How do empty nest moms spend their day ?

<p>I only work part time ,and volunteer a few nights a week . Curious what other empty nest moms do during the day (or night ).</p>

<p>I switched from freelance work to a full-time job. And later on, when the kids were truly gone (meaning out of college, working, and not living with us any more), I started doing some freelance work on top of the full-time job. There are not all that many more years until retirement, after all. This is the time to accumulate as much money as possible, and I’m certainly not going to accumulate it by earning interest on my savings.</p>

<p>On the free-time side, weeknight evenings, here’s what I’ve actually done, as compared to wishing I’d done:</p>

<p>paid closer attention to extended family, including frail elderly parents (was 4, now 2), up to and including hospice care partnership</p>

<p>cheered for or advise young adults, upon request; travel to visit them without paying airfares around school holidates (much better) </p>

<p>increased contact with some old friends and long-lost cousins whom I genuinely like </p>

<p>added weeknight activities that require homework or practice between sessions (adult choir; musical accompanist for a children’s choir)</p>

<p>tried a few classes and workshops just to satisfy my curiosity (country line dancing, fancy shmancy cooking)</p>

<p>took a class on Ebay selling, now setting it up; am preparing to downsize but want some monetary return on our ‘good’ stuff</p>

<p>continued same runabout social activities for H’s work, but enjoy them all more</p>

<p>Two book clubs, Bunco, scrapbooking classes and weekend retreats, more trips to the cabin, reading, planned D1’s wedding, remodeled lower level, painted extra bedrooms, played on my new laptop, shopped, made crafts, loving pinterest and checking in here at CC!</p>

<p>Work, read, write, bike, kayak, walk, cook (more from scratch), enjoy time with H, see friends. Same things as before, but more time for them --yay!</p>

<p>Also took some online classes, which I did not have time for before.</p>

<p>Grinding away at a professional job to make up for what we paid in tuition and lost in investments. That’s my daytime occupation.
Agree with paying more attention to elderly parents who live out of town and visit very frequently (involves airfare on my part).<br>
Built and moved into the “final” house this year.<br>
Try to figure out why I can’t run as fast as I did 30 or 20 or 10 or 2 years ago!</p>

<p>I am actually getting to enjoy the kittens more now than when they were all in high school. Spent all that time running from one thing to another for all of them. Now that they have all come back into the area I get to see them more at a leisurely pace. Sometimes we all get together and between the 5 and their significant others it is still crazy.</p>

<p>But when I meet up with them one on one for different things, moving in to a new house, white coat ceremony, lunch/dinner, getting a tour of their new workplace or grad program campus it is so much more enjoyable than going a hundred miles an hour with my hair on fire! I remember how tired I was when they were all in high school and college, now its great.</p>

<p>When son moved into his new place we ended up painting it together and searching craig’s list and driving all over to furnish it last summer. Had a blast. Drove all over NC in our old truck throwing things in the back. I don’t think I ever laughed so hard at all the crazy things we saw and did. Daughter was moving into her new house with fiance’ at the same time so we went around collecting “stuff” for her as well.</p>

<p>Best time ever!! (except when I spilled the paint all over myself) not so much fun, but the kittens thought it was highly entertaining</p>

<p>I love picking out drapes, furniture, dishes, linens…especially when the kittens were paying!! It became a tresure hunt to who could find the most interesting, out-there “stuff” for the cheapest price…they are all still arguing who got the “best” deal!</p>

<p>I was so sad and pouty when they all went away (far,far away) for undergrad and missed them all so terribly! it was pathetic…bawled like a baby most of the time…but they all have come back in some way (some only temporary) and I am back in heaven. Middle son picked his med school about 40 minutes away so he will be around until his residency…maybe gone for a year for his MBA…but he will be back to finish his MD (maybe he’ll just stay here for it, crossing my fingers).</p>

<p>Soooooooooooooooo…neighbors across the street had a baby boy last year and they both work (he’s deployed as well) and they needed someone and that someone is ME! baby, baby…he’s adorable and well, can I say so smart all ready???</p>

<p>Kat
hears the new kitten meowing…</p>

<p>hey Kat, It is SO nice to hear your update! I have enjoyed reading about your kittens for years,and it sounds like it has turned out well for all of them. Your strategies for maximizing college opportunities and minimizing costs are good ones! :-)</p>

<p>Never heard a mom refer to kids as “kittens” .</p>

<p>Just about the time my nest emptied, my aging parents started requiring a lot more of my time and attention. They’re much harder to care for than my D ever was.</p>

