Recently we hosted some long time and very good friends. They showed up obviously sick- coughing, blowing noses, didn’t feel well enough to eat dinner, went to bed very early, seemed even more sick the next day. Within an a hour of arriving asked if we had Covid tests, Tylenol, Motrin, honey for coughs, hot tea. (covid tests were negative). We live in a tourist area and friends often take a trip here and move between friends’ houses in the state. We were the middle of 3 their three stops, and they live a plane ride away.
My husband and I debated in private what to do. We let them stay but encouraged them to stay out of the kitchen and to do most of socializing with us outside (nice warm weather.), and cancelled all but one activity we had planned.
As they left they said we should stay out of their room and bathroom for awhile - “”may be toxic”
Now we are both sick with all the same symptoms - 5th day of it for us.
What would you have done? We are trying to make a plan for if this happens again. We do get lots of guests. We consider ourselves to be very polite and practice good etiquette.
Also would you tell them you are sick afterwards? (We know of no one who has a respiratory illness, and we have not gone anywhere in public since before they came)
I would just put it out there ahead of time that although you would love to host them, please make arrangements to stay elsewhere if you are ill. I would not hesitate to let your recent guests know that you both fell ill after they left with same symptoms. Communication is always key!
Well, some of us have no way to isolate sick guests, yet still have overnight visitors. My SIL’s live 4 and 10 hours away, they stay here frequently, we have 1 1/2 baths, and our rooms are small. They grew up in this house, they’re always welcome. My college students have out if state friends stay here frequently. It never occurred to me that our home is not appropriate for overnight guests due to size.
Height of inconsiderate and rude to make the decision unilaterally that it was okay to show up this ill. That should have been the host’s call. We don’t have friends that would have done this even pre-Covid. Tests can move from negative to positive, so one negative may not tell the story.
For the future:
Spell out your criteria in advance to guests. I’d tell everyone that we are very cautious given all the long lasting viruses that are in circulation now and our circumstances; we appreciate their understanding. My circumstances: over 65 and prefer not to be sick.
Things can come on fast and unexpected; keep good cleaning supplies and air out house as much as possible.
I’d have considered suggesting alternative lodging for them and sent them off with disinfectant wipes as a courtesy. If they stayed nearby, I’d drop off food and run errands. Maybe sit on porch for brief periods.
Sorry you were faced with this.
I’m not sure what I would do. A friend I have not seen for years was about to come and that day came down with covid and cancelled.
I guess the alternative is for you to leave the house for a few days and leave the house to them. Then disinfect and air upon return. I think at that point MAYBE they will get the message and leave?
I would have asked as a guest if you came down with the illness. Some people don’t want to know.
I hope I would have had the guts to tell them to stay at the nearest hotel. It was incredibly inconsiderate of them to even show up at your door.
Absolutely tell them you got sick. And in the same communication you should let them know in no uncertain terms that for future visits they will not be welcome if they are ill.
I would let your guests know that you got sick. It’s extremely inconsiderate of them to show up sick. They should have made alternative arrangements. I would never host them again. For future guests I would request that in case they get sick in time for travel they will stay at the hotel. I hope you feel better soon
I’ve never had it happen, most people I know would probably offer to get a hotel room. However, I guess we’ve been risky in having overnight guests who could’ve possibly become sick during the time they were staying here. If that happened, oh well, stinks for us. We’ve raised 5 children so we are pretty used to germs. If someone was coming to visit and we had illness in the family, we would of course let them know and it would be their choice.
ETA I’m really very good about trying not to spread illness. I came down with a nasty respiratory infection over winter break, mentioned it in a friend group text, one of my friend’s daughter is a close friend of dd22. She then texted that a large amount of people were scheduled to pregame at my house that night. I immediately reached out to my daughter to make different plans, I didn’t care about myself, would’ve just gone to my room, but I didn’t want to expose others to my crud.
Our S had planned to visit us on our trip when we were in Okinawa and we told him e we’re both coughing and suggested he made other plans—he did. We masked and as far as we know managed to confine our illness to ourselves, not sharing if with the tour group. We were healthy when we left HI. I would not travel to someone’s home if I was sick and felt I may be contagious. I would not welcome an ill houseguest either.
I guess if you did not know they were sick- and they showed up sick at your door and you realized it after they put their foot in the door and their suitcases, how do you handle it?
While it was definitely a crappy and inconsiderate thing for them to do…could they have known your house layout and figured they could sort of isolate? (still doesn’t make it ok).
If it was an emergency situation/visit MAYBE I could be more understanding (like they were coming for a funeral or an important health appt at one of your city’s health facilities or something - grasping at straws here…) but overall I’d have to wonder in addition to being clueless of common courtesy, if they were also either cheap - or couldn’t afford a hotel.
Yeah, I think I’d be tempted to send a text saying “hope you got home safely, H and I are hunkered down now with some sort of virus too!”
I guess, I’d tell them they’d need to book other lodging as H and I are very susceptible to infections that persist a very long time and are unable to host ill guests. I’d also never invite them to stay again for not having the courtesy of informing us before showing up.
I would definitely send them a text knowing that you and your H caught the illness right away and have been sick with it for five days and counting. Clueless, inconsiderate people need to be told.
I’m so sorry you were put in that position! Your friends should have told you they were sick and gone to a hotel. Incredibly inconsiderate, and I agree that you should let them know that you are ill now too.
If it were me, I have the room to isolate guests so I would have handed them masks and told them they needed to stay in their room unless we were able to socialize outside. If I didn’t have room, I’d give them the name of the nearest hotel.
And yes, stuff happens and an otherwise well person could get sick while visiting, but IMO that’s different. Arriving knowing you are sick with no heads up to the hosts is just not OK.
I would say my health (or in the past, my mother’s) meant that I/we needed to avoid getting sick as much as possible and I would offer to pay for a hotel. I would of course hope they would go to a hotel but not take me up on my offer to pay!