<p>I’m curious about how other CC’ers’ younger kids reacted and handled the change when an older sibling left for school? Our two Ds are best of friends/worst of enemies. In some ways I think D2 will be a bit “lost” for a while, but I suspect she’ll ultimately thrive no longer being in D1’s shadow. Last night, I told D2 that we were thinking of going to Orlando for a long weekend that she has in October. It occurred to her that D1 wouldn’t be going, too. We shared a funny/bittersweet realization that this is REALLY going to be happening!</p>
<p>Although my daughter really likes her older brother, she was delighted when he went off to college because it meant that she no longer had to compete for parental services such as rides.</p>
<p>My brother really took it in stride when I went off to college. He complained that I wasn’t there to help him with his math homework and that since I was gone, mowing the lawn fell to him. We were close enough–I mean, we’d play around on his 360 and whatnot and sometimes play basketball or other sports, but he didn’t really miss in that regard b/c one of his friends who’s a senior in high school (my brother’s a junior) lives with the family. He likes having the car all to himself as well. My little sister has been too focused transitioning between our old K-8 school and her all-girls’ prep school to be worried about not seeing me, though again, she wishes I were there to help with math (but now she has a tutor, so I guess she’s fixed that).</p>
<p>I think that family vacations or events are the hardest. Everyday life it doesn’t seem so weird because the last year she was here D1 was out and about a lot.
We went to a big race for my husband ( 5 day trip) and D1 could not get there easily from her college so did not come - it was weird. Next Fall my husband has a huge race - once in a lifetime type thing- and we have purchased a plane ticket for D1 as well. We are just keeping our fingers crossed that her fall schedule will allow a few missed days so she can be a part of it all. </p>
<p>On the other hand since D1 has always been very outgoing and very vocal, D2 is actually enjoying “her” time now at dinner, etc. w/o having to compete for attention LOL</p>
<p>C3 and C4 shared a room. When C1 left for college, I don’t think his bed had a chance to cool down before C4 moved into it. </p>
<p>In reality the others miss the oldest, but he came home enough the first couple of years to ease the transition. Now C2 and C3 have gone to college, too, and C4 is “enjoying” the perks of single childdom.</p>
<p>My two daughters are 2 1/2 years apart and very close, although they do bicker quite a lot. They are similar size and share clothes, so that should be interesting for D2’s wardrobe. My son is 8 and worships his oldest sister. They spend time together voluntarily and she has taken care of him in her own way (she is a nurturer by nature!) all of his life. I suspect it’s going to be unbearable for him. I’m glad you posted this. I’ve got to bring this to Zoosergirl’s attention.</p>
<p>I think if the child leaving had a big personality, the next one in line actually benefits from the sibling’s leave. My second grew to fill the void left by the first. </p>
<p>Old family patterns are broken, and the kids left behind are viewed in a new way by parents. It’s all good.</p>
<p>(now let’s hope my first-born doesn’t see this. 
) We still love you, honey!!</p>
<p>My kids are a little over 2 years apart. Like a lot of siblings, they’ve done more than their fair share of bickering. When D left for school, I think S missed her a bit, but he’s really enjoying not having to share the computer, bathroom, parents, etc.</p>
<p>What I’ve really enjoyed is that the two of them have actually gotten closer. S went up to D’s school and visited her for the weekend. They spent a lot of time just talking and hanging out together. For two kids who rarely got along well over the past two years, I was THRILLED!!</p>
<p>Cm of 2 - Ditto here!</p>
<p>My HS sophomore son is a neatnick, so when his sister left for college, he was thrilled to be able to keep a clean bathroom, without gobs of her long, long hair all over the place. He also loves extra space in the house for friends staying over all the time.</p>
<p>But he misses her support at his basketball games, and although he’d never admit it, misses having his energetic sister in HS that knew everybody when he was the new freshman.</p>
<p>H and I love seeing him become more open and talkative with us when she’s not around usurping the attention, lol!</p>
<p>my D will miss that “hey, lets’ go to the movies or shopping” without having to coordinate with friends, just grabbing her sister and going</p>
<p>sharing of the shoes…jewelry…and such</p>
<p>and my younger D will miss her sisters friends…just hanging out on a friday night eating cookie dough</p>
<p>on the other hand, i think younger will have a change to shine at ECs that she and sis have in common</p>
<p>as well, little sis is getting big sis’ room as soon as summer starts…big sis is fine with it…so that will keep us busy</p>
<p>I just bought the girls these speaker things to tape onto your Ipod, so they can send each other podcasts</p>
<p>as well, we are will be sending little sis to the east coast to visit her sister ALOT…</p>
