How can I convince my parents that I just CAN'T go to an ivy?

Applying to College
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<p>After I took my PSAT and got a 1850, I started getting college mail from places like Yale, Harvard, MIT, U Penn, Dartmouth, Brown, etc. Because of this, my parents are convinced that I can get into an ivy league school. My GPA, however, is terrible. 3.28 unweighted, 3.67 weighted. My SAT scores are good, but not great. I’ve currently got a 1910, but plan on improving to a 2210, atleast a 2100. My extracurriculars are good, and I’m an African-American, but I highly, highly highly doubt that I can get into an Ivy, or anywhere in the top 25 for that matter.</p>

<p>According to my parents, I HAVE to go to a private, Ivy-league, non-liberal arts college.</p>

<p>I really am not capable of doing that given my sucess (or lack thereof) in high school.
I really don’t want to do that either.</p>

<p>I want to go to a medium/biggish college in a large city on the west coast, but my parents are convinced that I will be unhappy and make no money and have a terrible life unless I go to an Ivy.</p>

<p>When I say that not only can I not get in, but I don’t want to, they yell at me about how I’m “selling myself short”, or “settling, and trying to be like everyone else”. It’s like they think I’m a genius when I’m far from it.</p>

<p>It’s stupid and I hate it and even if something magical happens and I do get into someplace like Colombia, I really dislike New York and wouldn’t want to go. If I did that, they would refuse to pay for wherever I do go instead, leaving me with heaps and heaps of student loans.</p>

<p>I’ve shown them the facts, the statistics, everything. Proof that there are smarter kids out there than me; better grades, better test scores- and have been denied admittance to Ivies. Nobody in the history of my high school, a private college prep school, has EVER GOTTEN INTO YALE, yet they’re convinced that I can!</p>

<p>Is there anyway at all that I can just be like “hey, this is impossible, so shut up about Harvard or whatever and get off my back”</p>

<p>???</p>

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<p>Oooh tough. My parents have caught Ivy-Or-Bust syndrome too. Too be honest, all I want to do is succeed at a state school, or maybe go into a nice LAC.</p>

<p>If you can get your SAT to a 2200, and somehow bring your GPA up to a good amount… there’s no reason why you wouldn’t have a shot at lower ivies, though.</p>

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<p>Well, the best way is to send an email to a harvard adcom, and ask them to send your parents mail that says you have absolutely ZERO chance.</p>

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<p>Well, for one, GPA matters more than test scores… let’s not perpetuate the myth that “lower ivies” are easy to get into.</p>

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<p>“Too be honest, all I want to do is succeed at a state school”</p>

<p>SAME HERE.
i’m beyond fine with getting into the university of washington.
usc would be nice, like that right there is the dream, but even that isn’t good enough for mom and pop, so i’d be totally okay with UW buuut no.</p>

<p>&there’s no way i can get my gpa up, i start applying to schools in november.</p>

<p>&haha, yeah, neither of my parents are asian, hahaha</p>

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<p>Torinoway: If you’re not a soon to be senior…just raise your SAT scores and your gpa and with URM status…you could easily go to an Ivy…
But wait, dude, UW?? Do you live in Eastside/Seattle area??</p>

<p>Sorry to sound stalkerish…but I also live in the area hahaah.</p>

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<p>torinoway: I am sorry that your parents just don’t understand your feelings. Perhaps you can show them the CC website on the Ivies’ Chance Me Thread to see how competitive it is out there for those schools.</p>

<pre><code> Personally, I think it is terrible that your parents would not sponsor you unless you get into an IVY. I hope that was just their way of encouraging you to do better instead of showing their conditional love towards their child.

At any rate, many things in life cannot be controlled. Most importantly, to respect you for who you are is far more important than a set of scores or a brand name school label put on you. Success is measured in many ways. With all that said, good luck.
</code></pre>

<p>quest4success</p>

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<p>Well, here’s to you not getting in to any Ivies! :)</p>

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<p>haha um, yeah, seattle area…</p>

<p>anyway, i’m a senior. my gpa is shot. no chances left for improvement!</p>

<p>ahhhhhh, my parents are crazy D:</p>

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<p>If you REALLY can get your scores above 2100, it would be worth an application to Cornell. Well, it depends how bad a 3.28 is at your school - what is your class rank?</p>

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<p>BTW, Ivys are liberal art colleges…</p>

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<p>oh, i know i can get my scores above a 2100. my reading and writing were both way high, like one was 710 and the other was 730. i’m just horrendous at math, but all that really is is memorization and repetition. if i studied and practiced i could forsure get a better math score. and i honestly have no idea what my class rank is- i just know that i take the most difficult classes that my school offers and have a social life as well, and therefore have a dismal gpa</p>

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<p>BTW, Ivys are liberal art colleges… </p>

<p>are not…</p>

<p>go double check that, my fellow pacific northwesterner</p>

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<p>My bad, when I visited those colleges they all kept going on about how they would offer you a “liberal arts education”. I guess what they mean is that you have to take courses from a wide variety of areas (except for Brown…)</p>

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<p>told ya so!</p>

<p>but iiii’m jealous.</p>

<p>my parents won’t take me to visit anywhere that isn’t ivy.</p>

<p>and i hear a college visit is important to the descision process!</p>

<p>the only non-ivy that i’ve seen is the university of washington, and i haven’t even done a formal tour, we just had a field trip there in elementary school to see some science thingy or something, i don’t even remember ahhhhhhh</p>

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<p>Pacific Northwesterners?! I live in North Bend,WA! I’m going to Cornell</p>

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<p>Torino, a 3.3 GPA with a 2100+ SAT score can get you into an Ivy League with your URM status. The odds are not good mind you, but it is certainly not impossible. </p>

<p>You really should not lump all Ivies together. Only Columbia is located in NYC. Dartmouth is a rural college with gorgeous campuse and setting. Brown, Cornell and Princeton are located in quaint and fun college towns. Harvard is in Boston and Penn is in Philadelphia. Each of the Ivies has its own campus environment and culture. You should read up on the Ivies and apply to 2 or 3 of them. At the same time, you should apply to your state flagship university as well as to a couple of matches.</p>

<p>For now, your parents should manage their expectations. Even students with the highest grades and scores get turned down by highly selective universities like the Ivies.</p>

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<p>You need to have a long talk with them and make it abundantly clear that you WILL NOT BE HAPPY. You are the one who will know if you are happy or not, your parents cannot control you or decide if you will be happy.</p>

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<p>How about you just pretend to go with it, until next september when you just go off to w/e college you want? I mean it’s your life, not theirs. </p>

<p>and shrink, there were threads a few months ago about 1800s getting in stanford or harvard or something.</p>

<p>BUT it’s not about where you can get in, it’s about where you WANT to go. Just because harvard or princeton is ranked #1 in those rankings, doesn’t mean it’s the best for you. </p>

<p>So anyway, I’d just pretend I’m interested in going to an ivy, but probably just screw up my applications or something, and they can’t do anything we the rejections come…</p>

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<p>“and shrink, there were threads a few months ago about 1800s getting in stanford or harvard or something.”</p>

<p>I think there was ONE thread (maybe two), and it was Stanford, not an Ivy. And I was referring to the GPA, not the SAT. (Then I thought better of it, and deleted my post).</p>

<p>OP; Try showing them this…Not saying it’s not possible, but there’s more to it than grades and SAT’s.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/african-american-students/638464-actual-results-thread-african-americans.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/african-american-students/638464-actual-results-thread-african-americans.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;