<p>I’ve watched a friend (one year my senior) transform from a bubbly star athlete to a worrying state of alcoholism. It’s not as bad as some binge-drinking habits I’ve seen, but the Facebook photos showing her in states of less-than-clear judgment aren’t encouraging. We’re not really close, but we’re not complete strangers either. Is it really tactful to say to someone, “You need to stop drinking?”</p>
<p>This would occur electronically too – privately of course, by either email or Facebook PM – but I’m not usually the type to confront people in real life, so sending it electronically would seem so ever the more awkward.</p>
<p>I have another friend. During freshman year I was enamoured with her semi-geekish tomboyish behaviour and her witty, sharp sometimes-caustic wit. I know she’s brilliant from the essays I’ve seen her write; the kind of student that should be in the top 10. Unlike everyone in the top 10 however, she’s not upper middle class and recently I found out her parents are of low-income backgrounds, which may have contributed to underplaced ambitions. (My family’s own situation is economically similar, but my single mother is considerably more class-conscious and ambitious, sometimes too much to the extent of being mortifying.) For example, even though she was a year ahead of most of the cohort in mathematics (along with me), she chose to place in Honors Calculus rather than AP Calculus. This would not be a huge deal, but this year’s something’s happened, where she’s almost virtually dropped out, and for the past two terms has been skipping school most days. She of course is now failing most of her classes. She seems pretty okay with it, and I’m not sure if it’s because her parents don’t push her. I didn’t realise until this year that she never had any ambitions for college beyond attending community college [when IMO, her brain deserves so much better]. Though we’re the kind of friends to talk about computer games, make calculus jokes and make fun of other schoolmates’ political positions (at least we were, before her slide downward), we’re not close enough to talk about any deeply personal matters. I have of course shown my disapproval and constantly pushed her to attend class and mentioned that community college isn’t good enough for someone of her brilliance, but I don’t know if it would be tactful to say anything stronger … </p>
<p>I’m not sure if CC is the best place to ask advice for this, but I’m usually a reserved person and I’m not the type to gossip behind a friend’s back with another friend. I’ve just kinda watched these two friends who I did like very much (and perhaps, still do) slip into very worrying states. The worst part is, I don’t know why their own closer friends don’t point this out to them. The self-censorship imposed by peer pressure can be a peculiar thing.</p>