People are always researching this topic. But this being a very involved parent group of high achievers, I wanted to ask you, the people who were there during the development: What was the mojo?? I use the term “smart” liberally. I know there are many definitions. And parenting philosophies vary so much. Looking back, what to your mind were the secrets of success?
- Good genetic material.
- Reading
- Foster curiosity and a love of learning.
Reminds me of an interview Johnny Carson had on the Tonight Show, with Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was young & winning body building championships, where Carson asked him, “what advice would you give a young man who would like to be a world class body builder”, Schwarzenegger thought for a moment & answered " I’d tell that young man to pick his parents carefully"
Being able to follow their interests and progress according their natural abilities, IOW–homeschooling. 
Reading. Exposure to a lot of different opportunities. Parental expectations and support when needed. Activities that promote independent problem solving.
Good genes. A house full of books. Read to them every day even beyond the time where they could read for themselves. Always answered their questions or helped them find the answers. When they were interested in a topic we went off to the library and found out what we could about it. (I now know way more than I ever wanted to about World War II battles, how toilets work, trains, and math puzzles.) When I had a kid who was precocious I made sure the school met his needs. (And homeschooling was always an option - we did end up homeschooling in math for the oldest for a while.) The kid who was behind the program, got the testing and extra help he needed as well. By high school he was all caught up.
Agree that their swimming in the same gene pool probably didn’t hurt. A house focused on learning, following topics of curiosity, and making learning interesting and fun probably helped as well.
As a parent of twins, this is a very interesting question posed! I have a DS who is the overachieving child, the one who is very driven to excel academically, who finds true inspiration in learning and developing his thought processes. He is in the top 5% of his class and will have 8 AP courses by the time he graduates next spring. DD is the classic B student, has very little drive, struggles enormously with the devil that is standardized testing, doesn’t know what major is a match for her, etc. As their mother and an educator with an advanced degree, they were certainly both given all of the essential tools to develop a love of learning. In fact, early on when they began school, it was my DD who excelled and DS was the one struggling. I truly believe it is just something inherent in all of us, what drives us, what motivates us, what defines our own individual definition of success. I still remember the day that my heart dropped down to the pits of my abdomen when my DD declared, “You know, Mom, it is perfectly okay to get a B.” (DS definitely inherited my own overachieving genes . . . I still remember sitting in my adviser’s office in tears convinced that an A- would keep me from getting into grad school.) Even as we embark on this very overwhelming and tedious process of applying to college, DS is pretty self-sufficient, driven, and independent. DD, however, argues with me when I suggest she tackle some test prep that it will put her in a bad mood . . . and berates me for deleting her catalog of Jersey Shore episodes off the the DVR . . . SIGH!!! :-/
“1. Good genetic material.” JustOneDad LOL
Many of us I am sure have the same experience, or know someone that has kids like NJFabFour, very different academically & personality-wise, even though they came from same parents / environment. I see a number of cases where kids may not be a lot like their parents, but show a strong resemblance physically, academically, & personality-wise to another close family member, namely one parent’s brother or sister.
I agree smart is just that - smart genes although - don’t rule out the possibility of you having a smart kid after all even if he is not at 4. Some are just bloomers. Keep trying by setting higher expectations and finding the resources they need to customize their education as much as possible to maximize the chance of their smart genes getting fully utilized.
Setting high expectations, giving them the tools to achieve those expectations, associating with peers that have similar expectations, putting the needs of the children before the wants of the parents, not passing on the responsibility of raising/educating children to others that are only concerned about your children reaching your state’s “minimum standards.” Finding ways to let each individual child be an individual and excel in their unique abilities.
Luck
- Good genes
- Reading reading reading
- THE RIGHT FRIENDS. Especially in the HS years. Smart, competitive, driven friends have done more for my son than I ever could have imagined.
Lazy parents
The smartest person I ever met in college said the secret was learning to read by age four, so when my daughter was four I sent her to Kumon reading lessons. She learned in a couple of months, and became an avid reader. She was always in the top 1% nationally in academics from elementary through high school on all standardized tests. I don’t fully credit Kumon though or the foresight to send her there and buy all the books – she was also speaking by age seven months, despite being born three months premature, so I think genes get credit as well, and God gets the most credit because it’s a miracle everything she survived.
Mirakuru!
Genes, environment, personality, and luck. What everyone else has said on this thread.
Some of my favorite parenting stories are from Richard Feynman. I love when he talks about the influence of his dad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjm8JeDKvdc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga_7j72CVlc
He also tells the story of how when he was 10 he was waiting for a calculus book to arrive at his library and he felt sheepish that he had to fib when they asked why he wanted the book. He told them it was for his dad.
I agree that genetics sure seems to have a lot to do with it, along with being in an environment where natural curiosity can be fostered by getting useful answers to the many questions that little kids have (or parents who ask deeper questions to help kids think their way to answers that are within reach). My son seemed naturally interested in math and science from an early age and often surprised me with his insights. (Is this a place where we can share precocious young child anecdotes? 'Cause I don’t have a good place for that where it isn’t bragging, and I don’t think he’s going to apply anyplace where they ask for a parent recommendation letter.)
I agree about plenty of reading. Also, talking to the young child in ways appropriate to their level and that challenge them. I think there is a growing body of research showing a correlation between the amount and vocabulary level of spoken words addressed to a kid with their performance in early grades.
Seems like I read a lot of birth order anecdotes similar to ours. S17 has always been driven to learn more and be better at most everything academic. D21 scored essentially the same as him on the 3rd grade OLSAT, which was pretty much the only IQish test they’ve taken. (S took a couple for CTY.) However, despite having about the same raw score and seeming naturally better at the spatial visualization stuff they like to test for IQ, she isn’t “pushy” about learning more. She was happy to do what the teachers asked through elementary. (He wasn’t.) She started junior high this year, and seems more interested in doing well at math and English than I’d expected, so things may turn around. She currently wants to be an author, because that isn’t an area where her brother is likely to compete with her, even though he’s a good writer. She’s even stated that as her reason explicitly. She also has a wider interest in popular music, movies, and media, which I guess is supposed to be typical for girls. Son is more like me (mom) in that his interest in media is generally confined to nerdy stuff–XKCD, Lord of the Rings, etc.