<p>What she said ^^^^^^^</p>

<p>I am, thankfully, not an empty nester yet, but we’re starting to think about the issue. Last baby will go to high school in the fall and is a (for lack of a bettter term) “recruited musician” so he will have a lot of commitments at school in terms of rehearsal and performance. Which has led to two issues: first, I’ve been home for the last two weeks using vacation time. I haven’t taken more than a long weekend at a time in about 8 years, so with him in school I’ve had waaaay too much time on my hands. As a result, I’ve been having serious anxiety, ruminating about things that happened years ago, and generally being miserable. I don’t think I could be at home this way and retain any sanity. The other issue concerns my husband. He is obese and tends to eat even more when he is bored. When PBK (PreciousBabyKing) goes to high school in the fall, my husband won’t be running around like a crazy person for the first time in 20 years. He generally gets home from work around 10 am and my son and I will get home around 6 pm. I am worried sick about how much eating/tv watching my husband will do in those hours. </p>

<p>Which is a roundabout way of saying that I’m eagerly reading this thread and looking for ideas.</p>

<p>My plan is for S1 to get married and have a baby by the time D goes to college. I suppose I need to get him on board with this idea :slight_smile: Actually, he has a 4.5 yr gf, so maybe…</p>

<p>I was an absolute basket base when S1 left for college. I usually have a really difficult time with something the 1st time through, then get better. Hopefully so. We will be adrift; I know it. I also know how lucky I am, as S1 and S2 live/will live in the immediate area. In the summer, we’ll spend entirely too much time mowing 5 acres. Yuck.</p>

<p>My parents are only 20 years older, in good health, and more energetic than me. Maybe they’ll come keep me company.</p>

<p>My mom does the same things she’s done for the last 15 years (I guess she’s been an “empty nester” for 3 years…). </p>

<p>She works full time. Comes home, has a glass of wine or two or three, plays euchre online or reads or watches tv, goes to bed.</p>

<p>She will probably do that until the day she retires. Her parents both died when she was in her early 30s so no chance of her having to take on aging parents. </p>

<p>My parents’ lives haven’t changed at all since they became empty nesters. Except now they spend less on food :)</p>

<p>ETA: I forgot that my mom take the pit bull on an hour walk every morning now. They both need time away from grandpa. My mom says she can’t wait until I have kids because it’ll give dad a new hobby. He can’t work much because of his disability so she gets a little too much of him. She likes when he’s out of the house.</p>

<p>I think I inherited from my Mom an appreciation for solitude. I love my people, but I am perfectly happy to be by myself, or just with H. </p>

<p>My Mom, who retired 15 years ago, when she was 67, lives alone, reads, shops, watches her favorite shows, but otherwise keeps the TV off, and generally still seems to appreciate the calm that her life mostly is. She was widowed very young (43) and I think that after many years of working very hard, single parenthood, money worries, etc. she’s very happy for the calm. She has a few friends she keeps in touch with, talks to us 3 kids semi-daily, and overall, seems to enjoy her empty nest a lot, even at 82.</p>

<p>

This is genius, I tell you!</p>

<p>I also love Kat’s borrowed kitten.</p>

<p>During S2’s junior year of HS, my mother had a serious stroke and had to be admitted to a nursing home. Dealing with her care has occupied alot of my time since then. </p>

<p>Like garland, I appreciate solitude when I can have a relaxing cup of tea, read, do crossword puzzles and block out the rest of the world.</p>

<p>Today, I spent an hour walking along the beach in mid-60 degree weather. Never would have had time to do that when the kids were at home!</p>

<p>The NY Times crossword puzzle
Reading CC</p>

<p>Have been giving this serious thought, as I am about 18 months away from the empty nest and am a single mom. I have decided that I would like to earn a Bachelor of Science degree once the nest is empty. I studied “practical” stuff as an undergraduate and graduate, but have a great interest in science. So I am taking aim at a minimum of a BS, and possibly a master/PhD and/or career change after D2 graduates from college (have to pay the bills until then). Either physics or biology, not sure which yet. Moving pretty slowly to start with, so there is time to plan & consider options. I also may be able to blend my current career skills with a science degree, so will think about that.</p>

<p>So I am starting the process now of refreshing my math skills via self-study to get back to the point where I can take Calc I (or maybe even Calc II - I took Calc I as an undergraduate many years ago and got a good grade, but haven’t used it since… not sure if I can refresh myself thru Calc I on my own or if I will need to take a class – I will see how pre-calc self study goes). Obviously will take Calc II and probably more math, just a question of whether I want to pay the credit fees to take Calc I again. Will start with some evening classes as an extension student at our flagship U in our city (transferable to a degree program at same university, I checked) once D is off at college, and we will see how it goes.</p>

<p>I am very excited about this, and a lot of the “empty nest dread” I was feeling has lifted over the past several weeks as I have researched and started executing this plan. </p>

<p>Maybe I will also get a cat. :)</p>