were not favourites, but my best friend’s D was and what a huge difference in day to day stories. Why does a person like this want to work with kids? </p>
<p>I recall other teachers from other schools who also took out their personal agendas on the kids, how cruel they were. I would like to think that teachers would not want to fall into the “popular” crowd attitude, but I have seen some kids really hurt to be excluded by a teacher who was living vicariously through the popular crowd, year after year she would do this.</p>
<p>“Taping people without their permission is generally not a good idea.”</p>
<p>Is it not a good idea because it might violate certain rights of the teacher, or is it not a good idea for the student to document the abusive behavior of the teacher? </p>
<p>On this issue, would you support the idea of having every class taped for the purpose of evaluating the performance of the teacher and ascertain the level of participation and discipline of the students? Could it work in the same way as the cameras installed on the dashboard of police cruisers that provide an unbiased account of what really happens? Cameras are widely used in the workplace: banks, convenience and department stores, and many public places have them. </p>
<p>For some reason, I have no doubt that many teachers must resent the explosion of cell phones that have silent video capabilities. Obviously, the question remains why would teachers object to having their performance recorded for posterity in the first place?</p>
<p>wharfrat: >>> I don’t necessarily disagree with this. I think it can also be true in the sciences. (especially chem and physics) Social Studies teachers such as myself however, seem to have achieved pedagogical perfection. <<<<</p>
<p>So… how about you (and other pedagogically perfect teachers) teaching some of those skills to some of those science and math teachers???</p>
<p>We just got some bad news today… Our wonderful pre-cal, cal, & AP Cal teacher is being reassigned to teach algebra!!! How crazy is that!!! There are more math teachers who can easily teach algebra than there are that can teach those higher level math classes. I am concerned that the “replacement” for these higher math classes won’t nearly be as good!!! (the teacher is rightfully very upset!! She has done an awesome job!!)</p>
<p>At a level, if there is a teacher you clash with, there’s nothing you can do.</p>
<p>At the same time, a necessary skill in high school (and most likely college) is to be able to make teachers like you. Does it seem ridiculous and contrary to academics by academic ability?</p>
<p>Of course. But the reality is, especially in subjective grading, a student MUST have the ability to make a teacher like him or her, or else expect extreme difficulties. It also applies to objective subjects, such as math, as teachers are more likely to make accomodations to students who they like.</p>
<p>If it is racism or some other uncontrollable discriminatory factor, of course, it should be reported and dealt with. If it is simply like or dislike, however, I think that for the most part it should be part of a student’s skills, along with study habits and the like, to be able to be endearing to a teacher.</p>
<p>Wrong or not, it is an inevitable and real part of high school academics.</p>
<p>Schools are, first and foremost, places where teachers are employed. We’ve experienced both public and private schools and in both we have found it exceedingly rare for a teacher to be fired. There are always a few stinkers, some of whom are abusive to the point of damaging students. Last year we went up against a particularly bad one at our private high school, to no avail. I have finally concluded that experiencing both good and bad teachers is just part of growing up.</p>
<p>ctymomteacher-Why was selection for NHS left up to one teacher? I would be very angry about the process that left the decision in the hands of one teacher. Every where I have taught (granted only 2 schools in twenty years) there was a faculty committee that did not include the NHS sponsors who chose new inductees. In addition, that same committee met to determine punishment for NHS members who committed violations of NHS standards of conduct and character.</p>
<p>It wasn’t. But the teacher in question and the principal–who has final say–were both part of the good old boy and girl circle at that school, and they worked in concert to blackball him. We know this because of a not very subtle remartk made to him by one of the “outsiders” who is an outstanding teacher but not one of the locals at the school.
