<p>People often tell me that I’m naive and that I’m a Pollyanna. </p>
<p>How can I be less naive and gain more “street smarts?” What do you suggest that I read, do, and watch? </p>
<p>What are some things that you think young people today (like me) are greatly naive about? What are some things that they’re often deceived about?</p>
<p>Finally, how did you become more adept and learned about the ways of the world? What are some truths that you wish someone had told you earlier on in your life?</p>
<p>Feel free to send me a PM if you’re more comfortable doing that.</p>
<p>I’m a Pollyanna by nature. I think it’s a lot more fun than being cynical and suspicious. People usually live up to my expectations, occasionally they don’t. I think with experience you learn the danger signs.</p>
<p>Trust, but verify. Research before doing/buying/donating. Just because someone tells you a sob story, or sends you an email purporting to give you something for free or inform you of some nefarious fact about someone, doesn’t mean it’s true (see snopes.com for many examples). </p>
<p>There is no such thing as a free lunch (unless your parents are buying ;).) Always read the fine print. And when in doubt, ask someone wiser than you. </p>
<p>Yes, most people are good at heart. But you need to protect yourself from the bad ones. Much of this comes, as mathmom says, from experience.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s ALL young people. But being naive and being a Pollyanna are two different things and require two different approaches. Go ahead and expect the best of people. But not to the point of being taken advantage of or getting hurt-physically or emotionally. An example for a college kid-have a great time at that dorm party, but never set your glass down because some idiot just might spike it with a drug. Expect that it WON’T happen, but realize that it CAN.</p>
<p>As for being naive-it’s not about street smarts so much as realizing that everyone doesn’t have the same history or options. Recognize that some kids have never had a parent rooting for them or aimed them at college. That some kids don’t even HAVE parents. That not all kids have the time or finances to get involved in 10 EC’s, that some have had to work to support their family. Someone like that might not be amused when a blithe naive classmate acts shocked that they NEVER took a trip to Europe or went to an academic summer camp. </p>
<p>Read the news-real news, not opinionated blogs, and realize that there IS bad stuff going on all over the place, but that there are some amazingly good people in the world. Look out beyond your little corner of the world and see what’s going on elsewhere. Don’t stay in your own neighborhood. Go to festivals and fairs in other areas with different dominant ethnicities. Eat at ethnic restaurants. Take a class in another art form or language or cooking method. Volunteer somewhere you wouldn’t normally go and help people you’d normally avoid.</p>
<p>All of these things are readily available to kids from larger cities, not so easy in small, whitebread towns, but with some effort you can probably find some way to broaden your worldview. Good luck!</p>
<p>Everything that leaves somebody’s mouth should be supported by his actions. Most people are way way too naive to take everything that they hear at face value. There is a bit of truth in everything, but mostly it is lies as even very truthful and sencere are simply afraid to say the truth. So, the only way I know is to always, always, 100% of the time look/check of what person does vs what he is saying. It is also extremely important to know background of people / events. Lots and lots of news reflect the very surface, reflect opinions (not the facts) and completely disregard historical evidence and other important backgrounds.
