When the kids were younger we met a lot of friends through them and work. Work now has very few new people our age or even close. My good friend I have known now for 23 years just retired yesterday and is moving today to her new retirement home 6 hours from here. A few years ago a really close friend I had had for over 15 years did the same.
I guess my question is two fold-
if you stayed in the same place after retirement how did you meet people who became your friends?
if you moved at retirement how did you meet people who became your friends?
I’ve met a lot of people, some of whom have become friends, through my sport of dog agility. Bizarrely, it’s a sport dominated (even at the level of international competition) by middle-aged women. I’ve met people from all over the country. I am confident that, no matter where I moved, I would meet people who share my love of dogs and dog training, simply by going to some agility matches. It’s interesting to me, as well, because I’ve met people I’d never encounter otherwise–a pediatrician who served in the army in Iraq and is 17 years younger than I am has become a close friend, as has a retired bookkeeper who is 15 years older than me. (And she travels to competitions with a woman who is 40 years younger than she is.)
My husband meets a lot of people through his bicycling club. That recreation seems to attract a lot of 40-60 year old engineers (and sometimes their wives).
I guess my answer boils down to: do something you love doing with a group of other people who also love doing it.
Several of my friends participate in classes at senior centers, and have met others that way, but all have been living in same neighborhood, so after their kids are out, they have more time for their friendships.
I’ve met a lot of people, usually younger, through volunteer activities.
Interesting question. I think I was in my 40’s before I realized that other people actually made new friends as they got older. I certainly met lots of nice people but I think I kept them at arms length, thinking that my HS and college friends were my friends for life. Of course many of those old friends were scattered all over the country by then.
To answer the OP, I have made friends from neighbors and from two community organizations I volunteer for.
I volunteer at a place where I have made a new circle of friends. In addition, I still work as a contract person, and in one place, I’ve worked enough that those folks now include me in their socials.
I’m getting ready to venture back into either community theater or a chorus I’ve been a member of for a while. Both are great fun…and good for meeting new folks.
This thread is very timely for me. I have been out of the workforce for 20 years, the friends knew from my kids activities have moved on and the friends I had through my H’s company are retiring and leaving town. I now realize that the attendance numbers at my funeral might be quite low. Yikes!
Consistent with dm77’s theme, I’ve made many friends, a few of whom have become close, playing club and tournament bridge. DH, who isn’t very social, has also. I know lots of women who, upon retiring, take lessons and start to play and form groups that play and travel to games together. Sometimes they bring their husbands into the game, sometimes not.
Strangely my neighbors are now snow birds, spending the winter (4 months) in Arizona. Living in a rural area is limiting. We do love the outdoors and some meetups in the area look fun and with a diverse population. I guess that having a limited time to explore options while working makes this more difficult.
I got to thinking that the friends that are moving or have moved have to be in the same dilemma. They have to basically start over also but maybe it is easier being the new guy.
Walking my dog! I met my "new"best friend walking my dog.
I also have kept in touch with many of my old friends and try to get together frequently. My Dh and I grew up in the same area where we currently live and raised our kids, so some of our friends go way back.
We are also very involved with supporting a prominent local orchestra (Dh is on board) which gets us into the city and meeting a lot interesting people.
Gotta agree with my CC friend dmd77 – who is my online facebook dog agility friend too! I have met so many wonderful people in agility class and at agility trials. So – sports!
My husband is horrified that I leave at 6 am and show up bedraggled and exhausted at 7 pm and I’ve only competed for a total of maybe 4 minutes (2 dogs). Not counting all the course walks and warm ups and volunteer ring crew assignments, and the dog potty walks. The rest is hanging out with old friends and making new ones as we all celebrate our accomplishments, milestones, and miseries of the day.
In addition, right now I do back to back classes once a week – soon to change as I am retiring (YAY) and will have more time to do conditioning walks, extra classes, special training ops etc. All of which helps me keep fit and active and meet new friends.
I admire all of you active (dog agility) people! I have the same issues…daughter is 3 hrs away, and I am still working fulltime. Or more. Somehow, I should have more time for hobbies than I used to. I used to ride weekly(still have a horse, but she cannot be ridden, is more of a pet), quilt with a group, and had friends that way. Now I come home (usually 7-ish) have dinner with DH and we just watch TV. No socializing!
Just had a chat with Happydad about this issue today at lunch. We moved half-way across the country last summer for his job, and I’ve just wrapped up the end of an online grad program (yes, it is a legitimate one). Other than the people in his workplace, and the people I’ve met while completing my degree requirements, we don’t know anyone in this new city. I hope that once I do have that diploma in hand and enter the job market, I will start to meet people. Right now, if anything happened to us, no one might realize it for days.
