<p>19 year old DS had a GF all through HS, and even before that, because they started “dating” in 7th grade. They grew up together. I used to worry that they were so hooked on each other, but it really looked like a wholesome friendship/romance that would play itself out.ex-GF is a smart, talented, sweet beautiful girl. I stayed out of their relationship as much as I could, but I did worry that she would eventually dump DS, because she’s a very pretty girl, and I figured that when they went away to different colleges, she would naturally want to explore. I didn’t hold that against her, I was just worried about DS’s feelings. And she DID break up with DS last fall .He was heartbroken, but after a few weeks, he began recovering. EX dated another young man, briefly, but it didn’t last. DS didn’t want to date anyone new for a while. They both remained friends, something I’m not used to, because with my DD, once a relationship is over, it’s OVER.</p>
<p>The tragedy is that exGF found out that her mom has Stage 4 ovarian cancer. From November til now, her family has gone through this crisis, and it’s pretty certain that she’s terminal. </p>
<p>My relationship with the family has been friendly but not extremely close, because they are very nice people, but they have different friends. They’ve been super kind to DS, and the father has even provided summer jobs for DS. </p>
<p>So here’s the thing: she has become fixated on my son, and he’s all she wants to spend time with. She used to have tons of friends, but now all she wants to do this summer is hang out with him. And she’s extremely emotional, but never talks about her mom. Instead, she will say that she wishes that she never broke up with him, and cry because she thinks he thinks less of her for dating the other boy. My son can’t convince her otherwise. He tells me that he loves her, as a best friend from childhood, but that no matter what he says during these scenes, she becomes hysterical, crying. Yet she doesn’t mention the elephant in the room, that her mom’s dying. She keeps focusing on her breakup with DS as the reason for all her sorrow. She’s even said that she wishes she could go back in time to when life was happier. She calls/texts him throughout the day.</p>
<p>According to DS, she’s in therapy, and also on prescribed antidepressants. But he’s worried that she’s not taking her meds as prescribed.</p>
<p>So, is there any healthy way for him to deal with this situation? He has his own life to live, but he does love his former girlfriend, as a best friend, and an important person in his life. Important information: after the breakup, he took stock, worked out, and focused on his own goals, so he’s feeling pretty positive about himself. He doesn’t want to date another girl right now, or so he says.</p>
<p>Basically, he wants to be a good friend, but he’s not a therapist, and he doesn’t want to resume their old relationship. Do any of you have any insight?</p>