<p>My sister is two years older than me. When she left, we emailed all the time–as in, every time I checked my email I had one from her and emailed back. It was so much easier to get along when we weren’t trying to figure out how HS sophmore, HS senior, mom, and dad can all share one computer! We’re definitely gotten closer. We only took short vacations without my sister, but it was strange. I’m the youngest, and to be honest I hated being alone with my parents at home and on vacations. I highly doubt that this is just me, but I’m not terribly surprised that no parents have mentioned it yet! It’s hard to have your parents’ attention just focused on you, I think, especially at that age (16, 17, etc.). Before if I didn’t want to deal with my parents or I was mad at something they did or annoyed, I could go to my sister, but when she left for college I lost that buffer. This was especially noticeable on vacations when I really couldn’t escape my parents. I definitely missed being able to go with my sister to the mall or movies or dinner whenever we wanted to without the hassle of calling friends and figuring out times.</p>
<p>Our story is similar to ASAP’s. My two sons were very close, stuck together through thick and thin, supported each other’s sports achievements and friendships, etc. I worried a lot about what would happen to the younger one when the older one left for college. </p>
<p>I was surprised to see him just blossom! I’d never realized how much he’d been living in his brother’s shadow, trying to measure up to him all the time. Once he was free of that, he really found his own path.</p>
<p>The two of them still chat on the phone, and the younger one has been to visit the older one at school a few times. They’re still buddies. It’s not like old times, but maybe that’s a good thing.</p>
<p>I was surprised that her reaction was relief. But I guess it makes sense. She is quite competitive, & older sib was a major star at same high school. Also, she had this weird notion that older sib consumed more of my time. (Wrong!) Quite the opposite. The Left Behind one has been always, and is now, a LOT more work. It’s just that now she gets 100% of my attention, versus merely 80%.</p>
<p>So removing her competition was more important to her than peer companionship!</p>
<p>Wow. Who woulda thunk?</p>
<p>She also behaves a little more maturely now. I think the immaturity was an a.s.d. (Attention Seeking Device)</p>
<p>Epiphany, I can see some similarities here. If D2 has ANOTHER person at high school ask her if she’s ****'s sister, followed by “WOW! Are you as smart as she is?” she’s going to punch them! And I’ve often said that it is a really good thing that D2 was NOT my oldest one. I’d never have made it through to the second one if she had been! She’s sometimes pretty high maintenance…</p>
<p>We experienced many of the feelings detailed by ASAP. The best thing about S’s departure for college was that D could move back into the “kid’s” bathroom that she had vacated several years earlier (S was well geared toward living in less than pristine conditions before dorm living). The worst part was that S typically was the voice D listened to over mine and he often preached the same message I was trying to communicate, but somehow it was wisdom from him and droning from me. His ability to tutor D in math was missed as well.</p>
<p>S really missed his sister, and really hated being the only object of our attention. He did adjust, though, and even was forced to hold up his end of the conversation at the dinner table.</p>
<p>Now that she’s a college grad, and he’s in school, they both value the time they get to spend together. He works where she is in the summer, so they have a lot of friends in common from that. It’s neat to see the 3 years age difference (4 in terms of school years) shrink as they both have gotten older.</p>
<p>My oldest S is now a freshman away from home. He is a very social being and has fit right in at school My youngest S is a HS sophomore and very shy.</p>
<p>They are best friends and the seperation has been a little hard on the youngest although he still soldiers on. He found himself watching more TV and playing more video games and his grades suffered a little. </p>
<p>About a month ago, he went up with us for his first visit to his brother’s school over a weekend. The boys roomed together and we gave them some time to hang out together. That perked up the youngest a lot, his grades went back to where they were and now he entuisastically discusses his college future.</p>
<p>Funny, astrophysicsmom- when my s started at the same HS as his senior sister, his freshman English teacher said, “oh, you’re…'s brother! She is such a great writer- I look forward to reading YOUR papers!”</p>
<p>Well, he wanted to crawl in a hole, being the the polar opposite of her- he’s a math and science kid, with little interest in creative writing or literature analysis. When his first Shakespeare paper started with “It’s all Greek to me” or something to that effect, the teacher started to see the difference, lol!</p>
<p>D2 has come back with a few snappy comments, and she IS very proud of her sister, but it does wear on her. Her sister is the math/science geek; after this year , D2 won’t have that many classes that intersect with her sisters’ path…so I think it will get better and better.</p>