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The summer course is not that expensive.
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Well, if it’s taken at the univ and he has to dorm there, then the cost will be more costly.
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To mom2collegekids
I’m in CA. There are three CCs close to my house. He will take the summer school at the university near our house. Thank you.
He could take a gap year and apply for AmeriCorps. They pay him and if he completes the program he’ll get $5000 toward college. I’ll be pushing my poorly performing daughter to do this program. IMO sitting around the house after high school is not an option. It gets them out of the house for the year.
Here’s a list of colleges that will match the $5750 AmeriCorps award; so more than $10k toward college:
Thank you for the info. OspreyCV22. I
CC or Americorps seems like a great option fir many reasons!
18 is legal adulthood, but true adulthood(IMHO) includes being financially self sufficient, and this takes a while for most kids. It isn’t easy being “parental” with an 18 year old, and in many ways we parents need to start to let go of this role, but I see it as a gradual thing, not something abruptly that happens at 18.
It hurts to not be able or willing to pay for college, but it is reality that - if someone is paying for something, then they can choose what they will or will not pay for. Your son may be angry, disappointed for a while, but if he isn’t academically ready for college and you have financial restraints, that is a reality.
It won’t be easy for your son to see his friends go off to college. He will be disappointed and sad for a while. If there is a concern about clinical depression, then this is another issue. However, treating his sadness by giving him what he wants- while you have reasons not to- isn’t a good solution. I think it is really hard as a parent to see our kids upset. It is harder to say “no” to them than to say “yes”. However, real life states that if you want something, you must be able to pay for it, or earn it in some way.
Has your son been assessed for learning issues such as ADHD, dyslexia? What is the reason for his low achievement? Sometimes it may seem as if a student isn’t trying, but with long term learning issues, a student can give up trying if it doesn’t seem to work.
Sometimes the road to adulthood doesn’t always mean going to a four year college right away, or at all. Community colleges also have technical training routes that lead to jobs. Some of these might appeal to your son. Right now he wants to do what his friends are doing, but I think mostly, they want to grow up- leave home, be on their own. We want that too, when they are ready. You and your son could come up with some plan for him to complete two or so years of CC and then transfer, or at that point, maybe move out to an apartment with room mates, while completing classes. As he stays home, you could also work out some way he can have more responsibilities and freedom, so he doesn’t think he is “stuck” at high school stage for years.
Americorps sounds like another possibility. I am not aware of what they offer for high school grads- something to look into.
Can you clarify? Will he attend a community college or a university this summer? The costs might differ significantly.
I didn’t read all of the responses here, but I see some MAJOR red flags. A kid who gets Cs and Ds and picked his “dream school” initially because some friends were going there and to also get away from home so he could “do what he wants” and then had an SAT so low that a school that admitted him (with those Cs and Ds) is advising summer school…well, that spells doom if you ask me. If this were my kid, I would NOT be paying for him to attempt college. College isn’t for everyone, and based on the information we have in this thread, I say it’s not for him; at least not today it isn’t. He COULD try the Community College route, but it should be noted that a very small percentage of new high school graduates who do the Community College route first because they didn’t have the grades to jump right into a 4-year university, end up getting to the point that they can transfer to a 4-year university. Successful Community College students are typically those who are either a bit older or are truly doing that route for economic reasons only.
My advice: Tell your son to get a job and let him live at home for a year and then see if his attitude about wanting to go to college changes. The reasons he should have for wanting to go to college are to expand his knowledge, prepare him for a job or career that gives him more money, to better his life. The reasons should NOT include going somewhere where his friends are or wanting to “do what he wants”; those are two very immature reasons.
Bad high school students (and your son is a bad student with Cs and Ds) do not typically fare well in college. If he goes to that university, or any university away from your home, I see unencumbered partying, failing of classes and ultimately having to drop out, leaving you or him with student loans that need to be paid back and nothing to show for it.
Sorry to be harsh here, but I have seen this movie before…and with some kids who were much more talented students than your son. Good luck to him.
