<p>So… my essay goes like:</p>
<p>I suddenly moved to the U.S. in my 10th grade year and did not know virtually anything about English and stuff.
For some reason(that I do not want to post here), there was a change in my mindset that made me enjoy learning. (The reason should be strong… I am not sure if I wrote it strongly enough…)
I have become positive and perseverant from such change that I have had for 2 years since I came to the U.S.</p>
<ul>
<li>The end</li>
</ul>
<p>I dont think what I have done is getting nerdy… but it may look like so… that’s why I said so in the thread’s title…</p>
<p>It IS true that I slacked and hated studying before coming to U.S… Transcript definitely shows that I was a mediocre(well, still not excellent compared to other CC’ers T.T) student before I came here(3.1 GPA in Korea, 4.0 UW in U.S.) and my SAT score is not that bad considering that I have lived here only for 2 years… </p>
<p>Ahh… but I am worried that my currently incomplete essay is talking only about how hard I studied… I havent yet got to say that I got positive and perseverant but I think I will talk about it for only one paragraph…</p>
<p>Any advice for me??
Would this approach be OK?? Cuz the good essays I have read were like how they got mature from doing community service and stuff…</p>
<p>PS: I happen to have U.S. citizenship and one of the reasons I came over here is to get need-based aid. I briefly mentioned it on the essay to explain why I had unexpectedly to move to the United States. But would that be OK? Would it sound like I came here for money, not american dream??</p>