"Did you think that maybe your child would have done well without doing all their homework? "
-How? If the homework is graded and the goal is an A and it is achieved, then how one get to the same goal without doing all their work? This one needs an explanation. All As were the goal because of the plan to apply to the very selective programs (more selective than Ivy’s by account of many, but I do not know statistics). The goal of all As is also practically a must for pre-med at college or dream of Med. School will most likely be derailed. Do you want to risk your goals? Then, do not do your homework. This is as simple as that.
Now one seems to be conflating primary/secondary grades with college grades. These are separate issues. I course students should do their homework, but with respect to the topic of this thread it is much ado about nothing.
Except for one, I don’t think parents here are talking about doing homework and thus magically being “smart.” It’'s simplistic to say, just do it and you are. A kid could practice piano on schedule, satisfy the teacher, and never be Mozart. A kid with the good grades in the right subjects may get into med school- and not be a brilliant doctor. Or individual. Parents here are talking about more than following rules.
And we’re certainly not griping about the school system (I think only one has-?) and then saying just getting A’s is all it takes.
To answer the original question, I had read that eating seafood during pregnancy increases the baby’s IQ. So I did.
Both daughters have a gifted IQ. I ate more seafood during the second pregnancy than the first. Second child’s IQ is higher than the first. This is not scientific, but I love to tell this story whenever anyone asks what we did to get such great kids! LOL
I have two kids…daughter is a freshman at Vassar and my son is a sophomore in HS. Both are exceptionally bright and high-achieving. I give the genetic nod to my wife there! Obviously that has to be a part of the equation. Both my wife and I have college degrees and then beyond that (wife has two Masters Degrees). I think this helps the children of educated people (discounting the genetic component) in two ways:
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Shows that we value education, and that comes through in our daily interaction with our children. I went to high school with a kid who was off the charts genius. His parents were not only not college educated, but they devalued formal education and often talked disparagingly about those who went to college. Messed him up a bit as he then had trouble with drugs and eventually never went to college. His needs were net met, and it’s a real shame. He deserves some blame for that, but he was not given the proper environment in which to thrive.
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When our kids learned to speak, they didn’t ever have to unlearn poor grammar like the use of double negatives, etc. That is a huge thing and a real advantage.
We read to them both a LOT when they were little. This is a key thing and a common answer among many here. Beyond just the academic part of it though, I think there’s a bonding with child and parent and only helps them down the line in all ways. When our daughter was just 12 months old and not really speaking yet, I was reading an “I Spy” book to her when she put it together that everything in her world had a name. She had just begun walking and she excitedly led me around the house pointing to things so that I would tell her what it was. It was like a Helen Keller moment.
Two smart kids from the same household, but both very different. Daughter is more of a perfectionist. She is the most organized person I have ever met, and she is gleeful when she organizes something (notebooks for school, closets, cupboards, anything). Son is the absolute opposite of that. He relies on his memory about what was said in class rather than detailed notes. He is slowly getting the idea though that even for him, a little bit better organization and attention to detail is going to be necessary. That was automatic for my daughter. He has had to learn that a bit.
Some of the best people I know though aren’t the smartest. Having a smart kid is great, but I’m even more interested to see how they turn out as adults. For them I would choose happiness and being able to love others and be loved as higher on the list than academic or professional achievement.
It occurs to me that we could have an interesting discussion on ways kids can make themselves SEEM smarter than they actually are, which might be really helpful in achieving success. Obvious examples might be doing a lot of prep before standardized tests, but others might be things like taking an elocution class.
Actually, high school grades are among the best predictors of first-year college grades—and certainly better at it than scores on standardized tests.
This topic makes me laugh.
First off, my D is no genius but she is bright, hardworking and exceptionally good at reading social cues. She’s also very stubborn.
I read to/with her constantly throughout her childhood; she hated to read. We did lots of science-y things with her (H and I are both scientists); she had aptitude for it but refused to seriously consider any science field for a career. She refused to take music lessons for more than a year or two, although her piano teacher said she had an aptitude for that too. We exposed her to art, music, museums,you name it and we traveled extensively with her - but in truth, we did all that as much for ourselves as we did for any parenting reason.
In middle school and high school she often ran with the “bad” (semi-bad?) crowd. She didn’t always behave or listen. She sure wasn’t an academic superstar.
And yet: in high school, her physics teacher told me on Parent’s Night that D was the only student in his 20+ years of teaching who correctly solved a spatial puzzle/brain teaser that he uses as an ice-breaker on the first day of class. Recently, she scored among the top 5% of all test-takers when she passed her CPA exams. She’s obviously smart, but more important to me, she’s thoughtful, kind, and empathetic.
Face it. Our kids are just who they are. Sure, reading/talking/no TV/good nutrition/music lessons/“valuing education” are good things, and they are valuable in their own right, but do they “cause” children to be smart? I don’t believe it. I think genes and luck - maybe luck most of all - are the prevailing factors.
