This is a great thread!
When we were in our early 30s we were in a supper club. It lasted in various iterations for about eight or nine years. It’s interesting because we all had young-ish children. Honestly, that seemed to make scheduling easier because everyone looked forward to a grown-up evening and worked hard to make it happen. We had six couples and met once a month. We alternated hosting in our homes and going out. On the going out months, one of the couples hosted a happy hour beforehand with light appetizers. This assured that if anyone was late, they were late to happy hour rather than to the restaurant. So, each couple hosted twice a year - one happy hour prior to dining out and one meal in their home. For the meals in home, the hosts provided the main dish and drinks. The other couples each brought something. Everyone did this differently. Some would want specific dishes prepared, some would have a theme, some would just list “I need salad, side, dessert, starch, and appetizer” and we each just claimed a course. If a couple could not come to an in-home meal, the hosts were free to invite another couple of their choosing. We never added folks for the dining out months though, as 12 was a large group for eating out to begin with. It all worked beautifully until there was, ummmm, an extramarital situation between two couples! Supper Club carried on without those two couples (one divorced, one didn’t for those who are interested) for awhile, but slowly died a rather painful death. One of the remaining of the four couples were kind of obnoxious, so we sometimes had secret supper club.
Later in life we were part of a wine club for a couple of years. Those were always in home. Dh and I were later additions to that group. It evolved into more of wine and FOOD club, which some people didn’t care for. It eventually fell apart as well. Some of the people were more serious about the wine tasting aspect than others. There were also some secret wine club meetings that occurred after the larger group broke up.
For us personally as a couple - We used to always do a large college football gathering (40 +) people once a year. We have had Christmas parties throughout the years but not consistently. For girly events, gatherings I have hosted in the past and enjoyed are mom happy hours, group care package assembly (when all our kids were in college), ornament swap parties at Christmas, and Miss America Watch Parties (everyone has to wear a crown!).
We have done a major downsize and can no longer do large scale entertaining in our condo. We have done a “sips and suds” type happy hour where everyone brings wine or beer and apps to share. But, more than a dozen people would be too many, even with a “stand-up” party. I can only seat six for a true dinner party, and it would be tight.
I used to struggle with perfectionism a lot. I’ve gotten better in my old age. In my opinion, there is a distinction between “entertaining” and “hospitality.” I used to be overly focused on the former. Now I try to focus on the latter. I felt compelled to do everything myself, it had to be perfectly prepared, and presented, etc. I’ve moved past that, and we are much more casual than we used to be, and I am thrilled to let others bring food to share. Sometimes I still like to do it all because I want to do that for my friends - to provide them with an evening where they don’t have to do anything. But, even then I focus on the friendship and fellowship much more than the food.
I just wanted to throw out one thing that we have started doing that has been a GREAT way for us to socialize - TRIVIA NIGHT! We have a local pub that hosts trivia one night a week. We have five couples who potentially participate. I send out a text the morning of to get a head count. Dh and I usually go over a bit early to get our table. Sometimes we have all ten, sometimes only four. Once, just the two of us. Sometimes folks have friends or family in from out of town. If we are going to have more then ten, we split into two teams. At any rate, it’s super fun, and everyone has different areas of knowledge so everyone contributes. We are a pretty competitive lot! We’ve also met some of the players from the other “regulars.” I just thought I’d throw that out there if folks are looking for something new and different to do.
