<p>I am a sophomore at a large public university; I’m going to refer to it at School A. Before my freshman year, I was actually excited to start attending this school. I even turned down a full-ride at another university of similar caliber, School B, because during my visits I thought that I could fit in at School A better and that it was the only place for me! Also, School A is close to home and I liked the idea of having a safety net. I came in with an open mind, eager to start college.</p>
<p>Then freshman year happened. I did really well in all my classes. I joined organizations and activities. I met a lot of new people… but somewhere along the line, I realized that I hate it here. The professors act like they don’t give a crap about the students. Even though I get good grades, I don’t feel intellectually stimulated. I wish my classes were more discussion based but that’s impossible in an 800 person lecture. I feel lonely. I didn’t even have anyone that I could room with this year. Even the friends that I do have are always too busy to hang out. Everyone is so bogged down with school. “Oh sorry I need to study for my midterms that are coming up in a month!” When I do get to hang out with my friends, it’s only to study together or to have a quick chat over a cup of coffee. I don’t get to do meaningful things with them, because they are so darn busy. (& no, I’m pretty sure that these people don’t dislike like me or anything; it’s just that my school has a reputation for swamping students with work).</p>
<p>Now I can’t stop beating myself up over the fact that I turned down a full-ride at School B. Even if initially I didn’t like School B as much as School A… well, I don’t like School A either so what’s the difference? At least I would be paying less money and wouldn’t have to think about finances. What was I thinking?! It also doesn’t help that my high school friends at School B are having the times of their lives, so maybe there was a possibility that I would have had a better experience at School B.</p>
<p>Do you have any suggestions on how I can make my situation better? I know that I was basically whining and complaining throughout this whole post but I do want to be proactive and either find a way to fall in love with this school or to find a way out. Please don’t tell me to join more clubs/organizations because I’m already in quite a few and it’s not working out for me. I am looking into transferring elsewhere as a junior, but it’ll be hard having to start over. Any advice and comments are appreciated!</p>
<p>So called “sophomore slump” is setting in for you. Don’t fool yourself …things probably wouldn’t be significantly different on any other campus.</p>
<p>Things do get better. You will be moving on into smaller classes. You and your friends will adjust to the more demanding workloads.</p>
<p>Also, think about how you are moving on into your next phase of life. Look around at the adults you know…their lives are not focused around “hanging out” and not many have 25768 best friends any more. When you look around campus, it’s only freshmen who travel in packs.</p>
<p>Set up study sessions with your friends, with coffee or pizza after. Look for quality time with your friends instead of quantity time. Set up something fun…maybe create an intramural sport team that you can all fit into your schedule?</p>
<p>Is there an honors program? Some other sort of smaller class? Are there any professors that are reputed to be friendly and engaging? Are you at all interested in the subjects they teach? Have you declared a major and explored opportunities to work with a professor whose research interests you?</p>
<p>At one point, your friends at School B are going to have to bog down and work too. Your classes will get smaller and you’ll be in upper division classes where you will see your major “mates” a lot. You’ll get together a lot more and will eat pizza on your overnight cram sessions.<br>
At this point, you’re halfway to your diploma. HALFWAY POINT. Think about your internships next year. There will be more opportunities for you to socialize in your work environment. There are reasons you picked your school, reexamine why you picked that choice for you. It should get better.</p>
<p>Everybody makes decisions that seem like a good idea at the time, and in fact may have been the best idea they could’ve made for that particular time and place. You had no idea what the future would hold. Hindsight is 20/20 - but don’t beat yourself up about it now.</p>
<p>The best thing you can do is figure out how to move forward. Perhaps you need to be proactive and create meaningful outings with friends - “Hey everyone, let’s take a night off and go have pizza together” or whatever you like to do that’s available in your college town. Organize a study group of the most motivated students from your class and ask if they’d like to discuss the work to get a deeper understanding - I bet you’re not the only high-achieving student who wants more interaction.</p>
<p>It is very true, as was pointed out, that as time passes you have fewer friends and less time with them. Everybody gets busy. Events don’t happen organically anymore - you have to plan them.</p>
<p>I didn’t read anything you wrote but the subject line. Here is my answer:</p>
<p>You get over your regrets and make the best of your situation by FIRST making the best of your situation. Getting over your regrets will follow from that.</p>
<p>I am constantly trying to round people up for activities and hangouts! Like I wrote in my original post, it seems as if most of my peers haven’t quite figured out how to strike a school - social life balance… so my plans fail more often than not. I just don’t understand how the general population here seems satisfied with being social recluses. Of course there must be more people similar to me, it’s just frustrating that it is taking me so long to find them. </p>
<p>What are your thoughts on whether I should transfer or not? The things that I will miss about this place if I did would be the food, the accessibility of stores/restaurants, my research lab, and…a couple people.</p>
<p>Sayonara: I would advise not to transfer yet. My best years were jr, sr and 1st year grad. My friends from that time are still my friends to date (25 yrs now). So I am not a recent grad but I still remember how hard it was. </p>
<p>You only have 2 years to go and if you’re looking for a social need then maybe college just isn’t for you at this time. Maybe you need a social break? If not, then focus on those couple of people at your current uni because good friends are hard to find.</p>