<p>Dear friends of ours recently told us their young adult son (new college graduate) will be undergoing chemotherapy soon. If you or someone close to you has experienced this, what kind of help can we offer? We are already organizing meals and driving the younger siblings to school. Are there any books, music, etc, that we can give their son? They are a close knit family and also religious.</p>
<p>Look into caringbridge.org–it’s a website that helps families keep friends and loved ones in the loop, I know several families that have used it.</p>
<p>Lotsahelpinghands is another one that helps with scheduling volunteers.</p>
<p>Caringbridge.org is very good. If you have a bit of dough, and he doesn’t have one, a Nexus 7 or another small tablet would be nice to give him. He can get books but also apps on it, and it is very light. </p>
<p>You could ask him or his parents if he wants anything of course. Or offer to babysit the younger ones when he is in the hospital so the parents can get a break, even just for a dinner.</p>
<p>This is so thoughtful of you. It’s always tough to hear, but do remember that he’s the same kid he always was, except he just isn’t well right now. You didn’t say what kind of cancer he has, but don’t think of him or treat him as a “dead man walking.” I have stage IV cancer myself (been living with BC since 2007) and appreciate it when friends treat me as they always have. The science is advancing very fast, and people are living with cancer a long time in relatively good health. It’s possible that he will do ok for a long time. </p>
<p>Our nephew was 20 when he was diagnosed with stage III-C colon cancer. He is 23 now and doing very well. Our family is quite large. We all sent him cards and notes. The cousins who were closest in age visited him and took him favorite foods. His mother plied him with healthy food. He would get to enjoy an occasional milk shake and burgers, etc. brought by visitors. He is a history buff, so I sent him a book I found that he enjoyed. He received massive doses of chemo, so he slept a lot. Keeping focused was challenging for him at times. </p>
<p>If they are Catholic, a great book is “Divine Mercy Triumph Over Cancer”. It is written by an oncologist and combines spirituality and healing. </p>
<p>He had a subscription to Netflix, so he could watch movies when he was able. </p>
<p>DH battled stage 3 colon cancer. He REALLY hated it that for a while, all people talked to him about was his cancer, did he have symptoms prior to diagnosis, and what were they, his treatments, how was he feeling, etc. He wanted to talk about NORMAL things like how crappy the Dallas Cowboys were playing, or how his last vacation was, was the lake at our house up or down, what’s going on is business field, etc. In other words, the same kinds of things people had always talked to him about before. He didn’t want to be treated like a sickly person or given those kind but pitiful looks every time people saw him. He also didn’t like it when people probed about his treatment-the big one “Do you have a bag?” Really?! I mean, REALLY?!</p>
<p>Offer to bring meals or give him an Amazon card or I-tunes card so he can upload books and music. But do treat him normally and don’t pry or pity him. JMHO.</p>
<p>You are good to ask.</p>
<p>My close friend going thru this. Just as Nrdsb4 says, she likes to talk of our sons, their g/fs, career goals. She does not like to focus on life without her in it. </p>
<p>Thank you for your replies. Our friends’ son has a soft tissue cancer, I forget the medical term for it. He will undergo 3 rounds of chemo and then radiation before surgery over the next 2-3 months. He is a very soft spoken person with a loving family and close friends who I know are there for him.<br>
An Amazon card so he can buy/rent movies and music for his ipad is a great idea!</p>