How can a parent be an advisor to their student?

Colleges & Universities Brown University
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<p>I would like to be able to help my Freshman navigate the sometimes-tricky process of course (and eventually concentration) selection. I looked around here and on Brown.edu and I don’t really see much material geared towards helping parents/families understand and assist in this process. For example, we cannot see Critical Review. I’m guessing this is a great resource but I cannot access it. I have seen (and spent a lot of time in) Focal Point as well as all of the links off of the “Dean of the College” page. However, I don’t feel like I can really help as much as I would like to… Part of the frustration is that I know my student pretty well but it’s the other half of the equation (i.e. the academic side of Brown) that I’m obviously not as familiar with. Some of this is naturally the result of it being many years since I was in school and things have of course changed…</p>

<p>So, any suggestions on how I might get more informed in these areas such that I can help if asked? For example, what’s the collective wisdom on how to balance the idea of “experiment during your Freshman year” against the need to begin to think about a concentration and the courses required for it. Again, there’s some discussion of this topic on Brown.edu but I was hoping to find something more real-world and based on first-hand experience.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

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<p>Well, I think a lot of it is based on talking directly to your son/daughter. Remember that there comes a point when the student needs to start making their own decisions. You really can’t access CritReview? [Critical</a> Review Online](<a href=“Critical Review”>http://www.thecriticalreview.org/) Talk to your student about what he/she is taking next semester and try to guide the choice, but remember that in the end, it’s his/her decision.</p>

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<p>“How can a parent be an advisor to their student?”</p>

<p>They can’t really, and probably shouldn’t try. That’s just MHO.</p>

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<p>I think the best thing you can do is urge your student to take advantage of advising on campus.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the replies so far and I agree with everything but…</p>

<p>@bruno14: The rapport with my student is not as strong as I would like it to be which is part of the source of my concern. Their 1st semster grades are also of concern so I feel the need to be more involved. 1st semster was a chance for them to try to “go it on their own” but the results were troubling. The challenge is do I stay hands off (and for how long?) or try to “help”? As for Critical Review, I just tried again. I get a logon screen that is limited to students, faculty and staff… :-(</p>

<p>@Hunt: I fully agree with this one. But again, I’m worried that this won’t be leveraged as fully as it should or could be. I guess I’m trying to fill in any gaps, partly based on my own, unique knowledge of the student.</p>

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<p>I think that some of us are wavering between (a) praising you for trying to be supportive to your kid, and (b) telling you that you’re helicoptering and should back off. I guess it depends on how “troubling” the first semester grades were. If they were a couple of Bs, I’d say back off. If they were Cs and Ds, then a more hands-on approach might make sense. My understanding is that Brown has very good advising.</p>

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<p>@Hunt - Once again, I’m in full agreement. I find myself telling <em>myself</em> the same thing :slight_smile: Without going in to specifics, I do feel that some extra attention is warranted. I do hope the advising programs come through in this case! Thanks.</p>

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<p>One can access the Critical Review off campus only with a student login and password. With that said…some people swear by it. Others, myself included, find it worthless. The surveys from which this information is collected are rushed (professors tend to give only a few minutes to fill them out and departmental surveys take priority). I am not other students. I expect very different things from my professors than others do. I heard a lot of bad things about my professor for my history course last term from other students because of the way she conducted the class. I, on the other hand, really liked how the class was conducted (not reviewing the reading but discussing general themes). It was not my best class, but if I hadn’t been sick on the last day of class, I would have given it outstanding ratings. I’ve taken courses with some of the best-ranked and worst-ranked professors on campus, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the professor doesn’t make <em>that</em> much of a difference, so long as they don’t grade arbitrarily.</p>

<p>Each year, students get a paper course book in their mailbox containing the preliminary list of courses for the next year. I can also PM you a place where you can find it online.</p>

<p>More important, though, is that your child take advantage of their opportunities at Brown. The advising system is great, but the student needs to be proactive about meeting with their advisor, older students who have taken courses in fields they’re interested in, their professors, and the deans (by no means is it necessary to do all of this, but the ability to do all of these exist). There are events sophomore year concerning concentration choice, which shouldn’t be the primary focus now, although it can and should certainly be considered.</p>

