<p>How have you dealt with high school teachers who demonstrate a deep seated disrespect or arrogance toward students? Favoritism? Teaching requires altruistism; the ability to take pleasure in the fact that many of your students will attain more formal education than your own.
I have seen this mostly in math and science. Often parents are either intimidated by their poor understanding of the subject matter or afraid to complain, as it might effect child’s grade.
How have you dealt with difficult teachers? What have you accomplished by
intervening?</p>
<p>Our family tried to deal with it and achieved nothing whatsoever. I attribute that failure to the fact that we live in a provincial town and our son attended a high school staffed at least 50% by people who actually graduated from that school. These people had their own agenda to run and ran it well. Even some of the faculty from “elsewhere” told him that he had been on the receiving end of “political” decisions. There was nothing we could do but wait for him to get out. (He’s out now and extremely happy at Tulane.) I wish you a better experience. </p>
<p>Thank God for outside-of-school educational opportunities.</p>
<p>We live in a well-heeled town, with excellent public schools. But we certainly have a few teachers like that, from kindergarten all the way to 12th. </p>
<p>My son’s Math teacher is very hostile to a girl in his class. He is insulting and demoralizes the kid (11th grade) at every opportunity. Granted, the girl is very weak in Math, but this is a CP level, and he is doing wonders for her confidence 
Her parents have taken it to the highest level, and there is stonewalling and denial to the top. She stopped going to the class, and is learning from private tutors, but then they got a letter home in the mail, that she would not be able to graduate if she cut Math class everyday!!!</p>
<p>My son has a hostile teacher, who only stops at his desk, every single day, to loudly point out his mistakes. She walks down the aisles, does not even glance at anyone else’s work, but will make it her duty to spend 3 minutes at his desk. Aaaarrgh.</p>
<p>The teacher is a b**** from h***. We have done nothing about it, respecting me S’s wishes. He is able to pull a B+ in the class in spite of her, and has too much love around him to let an inconsequential creature affect him. The year will be over soon.</p>
<p>maybe students who have hostile teachers should bring small recorders into the classrooms with them and record the hostility. If this became a common practice those kind of teachers would be less likely to be verbally hostile to students.</p>
<p>My daughter had a teacher like that - also a math teacher – and basically she stood up to him and called him on his abusive comments. For example, one time he made a cutting remark to her as she came into class, but she knew the vice-principal was standing right outside the door – so she responded very loudly, “did you just call me a ‘loser’, Mr. H? That’s not very nice!!” She’d also make an issue of it if he insulted others – same thing: “Why did you call Jane an idiot? That must really hurt her feelings!” </p>
<p>My d. was in 9th grade and I got into a big tiff with my ex. over that - he had heard from other parents that this teacher had a reputation for getting more abusive as the year went on, and he was afraid that the teacher would give my d. poor grades, ruining her chances at college, etc. I said that the only way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him (or her) – and I supported my d. & would encourage her to keep right on. I’d note that my d. was using verbal responses that are appropriate to the situation - repeating back the exact words used and saying that her feelings were hurt, or that she was offended, rather than responding with another insult or shouting. </p>
<p>What ended up happening is that the abuse didn’t stop, but a significant number of kids realized that they could stand up for themselves, and of course the teacher quit targetting those particular students. There was no chance of learning anything in that classroom, so my daughter would often leave class to work in the school library. The school vp called me once about my daughter’s cutting class that way -as soon as I ascertained that it was only happening during math class, I said that I supported my d’s decision to remove herself from an abusive environment. The vp acknowledged that she was aware of problems with that teacher, and essentially didn’t bother my daughter again. </p>
<p>My d. ended up with an A in the class – it was math, she did her homework, she passed her tests. It might have been a bigger problem in a class with more subjective grading- but with math, fortunately, there’s not much room for debate. On the other hand, my son had an english & history teacher that he had a lot of conflict with, but he also got good grades because the teacher had a very strict grading rubric, and my son just made sure that he met all of the academic requirements to the letter. </p>
<p>I’m not recommending that parents push their kids in this direction: it takes a strong-willed, confident kid to stand up to an abusive adult. </p>
<p>The problem is that in public schools it can be very hard for the administration to get rid of a teacher, even when there are a lot of complaints.</p>
