<p>“I’ve often said that it is a really good thing that D2 was NOT my oldest one. I’d never have made it through to the second one if she had been! She’s sometimes pretty high maintenance…”</p>
<p>took the words right out of my mouth! But I would have worried more about the reverse sib’s survivability more than my own; she would have been run over by the Ram in the family.</p>
<p>Yes, I think I also might have held it at one child, not two. <em>Sometimes</em> high maintenace? I’d say, sometimes – maybe once a year – low or medium maintenance.</p>
<p>At our house the older ones were also the naturally loud, talkative, argumentative ones. As each one left for college, the noise level went down around here. Child #3 became a little more outgoing, but not enough to really make up for it. </p>
<p>Now we only have child #4, and we are waiting for him to learn how to at least hold up his end of the conversation, let alone regale us with his opinion on anything! DH travels too, and sometimes it’s just me and my boy, eating dinner & conversing in monosyllables…</p>
<p>S1 and S2 though less than 3 years apart in age have never been close. They never really argued or fought but also never really done much of anything together except on vacations when they were each others only option. They merely co-existed for 15 years in side by side bedrooms, each rotating through separate worlds. When S1 left for college, S2 seemed barely to notice. S1 was always the one everybody noticed (academics, activities,personality, even looks) while S2 was more of the homebody who didn’t do that well in school and had fewer friends. In the one and a half years that S1 has been gone, S2 seems to have come out of his shell. His academics still leave much to be desired but he seems to have come into his own socially and dispays more confidence in himself and has developed his own social circle. He has gone from the boy who rarely leaves the couch to the boy who never sits on our couch because he’s always out. If he misses S1, he has never shown it.</p>
We have the same situation. I suspect my clothes are what my sister (a high school freshman) will miss the most when I leave. :p</p>
<p>I’m relieved that we’ve always attended different schools because we’ve always been stereotyped by people as the “smart” one (me) and the “pretty” one (her), and it’s left both of us with insecurities that would probably be much worse if we had to compete with each other at school. She’s 5’7, thin, popular, athletic, with blonde hair to her waist and the features of a model… but despite getting mostly B’s and some A’s at a prominent girls’ prep school she thinks she’s stupid. </p>
<p>We’re very close, but sometimes I think she feels as overshadowed by me as I do by her. In that sense, even though I’ll miss her and we’ll probably talk often, me leaving might actually be good for her.</p>
<p>For us it was absolute relief when the older ones went to college because the younger ones were so dominated by the older ones, their high IQ and constant chattiness, opinions, stories,etc.When the older ones were around there was always an air of joyeous boisterism and wittiness and when they went off to college the younger boys finally could express themselves freely without comment or input! They fianlly came into their own and it was good for them.I also changed my style of parenting and focused primarily on the boys after the older one’s started college. Perhaps that is why I have the relationship I do with the older ones. That is, they are very independent and rely more on their friends for comfort, support, etc.Not that they need to however!</p>
<p>my girls are 8 years apart in age, but as there are no other kids and they don’t see their cousins- they provide alot of support to each other.
Different personalities, but still alot of similarities.</p>
<p>When D2 was 11, she was just starting to become more comfortable in teh world, and so it was sad when her sister left for college. She was away at camp , although we did go down for parents weekend, and D1 came up for fall break ( freshman year). She wouldn’t talk to D1 on the phone, because it was too painful, but she did occasionally IM with her. She still doesn’t like talking on the phone too much, but she had a good time, during a recent stay in her sisters city to look at colleges ( so much that we didn’t * see* any colleges ;)</p>
<p>Because I was comfortable with the campus and the city, D2 stayed with her sister over the years, including going down on the train by herself or with friends to visit. Something I really appreciated the ease of, she wouldn’t have been able to do that if for instance the school was 3000 miles away.</p>
<p>They didn’t attend same high school and D2 isn’t interested at all in even looking as a prospie to D1s college, but they are interested in similar subjects ( science)
D2 also works at same summer camp as D1 did, and she enjoys it more now that it has been long enough since sis has worked there for people not to ask her * oh you are Daisys sister? * and have expectation that are more along the line of what Daisy would do, than Didgeridoo. * camp names*</p>
<p>Just the other day, my son mentioned that our household had become “quite calm and a little bit boring” now that his sister, and only sibling, had left for college. I think that translates to ‘I miss her’…lol!</p>
<p>He too will have to follow in the big footsteps. Last year, we had been rezoned to another high school and he was so relieved to not have the burden of living up to ldgirl. But last month we were rezoned back to her high school. So relief was short-lived. I keep pointing out there are advantages to having the way paved a bit…but I don’t think he’s buying it.</p>
<p>asap,
Your post (#7) made me feel better. I’ve been agonizing over our oldest leaving for college for about three years now, so it’s nice to see that there may be a benefit for his sister. She already gets the “are you X’s sister?” from various teachers at school, with her affirmation often followed amusingly by an “Oh, I’m sorry.” So, he’ll still be somewhat of a presence in her school life.</p>
