<p>My DD got her grades for this semester and to say it nicely, I am upset. First semester her GPA was a 3.3, which was great. I was happily surprised as she is slow to get used to new things and places. Second semester midterms were also good, A’s and B’s. Then final grades just came in. A, B’s and unfortunately a C, in a subject that is her major. Works out to a B average for the semester and a Cum of 3.2. </p>
<p>But I am upset. I am pretty sure the C is because she handed something in late or not at all. Probably the former. This has been her MO since high school. I know that there is nothing that I can do about it now. Summer is here, school is over and if I even try to talk about it now she just gets defensive. </p>
<p>Please someone out there tell me not to be nuts about this. That it is one class and things will get better next semester. I need a boost!
Thanks,</p>
<p>I’d give her a break… sometimes things just happen. Maybe she forgot to hand something in, maybe she just didn’t do well on something, maybe something just wasn’t right.</p>
<p>I royally screwed up my second semester of Soph. year. My roommate had just broken up with her boyfriend of four years a day or so before finals (who I was really great friends with… probably even better friends than with my roommate) and he got really depressed and suicidal (he’d had issues with that in the past) so I basically stopped studying for finals and stayed with him at his apartment for like a week. I wound up getting B’s, C’s and D’s on my finals and even got an F on one… I also forgot to hand in an assignment for one of my major classes… I think my GPA for the semester was like a 2.2. My parents flinched a bit, but didn’t say anything because they knew something had to be off. My next semester was a 3.75. </p>
<p>And there were plenty of other times where a class is just a lot tougher than you think it will be and you just end up getting a C in it. I mean, my best friend in college graduated with like a 3.8 and even he had a few C’s along the way… </p>
<p>one of my other roommates got a C in one of her major classes that she studied for every day and is now in Med school to become a doctor. It happens.</p>
<p>I’d just let it go, because it’s just one C… maybe make a comment saying that she had a good year and hopefully can build on it the next year… which sort of lets her know you expect her to do a little better (not worse or the same) next time.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is the 3.2 I think it is the fact that there was a C which I am guessing yaka thinks would have been better if her D had done an assignment on time. </p>
<p>Not the end of the world - but speaking as a person who previously had a problem handing stuff in on time - I learned the lesson the hard way. It took me several years of work to go back and retake things to prove that I was academically better than my undergrad grades showed. It was expensive and time consuming.</p>
<p>Okay, I was a little harsh and I apologize. You do need a boost! I’m guessing she didn’t like the C either. And, as MagsMom implied, she is probably learning her lesson. I agree with fendergirl. Let your D know that you are proud of what she accomplished this year and look forward to watching her build on her successes.</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day, yaka. :)</p>
<p>PS yaka’s mom, it looks like you are posting under your D’s screen name? If so, you may want to get your own account so that her posts and yours are not confused. And in case you want to post some things that you prefer her not to see.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your comments. Yaka is my screen name. One that my DD would never look for. Just an old nickname. </p>
<p>I guess it is the C in her major subject is what worries me. Also, that it feels very similar to the HS scenario. Yes, she is in college. I have calmed down and realize that I can’t do too much. Maybe a pep talk in the fall.</p>
<p>I guess next year will tell if wants to major in that subject.</p>
<p>Something like half of all students change their majors at least once. I wasn’t cut out to be an engineering major but it took more than one “C” to tell me that…and if only they had been “C’s.”</p>
<p>Even if she doesn’t change her major, a “C” isn’t the end of the world. Okay, I’m being hypocritical…if D got a “C”, I’d be anxious too. But my <em>head</em> says “not to worry.”</p>
<p>At the end of every semester it seems like there’s a thread on the college life board about how the semester went for everyone. I always click on it expecting to read about books people read and projects they did and really great teachers they had, and I’m always sad to find nothing but a list of the names of 4 or 5 classes and the grade expected in each. </p>
<p>College should be about more than that, imho.</p>