And I think it’s funny (but not surprising on a college site) that the question isn’t “how did your kid become such a great person?” but “how did your kid become so smart?”
I feel like I could have written what Stepay wrote, except my son is a freshman at Vassar 
And ultimately that last paragraph, “…choose happiness and being able to love…” is the most important thing.
@wcmom1958 - Sounds cool!
"Actually, high school grades are among the best predictors of first-year college grades—and certainly better at it than scores on standardized tests. "
-College grades were exactly the same for my D. as her HS grades, except at college she got 3 A- in singing classes of her music minor, where she had to sing with music majors who had the voice coaching prior to college. These 3 A- lowered her college GPA to 3.98. But she never had a single B from kindergarten thru graduating from college, so grades were the same. Standardized test were also about the same with Reading / Verbal dragging scores down in every test until this section was not on the test. Still how anybody can assess that other is “great person” or “smart” is beyond me. Some people are lazy and others are hard working, this fact is relatively measurable - grades are the measure. All As does not mean at all that person is some kind of genius, but it does mean that person is hard working, not genius can achieve all As without hard work.
Now if we could only develop some objective measure of “how much homework was done,” we could save millions in standardized testing, admissions committees, interviews for job applicants, resume preparation, etc. I kid, I kid … :))
" 2) When our kids learned to speak, they didn’t ever have to unlearn poor grammar like the use of double negatives, etc. That is a huge thing and a real advantage."
We mostly did not speak English with our kids at home and if we did - it was English with bad grammar and pronunciation. It did not stop them from getting 800CR on the SAT.
Had to post in this thread as it qualifies my kids to be so darn smart!
@CCDD14 Multiple languages from an early age is a known leg up. My mom was so worried when we put kiddo into Spanish immersion. “How will he ever learn English properly!?” In practice it just seemed to boost everything - especially when it came to acquiring more languages beyond the first two.
Lots of good comments here already. Some kids come with a temperament that makes them more academically curious. I think a key is recognizing that and supporting it in the way that parents might support the athleticism they see in another child. My D was a reader early on, and was just interested in things. So, the vast majority of toys in our house were educational…and she liked those. I felt that if the kid is going to do a puzzle, it might as well be a U.S. map rather than a picture of Sponge Bob. 
The same goes for TV…educational kids’ programming, educational documentaries…and talking about them…and lots and lots of books.
I wasn’t going to write a comment since it seemed a little braggy to me to be suggesting that my kids were “so darn smart”.
So instead, I’ll just say that if you really want to know the answer, y’all should consult the real experts … my parents. 
"Now if we could only develop some objective measure of “how much homework was done” - that is developed. Simply, ALL homework should be done, and done correctly (correct answers in all problems, all requirements are met in written paper, all notes / books read / reviewed, EVERYTHING is understood, no concept is missed, ALL questions are answered. Subject wise, it is different from kid to kid. Talking about HS, I practically never saw my D. doing math, Spanish, chem. at home. couple times she had physics questions and maybe couple times math questions. She never went to school with questions that were still open. She mentioned many times that I cannot explain and teacher explains much better, but she took my explanations. All easy classes were done during study hall, breaks, whatever. Most of her HS homework time ( I remember only senior year, though) was devoted to AP Literature, constantly re-writing her papers trying to reach perfection and college US History, that was taught at her school. History has been her hardest class in HS (understandably so, as she was not interested in leisurely read) . How much, you asked? Hours and hours of discussions with her father until the concept is clear in her head, If one has a goal of an A, then do whatever it takes to get it. Do not get me wrong, D. was in numerous unrelated ECs and her sport practice was taking at least 3 hrs / day, including weekends with many out of town meets.
Again, everybody is different. Some would need to spend more time doing math. And the others may not be interested in having all As, just as simple as that. My S. was this way, and then what could you do? How much he did at home?----not so much. He pulled better grades at college because his co-op program did not have many general study classes, he was doing a lot of art in his Graphic Design program, and that what he choose to do. He was on Dean’s list many times though.
@MiamiDAP, was “I kid, I kid” followed by a :)) emoticon too subtle?
@ccdd14 - Well, English as a second language is a different deal. I’m betting you spoke with proper grammar in your native language. THAT’S the thing that is important. Admiration for anyone who comes to the US already knowing another language and needing to learn English.
Pet peeve: Not poor grammar, but rather non-standard grammar. What is described as “poor grammar” in the quote is actually just as rule-governed and complex (and internally consistent!) as standardized varieties of the language, it just happens to not be one of the varieties widely used by most of the socially powerful of the moment.
(And yes, it’s certainly socially advantageous to have command of a standardized variety—but it’s not an inherent disadvantage to speak a non-standard one, and perhaps most advantageous to have both.)