We have had our kids take some community college classes while they were in high school. We were impressed by the caliber of teaching at our community college. Instructors are not there to do research but there to teach.
Also note: Your son could potentially enroll at the semester in a community college if Americorps does not work out.
@Picapole: That was the consensus of my kids that did Dual Enrollment in High School and accumulated in excess of 60 credits while still enrolled in High School. From what they said, the CC Professors were very good at breaking down very difficult concepts into easy to understand principles, something my kids found lacking once they went on to 4-year universities.
I have an issue with the whole concept of a “dream school”. I think kids get sometimes think that just because one of their HS upperclassman got into XYZ or he likes the sports team at ABC, then that becomes their dream school. Or maybe it’s HYP just because the media hypes those names so much, or because they are top ranked according to some website, and that becomes their dream school after they’ve done 30 seconds of research.
We as parents need to manage our kids expectations. Our kids need to look at the application and acceptance statistics of a given target school and they need to understand their chances. I’m not talking about discouraging them from dreaming. If they want to go to XYZ dream school and they are a HS freshman, then fine. Look at the stats, they are widely published. Show them what it takes to get in (or at least have a good chance) and then work towards that goal, but realize that nothing is guaranteed. That’s how life works, especially with the process of applying to college. Waiting until the junior year in HS then going on a campus tour, having the kid fall in love and then realizing they have little chance of getting in or affording that school is a waste of time and emotion.
We don’t just get things because we want them really really badly.
Thank you for all your inputs/comments.
My son has C in Economics and D in Math, but his other subjects mostly A and Bs. The problem with my son is he always in a rush and does not use all his time(given) during the test, that’s why he got a lower score in SAT. He does not put a lot of efforts when he study. I know he could do better. He was an A student from kinder to freshman. He is becoming a stubborn teenager and he thinks he knows everything. I agrree with all of your suggestions and appreciate for taking the time reading my post and responding to it. I am beginning to feel a little better now that I read some of your advice. Thank you all.
Honestly, if he is getting Ds in Math and English, he probably shouldn’t go to a 4 year college.
I would be very surprised if it is too late to sign up for fall classes at all three of your local CA community colleges. Perhaps the dates you saw were for the summer term? Or for the start of signing up for fall classes? Even if they have started taking class signups, there should be enough classes still available. I would recommend that you call the admissions phone number for each of the community colleges to see how to expedite admissions and English and math placement tests.
The CA community colleges generally have good services for students whose goal is to transfer to a Cal State or UC. There are entire departments with services aimed at letting kids know what courses to take to be on track for transfer.
OP your DD finished nursing school in Dec and is still studying for her board exams? Did she take and do poorly, or is she overly nervous? Is she just taking a LOOONG break?
Do not allow the mistakes made with your son negatively affect your relationship with your H. I understand how he didn’t approach this in concert with you. At least he now woke up.
Hindsight is 20-20.
You want to have your son put his best foot forward (which he admittedly has not done). You are not alone in this scenario. However you can affect how today and the future goes as far as you and your H not enabling a bad series of decisions. Sounds like son took the HS years to mature a bit, but now is reaping his lack of effort and his lack of maturity in most of his HS academics and test taking. Racing through tests may be a sign of test anxiety. Sometimes kids do act like they don’t care instead of admit anxiety.
This doesn’t make sense. If this is a real situation, I might tell my son that his performance wasn’t strong enough to go to a four year school just now. (Let’s not get into a debate about community colleges, please)
Sounds like there are lower cost options to attend college - maybe take some local classes and establish a good track record.
If that’s the case, then neither CC nor university is right for him quite yet. He probably has the potential to do well, but he also sounds like the perfect recipe for a college dropout. You have to have a strong sense of responsibility to do well in college, and it sounds like in that sense he is lacking.
Note that admission offers from UCs, CSUs, and other schools are typically conditional or provisional on satisfactory completion of in-progress course work. Read the conditions carefully – in many cases, a D grade will result in the admission being rescinded.
I.e. if he gets a D grade, he may eliminate attending his “dream school” as a frosh through his own actions.