<p>As a teacher let me begin by saying there is NO EXCUSE for a teacher being verbally abusive to a student. It is unacceptable in my opinion.</p>
<p>On the other side of the same coin it is equally unacceptable for any student or parent to be verbally abusive toward teachers. Fortunately I have only had 1 or 2 personal experiences like this. I have observed or heard of many more. Teachers are in a very difficult position in conferences in that we have a responsibility to be professional in our dealings with parents and students. (Justifiably so) Parents however have no such obligation when it comes to their behavior with teachers.</p>
<p>Homeschooling is how I deal with it. When I was in high school I noticed that the teachers seemed to play favorites. Many teachers were not that bright, but seemed to like the power/control they had over students. I wouldn’t want my kid to be held back/defined by small town politics or a teacher’s mood of the moment. . .</p>
<p>"…there is NO EXCUSE for a teacher being verbally abusive to a student. On the other side of the same coin it is equally unacceptable for any student or parent to be verbally abusive toward teachers. Fortunately I have only had 1 or 2 personal experiences like this. … "</p>
<p>I agree. Teachers must be respectful and students must be respectful… A teacher friend of mine recently told a class that she is retiring. A student responded (rudely), “Did you get fired?”. </p>
<p>There was a time when children and teens would never even think to speak to an adult in such a way!!! </p>
<p>I admit that I have lost my temper (I did not yell, but got sarcastic) when during a conference a teacher blatantly lied to me. I would not say that teachers are always “professional” during conferences with parents.</p>
<p>lovetoparents, apparently kids have done that before but apparently doing that is ILLEGAL… the school Principal said so, so obviously it has to be right. :P</p>
<p>Hostility doesn’t belong in a teacher student relationship. I would suggest to most students to discuss their concern with the teacher after class or on the side. Challenging teachers in front of a class of students rarely works. The same strategy works well for teachers with students…address the concern when it doesn’t become a battle of pride in front of their friends.</p>
<p>Severe problems should be documented with date, time, witnesses and should go to the principal, and then if need be to the district. Taping people without their permission is generally not a good idea.</p>
<p>I had a HS Math teacher who didn’t appreciate my decision of going to US for education and wanted me to go to IITs. So she would basically say at every point how i’m the greates fool ever for doing this and stuff like that. I bore it till January i think. One day, she again told me how mistaken I was…and I told her how she was just plin dumb and parochial, walked out and complained to the principal. The teacher was advised, and she’s not been making any swipes since then. Pro’lly not hte righ thing to do, but it was very frustrating.</p>
<p>Must be something with Math teachers. My S is going thru this right now. His Alg.2 teacher was fine the first quarter, stayed out the entire second quarter on maternity leave and since her return has been awful. He says she just walks around the classes yelling and refuses to answer questions (always tells them to just read their notes).
Just got a progress report and S is failing her class!
This was such a shock. Tests count for 50% of grade. They have only had one test the whole 4th quarter on 4/27 and she has never returned the test. So he had no idea he had failed the test. Half of the class is failing. Teacher must be getting desperate because now she is offering Saturday morning review sessions for next 2 weeks. S says it will be pointless to go as he has been to afterschool tutoring sessions with this teacher and so many kids show up that she spends the whole time just yelling at them. Sheesh…school can’t end fast enough. I 'm just hoping for a miracle at this point.</p>
<p>Our family tried to deal with it and achieved nothing whatsoever.</p>
<p>and My d. ended up with an A in the class – it was math, she did her homework, she passed her tests. It might have been a bigger problem in a class with more subjective grading- but with math, fortunately, there’s not much room for debate. On the other hand, my son had an english & history teacher that he had a lot of conflict with, but he also got good grades because the teacher had a very strict grading rubric, and my son just made sure that he met all of the academic requirements to the letter…</p>
<p>In summary, nothing generally changes for future students. Our s or d
survives, the grade seems paramount. Sometimes we back away at our
child’s request. My experience has been that the administration is generally not helpful. In one case d had to attend local community college because AP calculus course was not offered. One teacher persisted in marking her absent. Another teacher “physics” locked his door if a student was more than five minutes late, against school policy. D was stressed to severe anxiety about staying for tutorials at the college, for fear of punitive action, threatened not marching in graduation for lateness; and this is second semester senior year.