<p>For what it’s worth, freshman fall (and even spring) are transition periods. For many students, it’s the first time living away from home, and for almost all, it’s a new level of social freedom, not to mention academic freedom. What worked in high school might not lead one to be successful at Brown (especially if an overwhelming courseload is chosen). A lot of my friends struggled freshman year but have gotten by a lot better since then. The Open Curriculum is also different in a way. Failure (however one defines it - I don’t just mean a grade of NC) is not necessarily a bad thing, assuming one learns from it and can do better in the future as a result. I am reminded of this opinion column in the Brown Daily Herald at this point: [</a>" + artTitle.replace(“-”,“”) + " - " + “The Brown Daily Herald” + "](<a href=“http://www.browndailyherald.com/k****ij-lauria-13-ab-using-the-open-curriculum-1.2188313]”>http://www.browndailyherald.com/k****ij-lauria-13-ab-using-the-open-curriculum-1.2188313).</p>

<p>Like the others, I’m torn here. It’s admirable that you’re so supportive, but this is generally something the child needs to do on their own. I think my parents have a vague sense of what subjects I’m taking and what my grades are, but I don’t tell them much more - I need to be the ones to make the decisions. If your child is feeling lost and has no idea why things went poorly and what to do in the future, it’s certainly acceptable to talk with them about it, but the impetus should be on the child to figure out what needs to be done. It’s important for the child to learn themselves as well as you know them, so they can make these decisions too.</p>

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<p>In general, I agree with Uroogla’s last paragraph. But I understand how hard it is as a parent to be removed.</p>

<p>I asked my daughter for her user name and password, and she gave it to me. I use it to access the Critical Review and the internet when I’m on campus. One semester I used it to look at course materials, like the syllabus, online. I was curious about one class because it was a topic I was particularly interested in – but I never used the info to keep checks on her. She probably never knew I looked because I never brought it up.</p>

<p>I’ve browsed classes on Mocha ([Welcome</a> - Mocha](<a href=“mochacourses.com - This website is for sale! - mochacourses Resources and Information.”>Loading...)), and sometimes sent her ideas for ones she might be interested in shopping. She ignores me a lot of the time, and while I wish she didn’t, that’s life. I never insisted that she take anything.</p>

<p>She also sends me a link to her Mocha shopping cart, so I can see the classes she’s shopping. Some semesters she’s called to discuss her options, and it helps for me to see what she’s considering and when they meet.</p>

<p>During Parents Weekend, there is usually a workshop on Brown advising and another on selecting a concentration. Those might be valuable for you. </p>

<p>Every department has its own website where it lists its concentration requirements. Sometimes there are detailed descriptions of courses there, too, as well as bios of professors. I think this is the best way for you to help your son – become familiar with those websites. All the Critical Review does is give evaluations of professors – and a lot of professors and classes aren’t even there.</p>

<p>(For me, some of this “research” is valuable not only because my daughter goes to Brown, but because I am an alum and interview prospective students, and answer questions in this forum.)</p>

<p>Some people would say I am a helicopter parent, but I would say I’m generally a silent, or stealth, one – I don’t make my hovering obvious. My daughter accepts my interest, and probably knows it’s better to keep me informed than to shut me out. </p>

<p>If you are really concerned about his grades, and the choices he’s making academically, you could talk to the one of the deans who work with freshmen. There are two listed on the webpage of the Office of the Dean.</p>

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<p>@Uroogla - Thanks for all the feedback and ideas. It was good to get a different perspective on the Critical Review. I will continue to try and think of ways to ensure that my child is taking advantage of all of the advising opportunities. Even though I’ve talked in this thread about trying to help, the best solution would be if someone that really knows what they are doing gets involved :slight_smile: Your perspective on the Freshman year and the Open Curriculum were very insightful and probably helped to calm me down a bit - which is a good thing. I will continue to try and find ways to have my student get through this on their own with hopefully minimal involvement from me…</p>

<p>@fireandrain - Thanks too for your comments. Interesting to have the perspective of a current student and a current parent of a student. At this point I do know what courses my child has signed up for (only 3 so far). I’ve also done some skimming of the various concentrations just to see what requirements can be like. I hope to have my student make that connection between a concentration and the courses that they have to take. As pointed out earlier, this is very different than HS and thus we are learning as we go. I’ve already perused the department web sites and I will continue to do so. Thanks for the suggestion on the deans that work with Freshman, that’s a great idea.</p>