cnp55: my husband was very supportive when I drove the dogs 1200 miles each way to compete for a grand total of less than 18 minutes over three days. But then he has driven two days each way so he could spend a week bicycling a hundred miles a day, so he understands crazy.
When we moved to a new city, we made friends through our new church (joined a Bible study and choir) and I joined a women’s organization that does many social activities. I also volunteer once a week and have met some like-minded people. I had to go out of my comfort zone and actually invite people to lunch or over to our house, but it was worth it.
Most of my friends are neighbors. We have a very active neighborhood association mostly centering around various conservation efforts for the local pond. I’ve also met people through our local art association and the coop gallery and painting classes I’ve taken.
I’ve actually been thinking I might get involved again in our religoius organization - we tend to just show up for ushering and hospitality gigs, but we were there today - it was an older crowd since those with kids were probably home celebrating Easter. There were a lot of new people I’d like to get to know better.
Those are all good ideas, some towns have meet-up groups online also for people that like to walk, run, play games,etc. No pressures, you come, if you don’t like it, click with anyone, you don’t come back.
My coworker was lamenting, she’s 63, she mourns not having a really close friend anymore, the type you can call anytime, when your child has a crisis, when you get alarming medical news, a joyful event. She said at her time in life, she mainly has close acquaintances which is fine, but wonders if that type of younger friendship is still possible to obtain as you get older. She told me last week, I can’t wait to retire in 2 years, the drudgery of getting up every day early, working when it’s bad weather, but she will miss dearly the coworkers she likes so much. She said I know we will still do “lunch” but the connections of a shared event will end. I think that is why finding something you love, feel passionate about and can enjoy with others, is a great idea. It might not happen quickly and you might have to try different avenues but you never know when you will meet someone who will enhance your life.
The thing that scares me the most about getting old – I mean, really old – is that I won’t have any friends left and I’ll go days without talking to anyone.
I think that’s why many people move to retirement communities–many neighbors of older age who understand the problems of old age. Stay healthy!
Gouf , it is why my uncle moved to a retirement community in his 80s ‘to be around people and socialize’. He is now 96 and in a nursing home still socializing with a great attitude. He was social all his life. Now that I think about it, he was really good at making friends all along. Very accepting and warm personality.
My dad must be like yours. He’s not in a retirement community. .Over 90 now. But he attracts people to himself with his attitude for life. His mind is very sharp and he just accepts people as they come and enjoys their life experiences.
That was my dad too.
Made my mother nuts.
VeryHappy–drove my mom nuts sometimes too. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.
I’ve been using Meetup . com to find new groups of people. You can join groups by interest, age, location. Great especially if you are moving to a new area to meet people. Pick any interest and you can likely find a new group - or start your own.
I never really became friends with people through kid. I play tennis and have been playing once or twice a week since S was an infant and I stopped working. The women I play with have been my friends since. Some had kids my son’s age but most had kids who were slightly older at the time I started playing. Still friends with the same group - though several are now either snowbirds or snowflakes and so my original group just stopped playing this year, as we were cancelling too many times and couldn’t find subs. So, I play now during the year (indoors at a club) with the women I play with during the summer at my town courts. I play mah jongg once a week, too, with a lot of the same women. We’ve been playing since S was in middle school.
My mom (85) lives in Florida in a golf course community where most everyone is retired or snowbirds - but there are also quite a few of my contemporaries and even younger aged people where she is. She doesn’t play golf anymore but plays bridge and maj jongg and has several games a week. All her friends from up north moved down to Florida at least 20 or so years ago along with parents, so they had an instant social life. Their ranks have decreased but she has quite a few friends from originals left and newer friends who share her interests. My aunts and uncles and a lot of my mom’s cousins also all moved to south Florida so family is/was there, too.