I would say that critical thinking is much more important than reading/watching…etc. There are people who actually read a lot and remain very clueless.</p>
<p>Congratulations on making it this far in life and keeping your faith in humanity. Sooner or later, some jerk will come along and ruin it for you.</p>
<p>Do you live in a small town? People have to be better behaved because reputation can follow them for generations. The anonymity of city life allows the accumulation of con men, swindlers, and thieves.</p>
<p>I, too, am very trusting by nature. I have learned to have what I call a “healthy skepticism” about people who tell me something is in my best interests when it’s really in their best interests. Naive and trusting people are easily manipulated by other, craftier people with an agenda. Now when I hear someone say “you should really do this” I ask myself, do they benefit if I follow their advice? What do I want to do (regardless of what they say or think)?</p>
<p>Also – I have a few good trusted friends whom I bounce things off of. They’ll tell me “watch out” or not, and I have used their advice to guide my own decisions.</p>
<p>“Do you live in a small town? People have to be better behaved because reputation can follow them for generations.”</p>
<p>Oh yes…I know all about “small town values.” H just visited his small home town in the rural mid west. His Dad’s house was just broken into last week and his jar of quarters was stolen. Out of the 675 inhabitants, he knows at least 10-15 people who have done time. Not very good odds. We live in LA and feel a lot safer and tend to trust our neighbors.</p>
<p>To the OP. I agree with others. Travel and expose yourself to different situations in life. Get out and about. And only give money to causes or groups that you have researched thoroughly. Screen your calls. Don’t give to anyone ringing your doorbell. And never ever give to the guy sitting behind a card table in front of the supermarket. Never ever.</p>
<p>You just gotta learn by trial and error. I work at a crisis center and make potentially life or death decisions over the phone by deciding whether or not someone is telling the truth. I’ve learned to just go by my gut and I’m nearly universally right. </p>
<p>I’m an extremely trusting person by nature but I also have a knack for knowing when something is just off. Again, it comes from life experience and little else will teach you.</p>
<p>As always, draw the decision tree. I am paranoid by nature but I am also rational beyond belief (I know, I know, contradictory). So, I’ve gotten very good at drawing out the potential outcomes of a particular situation, assigning probabilities, and so on. With a decision tree you can always trace the best way out assuming your tree is proper and you haven’t missed any obvious branches.</p>
<p>Being paranoid, my decision trees tend to have lots of branches, but various heuristics help prune them out. It works pretty well actually. </p>
<p>Like most Elbonians, I am not a trusting person by nature, so I tend to be non-committal and throw the occasional ink in the water as needed. But the most important part here is to be able to (a) forecast all possible outcomes (within reason) and (b) assign probabilities (within reason). So, when a web site claims to have the cheapest airfare tickets by far compared to the usuals, I will consider it but only if further analysis reveals no issues and no skeletons. </p>
<p>Another favorite decision process cum game theory technique is to walk backwards from a desired outcome to the current situation, filling in the ‘what does it take to transition from B to A’ parts. </p>
<p>The whole point is that one has to be informed, alert, and able to control the thought flow and the verbal flow…</p>
<p>"People say believe half of what you see,
Son, and none of what you hear. "
-This is exactly right! This is the only thing I would believe when I hear it.</p>
<p>Subscribe to, and read, a good daily newspaper. Subscribe to, and read, another publication that leans in a direction that isn’t your natural inclination. (Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal, for example.) Compare how they present the same basic facts and come to very different conclusions. Learn to make your own conclusions.</p>
<p>Learn to do your own research. Consumer Reports is a good place to start any product research. Sometimes CR is biased, but they won’t ever recommend something unless it is a good product.</p>
<p>Snopes is your friend.</p>
<p>Always get three quotes. </p>
<p>Never sign a contract until you have taken a day to think about it.</p>
<p>Yes being naive and being a Pollyanna are two different things. As far as being naive my advice is to take everything with a grain of salt as the expressions goes and also trust your gut…if it sounds far fetched it probably is. As far as being a Pollyanna, it takes practice to not be wishy washy and to feel conviction. If you believe in yourself it is easier to put yourself out there. Practice, practice, practice is the best way to become stronger.</p>
<p>Listen a lot more than you talk. Observe others. Don’t go around loudly declaring how naive or inexperienced you are at something.</p>
<p>One more thing…be careful what you put in writing…and that means Facebook, texts, emails, etc. Things you write can be forwarded all over by people who are not worthy of your trust.</p>
but I am also rational beyond belief (I know, I know, contradictory). So, I’ve gotten very good at drawing out the potential outcomes of a particular situation, assigning probabilities, and so on. With a decision tree you can always trace the best way out assuming your tree is proper and you haven’t missed any obvious branches.</p>