Second semester college calculus is demanding and the tutorials constituted an important element of the class. Is there some solution
for future students? Maybe an ombudsman could be appointed from the community. This individual could impartially listen and attempt to resolve disputes. Two year tenure was challenged in California. It was
not changed to five. I have a problem with tenure, but am willing to hear other views. Tenure was intended to protect a diversity of views,
not the hostile or incompetant teacher.</p>
<p>“I admit that I have lost my temper (I did not yell, but got sarcastic) when during a conference a teacher blatantly lied to me. I would not say that teachers are always “professional” during conferences with parents.”</p>
<p>I didn’t say all teachers are always professional during conferences. What I said is all teachers have a responsibility to remain professional. That being said in twenty years I have rarely observed an instance of a teacher who was unprofessional in the way they addressed a parent in a conference. I also think it’s inexcusable for a teacher to lie to a parent. </p>
<p>I have very few conferences with parents. I think this is for two reasons. I am very proactive in keeping parents informed about their child’s performance in my class. The other is if I make a mistake I admit I made it and do what ever is necessary to make it right. </p>
<p>Many parents on the other hand seem to feel they can say whatever they want in a conference. My way of dealing with parents who are abusive in conferences would be to simply end the conference. It has been a long time since I have had any problems with parents, so this hasn’t really been a personal issue for me. Our guidance counselors and administration are very supportive of the staff in this regard. They expect us to be fair and professional in our dealings with parents, but they also expect parents to be fair and respectful toward us in return.</p>
<p>I recently read somewhere that it is hard to find good math teachers because many of them are “book smart” but don’t always have the right personalities to “teach” and get down to kid level (with the exception of my dear friend who taught AP Calculus and was killed in a car crash last summer – she had it all – math smarts and the ability to explain math concepts in a cheerful meaningful manner!)</p>
<p>Now, before the CC faculty brings down the detention hammer on me for saying the above, I know that there ARE good math teachers out there (my kids have been blessed with several). But there just may be some truth to the thought that some math teachers are just too “book smart” and not “kid smart”.</p>
<p>“Now, before the CC faculty brings down the detention hammer on me for saying the above, I know that there ARE good math teachers out there (my kids have been blessed with several). But there just may be some truth to the thought that some math teachers are just too “book smart” and not “kid smart”.”</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily disagree with this. I think it can also be true in the sciences. (especially chem and physics) Social Studies teachers such as myself however, seem to have achieved pedagogical perfection.</p>
<p>Cute, wharfrat2, but it was an English teacher (like me) who kept my son out of NHS after he gave her an honest answer to her incredibly unprofessional question “How can I make them [my students] like me?” He suggested that she stop taking things so personally and maintain some distance. She despised him ever after, and she was and is, unfortunately, the faculty advisor for NHS at that school as well as one of the locals who control the place.</p>
<p>Please believe me when I tell you that I’m not trying to minimize your issues. In my career I have seen many questionable decisions regarding NHS selections. They involve clearly qualified kids being left out or kids who are extremely shaky chosen. For these reasons I don’t put much value in NHS as a teacher or a parent. It’s wonderful and all I guess but ten years from now who is really going to care what kid was chosen for NHS and which one wasn’t?</p>
<p>I cared because it was the first time in several years that I actually saw tears in my son’s eyes. He didn’t mean for me to see it, but it cut him deeply because he knew it was personal. Such people should not be allowed in the classroom.</p>