<p>My house got much calmer after my first left. We love him with ALL of our hearts, but he is a drama king Everything is a huge deal with him, whereas everybody else is pretty laid back. His presence tends to ramp up the anxiety levels!!</p>
<p>When he comes home for visits, it is wonderful to see him, but if it is a long stay, we all kind of breathe a sigh of relief when he goes back to school.</p>
<p>Gosh, that sounds so awful - TRULY we do love him!!! He is wonderfully creative and deep - but I think that sometimes leads to histrionics…</p>
<p>My husband has since turned youngest son’s room into a “music room” where he can go practice his banjo (he previously did it in the garage because I was going crazy hearing the beginning stanzas of what sounded eerily similar to the Beverly Hillbillies theme song over and over and over again). And my youngest moved into my oldest’s room.</p>
<p>Our 2 Ds’ bedrooms connect with a bathroom. D2 has plans of her older sister’s room becoming her “living room” and turning it into a mini-apartment. (And maybe it will take twice as long to get messed up). The biggest problem is that it is the neat-freak who is going away to college first. I shudder to think what that bathroom is going to look like in the fall…</p>
<p>My DH had major trepidation when his mini-me, S1, left. S2 is a carbon copy of my personality. Poor man. Trapped between two extreme extroverts!</p>
<p>Turns out, over the three years, DH developed the best relationship of his life with S2 because he ‘knew’ that personality so well. S2 compliments his strengths in the same way that I do–but DH feels freer to express frustrations to S2. With me, DH pretends he is happy all the time, LOL. I think his relationship with S2 has turned out to be the most honest relationship H has in his life.</p>
<p>S2 enjoyed his time as King Bee though he made sure he had a pile of friends around to keep up that ‘family’ feeling. He’s home on break now and we have to request alone time if we want to have a chat without friends. there is always an extra or two at the breakfast,lunch and dinner table.</p>
<p>My twins left the same time - well, not exactly, one got to help move the other in. Due to different breaks other than Thanksgiving, they enjoy their time home alone but try to squeeze in a weekend visit to the other one at school!</p>
<p>me and my sister are 5 years apart, so there’s never been any sibling rivalry but we’ve never been that close - we get along fairly well but we’ve never been “friends”. We’re similar enough but we’re pretty different - she’s more extroverted and dramatic. She always wanted my parents’ help w/college essays, homework etc. whereas I wanted to do it all by myself. A lot of girls my age are best friends with their older sisters and visit them at college and party with them etc. etc. but when I visited S at Scripps I didn’t want to do that - it would’ve been weird partying with my sister. I was kind of relieved when she left for college because I’m an introvert and I’d have the house to myself until my parents got home from work and I’d go in her room at night and watch TV (her freshman year we didn’t have room for her TV), and also her presence has always sort of put me on edge because she’s more extroverted and kind of a drama queen and judgmental and takes everything really personally and comes off kind of harsh even when she doesn’t mean to. We’re probably getting along a lot better than we ever have before, I think as we get older the age difference will matter less.</p>
<p>We’ve also never been in each other’s shadows because we’ve never been at the same level of school at the same time and we didn’t go to the same high school. And even if we had, she has a different last name than me (she’s adopted - long story) so if I didn’t want my teachers to know they wouldn’t. If anything though I’ve been the overachiever, although she was a pretty good student herself (top 15% of class, 1200 SAT, yada yada). We’re both definitely humanities types as opposed to math & science. </p>
<p>Now she’s living in SF with her best friend, and I don’t miss her but I’m not like “woohoo she’s gone!” like I was in 8th grade. It’s just neutral now. And now when I do see her it’s cool because it doesn’t happen very often. My parents have been talking about how it’s going to be when I’m gone though, cuz I’m the 2nd and last and I’m pretty talkative. It already got quieter when S left (she’s louder than me LOL), but it’ll get really quiet when I leave :-D</p>
<p>Well…the first year DS was at college, DD missed getting a ride to school from him and hated taking the “looser cruiser” aka as the school bus. But on the bright side, she had a bathroom all to herself without any mess. She missed having her brother advocate for her (which he did a LOT). But she also was able to be her own person at her school instead of being “brother’s little sister”. Now that both of them are in college, they truly enjoy their times together at home, and keep in touch nicely.</p>
<p>“looser cruiser” LOL. My DS hates to ride the bus! His friends all have cars, but leave school at about 3 p.m. (senior perogative - lightweight schedules), leaving him to come home on the bus at 5. Hates it hates it, hates it. I think it’s good for him DD is off at college and talks to DS on the phone or emails him. They like each other lots (as well as loving each other), and have always looked out for each, so they keep in close touch. I have enjoyed having quiet time with my more-introverted son around, and having my extrovert gone has left a calm around the house. (And no more piles of junk everywhere :eek:)</p>
But I would have worried more about the reverse sib’s survivability more than my own; she would have been run over by the Ram in the family.</p>
</p>
Everything is a huge deal with him, whereas everybody else is pretty laid back. His presence tends to ramp up the anxiety levels!!</p>