I am glad your daughter made some choices. As a parent of an old child, it is a hard tightrope, because we are still parents, but we also are realizing they are moving towards being adult and we don’t want to be seen as helicoptering in or hovering or interfering.
That said, as a parent where it involves health , emotional or otherwise, there has to be a point where we step in, albeit perhaps with some diplomacy. Lack of sleep and stress are endemic with high achieving kids but we also have to let them know that proper sleep is not negotiable.
It is one thing for a kid to be interested in a lot of things, it is another for them to be doing them because they think they need it for admissions (quite honestly, the idea of EC’s has been so distorted by many of these schools that I don’t recognize them any more). I would point out to her that doing things that give her pleasure will likely outshine EC’s that seem to be done as EC’s. A big one of course is pointing out that there is only certain time in the day to do things and that her grades could plummet because she is that tired.
I am glad the D dropped competitive dance but does it for enjoyment, that shows an advanced ability to prioritize things.
I recently read a book about girls growing up (same guy wrote a book about boys growing up) and one of his concerns is the hyperachieving girls, whether it be academics, sports, etc, that they have set up these impossible standards for themselves, that they have to achieve.It isn’t a pretty picture (he is a clinician, a PHD psych and an MD).