The decision sabout NHS at the school are made by a “secret committee.” It’s all pretty bad, but it still hurt him deeply. The only thing that got me through it without making a public mess was the fact that he received the largest scholarship in his graduating class. She refused to announce it at the awards ceremony. But everyone still gasped when another teacher did so. </p>
<p>And to somemom, teachers like those you describe teach because they NEED the personal emotional feeding they get from the students they choose to like. I knew some like that even at the university level. It’s pretty sick, but it’s where the NHS advisor who asked my son how to make her students like her was coming from, and he knew it. That’s what got him in trouble for answering honestly that she needed to maintain some professional distance. (Don’t ask me why she would even ask him to begin with–even some of her colleagues have said she’s a bag of doorknobs.)</p>
<p>Allorian, I agree with you that its an important life skill to learn how to deal with people in authority who are unfair, arbitrary or hostile. However, I think the real skill is not to make the teacher like you but to make the teacher respect you. The respect part is probably why my kids could stand up to teachers in high school and still get A’s in their class – in a way, my kids had succeeded in getting the don’t mess with me message across.</p>
<p>With some teachers - and some kids - the like part is easier to accomplish. When my daughter was in elementary school she had a teacher who clearly played favorites, and didn’t like my d. – until my d. started playing the buttering-up game, making little “I love my teacher” cards & thank you notes, etc. It worked, and my d. enjoyed the power she got from playing that game… but the problem with that approach to life is that you can easily fall out of favor, too. </p>
<p>In middle school, my d had a teacher who was one of the best teachers she had ever had acedemically - the teacher was very demanding and hard working. However the teacher was also constantly harping on and criticizing certain students in class, in a very hurtful way; for example, always making fun of poor spelling of one boy who was obviously dyslexic. The teacher also wanted the kids to keep daily journals and then turn the journal in for the teacher to read, so my daughter started writing about all the negative hurtful things the teacher was saying to others. Some other kids started doing the same thing. Well, the teacher was very upset and accused my daughter of inciting the other students, and turning them all against her – you can see the truth of ctymomteacher’s comment about some teachers thriving on the attention of their favorites. </p>
<p>Verbal abuse is usually all about exerting control over others – the abuser will continue as long as the tactics are effective. If the tactics are ineffective, then sometimes the abuser will react in anger, but sometimes the abuser will back off and simply find another target. It really works that way no matter what the context – the problem with teachers is simply that they are ordinary human beings put in a position of authority and control over a large number of children. Very small kids are highly vulnerable – in high school the tables start to turn, but that can result in more conflict when teachers feel emotionally threatened by teenagers who are not so willing to accept unfairness or favoritism.</p>
<p>Has anyone experienced a teacher that has exhibited hostility towards one sex in the classroom? I recently had a thread about a bad experience my son had with a teacher (she had said some inappropriate things to him). We have since learned that this teacher seems to target boys and openly favors the girls. </p>
<p>What have any of you experienced? And how was it handled?</p>
<p>Yes, yes, yes. My daughter has a science teacher who clearly favors the boys. He is not rude to girls, but he only is chatty and engaging with the boys, thus giving some girls the impression that they don’t belong in science. My son encountered an English teacher who openly told the girls that their grades would be better if they wore shorter skirts…and some actually DID! We have also had a couple of teachers who just didn’t like our kids for one reason or other (well, I suspect the reason in those cases.)</p>
<p>Sadly, I don’t think there is anything you can do to improve these situations except to provide encouragement and remediation. I have found that while school administrators have been sympathetic, teachers’ unions are usually roadblocks to any meaningful change. Of course, scrupulous documentation helps if you have to go to a higher level with the problem. The biggest impediment, however, was parents who complalined amongst themselves but refused to make any formal complaint. Thus, even though we have kept daily logs of classroom events (which can be helpful), it seems like you are the only one with a problem, which translates into “personality conflict”.</p>
<p>According to a friend’s mom (who’s also a powerful member of the PTA–the president??), even though tenured teachers are protected in certain ways, it’s very helpful to write a letter of complaint to the school board if a teacher is as horrible as some of the ones described here. Your one letter will not get the teacher fired, but if you encourage others in the same class to write letters, they all go into the file and the file builds bit by bit (even year by year). If a teacher gets a certain number of complaints, the school board really can’t ignore the problem or suggest that the problem is just coming from a ‘personality conflict’ or individual problems with one student. A build-up of complaints can have an effect on even tenured teachers. My school’s policy might not be the same as those in your schools, but keep in mind that it always helps to speak out somehow. Also, my friend’y mom made it seem that even complaints at the end of the year (for fear of grade-changes/extra hostility) would help since it’s the whole file that matters. </p>
<p>Good luck…and remember that your children will get through it.</p>
<p>My eighth-grade daughter has a teacher who not only favors certain boys, but she seems to actually flirt with them. I’ve seen it myself and it is WEIRD.</p>
<p>I believe it! I had a nun in the 8th grade who heavily favored (flirted? maybe!) with the boys. She had been raised by grandparents who owned a candy store. Every week she’d bring in boxes of candy and ONLY give them to the boys. It was a time when “long hair” was “in” for boys. The school was strict about boys’ hair length so she would help keep the boys out of trouble by snipping off the hair that went past their collars to keep them out of detention.</p>
<p>She was the only teacher that my parents ever confronted because her bias was so obvious (my bro had her 2 years earlier so my parents already knew that she favored boys).</p>
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