<p>Mini, I get weeks upon weeks of “what I learned in class,” moments of epiphany, etc. I mostly only get the grades stuff at, well, grading period.</p>
<p>I didn’t know parents were still involved in their kids’ grades after high school. I did horribly my first year in college, – 2 Bs and 2Cs and did end up in Law School, so there is life after a less than stellar first report card. (Of course, I didn’t go to a top ten law school, so there you go.) There can be many reasons for her grades, but now she has to figure it out. Just be supportive, but don’t freak out. It really is just a small part of entire college record – it’s an adjustment period and not indicative of how she’ll do next year or the year ater that. Look at it as a bit of a wake up call – “oh, college is going to take more work or more organization or more whatever” – that should get her thinking about concrete ways to improve next semester.</p>
<p>I think that all parents are “involved” in their kids grades if they are paying for the education. I am certainly not calling the school or talking to professors, but I am concerned. I was a not a great HS student, but when I got to college I seemed to get my stride and did very well. She is not at an Ivy League school, just a middle of the road. She went to a very competitive HS and I thought that this might prove to be easier for her. For her not to do well in her major subject just raises my antenna. I am not all over her. Haven’t said another word about it. But yes, I am interested.</p>
<p>First semester as a freshman my D got a C in what I consider her most important course. She felt she learned that material but just did not have enough time to study for the final exam. This semester, it appears likely that she will get another C in the subject. I am concerned but I am certainly not going to say anything. No final “pep” talks in the Fall, either. She needs to struggle and learn how to succeed. High grades are too easy in almost all HS’s (and at some colleges).</p>
<p>“Mini, I get weeks upon weeks of “what I learned in class,” moments of epiphany, etc. I mostly only get the grades stuff at, well, grading period.”</p>
<p>Same here (and I don’t even want to know unless she cares to tell me), but we share a little non-secret. ;)</p>
<p>“I think that all parents are “involved” in their kids grades if they are paying for the education.”</p>
<p>Nope, unless we are the exception who prove the rule. (though I’ll admit that we don’t pay for very much of it. :))</p>
<p>That is good that you don’t pay for school, but when you are dropping big money, and I am happy to do it for my kids if I can, then yes I am my concern goes up. </p>
<p>But I do agree with all that I have to take a step back and let her find her way. She has very low self-esteem, so I have always been worried about her. She thinks that she is not good at very much, while I know that she is much better that she imagines she is.</p>
<p>“That is good that you don’t pay for school, but when you are dropping big money, and I am happy to do it for my kids if I can, then yes I am my concern goes up.”</p>
<p>But I don’t see what money has to do with it. You “bought” the school, not the grades (just as mine did, scholarship-wise). Why do you even know what her grades are? Do you ask for them? Does she feel obligated to tell you? Open communication is great, of course, but if you are setting off alarm-bells in her head, maybe you’d be better off not knowing. It’s not like she is flunking out.</p>
<p>Yaka, I understand your concern. It’s hard for parents to accept that kids who were 4.0 or better in high school may not get straight A’s in college. The first B that my son received in college had me a little worried. But then my very sensible husband pointed out that he was taking very difficult courses at a very challenging school. I worry, too, about the money we are spending. But then I step back, and think about my own college experience. I paid my own way, and my foreign born parents didn’t have a clue about education in this country. That gave me a wonderful sense of freedom. If I screwed up, I had no one else to blame, but I also had the option of taking interesting classes without concern for my GPA. I ended up doing very well, but there were a few classes which didn’t help my GPA! When I get tense about my son’s GPA, I remind myself that it’s his life, and he has the freedom to make his own choices. It’s a long haul, and I think it’s too soon for you to panic. Also, anxiety tends to really inhibit learning, so any more pressure is going to be counterproductive for your daughter. You’d pay the tuition anyway, even if she changes majors, right? As long as she gets a degree then the investment is worth it. The tuition is just the entry ticket for the experience, not a guarantee of specific results. And these kids are still young in so many ways!</p>