I go to a community college. I thought it would make me happier to be around people, but I feel sadder. I feel like I’m an invisible extra in a movie. I’m surrounded by sociable people with their friends and it makes me feel more alone. There’s occasional small talk, but that’s it. Not many events at all, and it seems like everyone is busy. I also feel fat and awkward in public.
I typically just go to my classes, come home, study, eat dinner, tv/computer and then bed. I wish I could be energetic and talk to people, but oftentimes, I feel either overwhelmed by daily life tasks or I’m focused on my school work that day. There hasn’t been much interaction. One girl flirted with me really hard, and I didn’t know how to respond, so the conversation kind of died out. Other than that, barely anything at all.
@jduster , first, you need to give yourself a break. Social interaction affects different people in different ways. In a very general sense, extroverts get energy by being around people whereas introverts expend energy being around people. Don’t beat yourself up for how you feel!
If you’d like company and don’t want to feel awkward, you may need to choose your activities so that you will actually be doing something rather than waiting to have a conversation. Have you thought about getting a job or volunteering somewhere? Taking classes at a gym or getting involved with a faith community? Joining a chess club or taking a cooking class? Anything where the interaction is planned and you have some interest.
Putting yourself out there is hard. You’ve proven you can do that. You have also shown that you are in touch with how you feel and are aware. Just keep tinkering with the venue and you’ll get it right.
I’m sure you know HOW to break the cycle, it’s just doing it that’s the hard part.
Often times introverted people can get into vicious cycles; keep to yourself > make fewer friends > get invited to fewer events > go out less > keep to yourself etc.
There really is no easy way to break this. However, if you do want to put yourself in a non-judgmental situation to meet new people, follow @gardenstategal advice. Clubs, clubs, clubs. Can’t stress it enough. That’s what they’re there for. They cut through the BS of having to find people compatible with, because you all already like the same thing!
It’s the first step to reversing the cycle. Good luck.