<p>How do I deal with a roommate that makes me want to punch her in the face every time she talks to me? I recently had a major surgery because of a large tumor. I am still recovering from it and the large scar makes it obvious I am not lying about it. I cannot kneel because the tumor was underneath my kneecap. This obviously makes it hard for me to sleep on the top hunk. However, she didn’t allow me to have the bottom bunk. She didn’t even give me a reason why. She just left a note on my desk. There is a mirror on her side of the room that came with the room. She won’t let me use it because it is on her side and therefore belongs to her only. She wants me to buy a mirror for myself even though cheval mirrors cost $100 and I don’t even have enough money to go home to visit my family during Thanksgiving. She keeps complaining about how messy my side of the room is even though I keep it neat and her desk is so messy that you cannot even see the wood, let alone be able to do any work on it. She moves my things without permission, and one day when she moved my desk and lots of things fell, she didn’t do anything about it. She didn’t even tell me what she did. I just came into the room with my desk a complete mess and with her just sitting there watching a drama on her laptop. She says I am incredibly lazy and don’t do chores even though I am the one who vacuums every week and takes out the trash and recycling. When I vacuum, I even vacuum her side of the room. When she FaceTimes her friend, she talks extremely loudly and even with headphones, I can hear her constantly talking smack about people. When I ask her to do something extremely small for me, like allow me to close the blinds a bit because the sun is right in my eye and I really need to study, she says no because then there “wouldn’t be enough light in the room” to watch her drama. She doesn’t allow me to use the printer at night because she “is trying to sleep” and the printer is too loud. However, I know she isn’t sleeping becaue she is playing with her phone. Every time she talks to me, it is in a condescending tone, as if I should be guilty about my every action. She talks smack about me with the rest of the suite right outside my door. She invited people into our room to laugh at the normal things on my desk, like my hair detangler and the beige case I have on one of my electronics. When I closed a window because it was too cold, she immediately got up to open it again because it was “too hot.” She was wearing a very thick sweater. She does the same thing when I open the window, and she closes it immediately after. That time, she was in her bikini. (It’s not even summertime. It’s almost winter.) When my roommates are sleeping, I try to open and close the door quietly. However, when she is awake, she feels the need to slam doors. When I ask her to do some small thing for me, she looks at me like I’m insane to want to try to not do things 100% her way. I don’t need to say that she wouldn’t oblige my requests. I have been using the “kill them with kindness” method, but I don’t know how long I can continue to be polite and cordial to her. I would talk to her with a genuine smile on my face and she would talk back to me with a sneer.</p>
<p>I don’t want to involve my RA or a counselor because I don’t want her to know of my loathe of her. We are in a triple and for some reason, she is nice to the other girl. I get along well with my other roommate. I have no idea why she picks on me. All of my friends agree that she is a b****, though. I don’t know what to do, and I am nearing the end of my rope. Someone please help??</p>
<p>Sorry, but YOU do need to get the RA involved in this matter. If the room contains shared items, like the mirror then you have every right to those items, no matter if it’s on her side of the room. You are paying the same rates as she is for the room. She is going to or is trying to get you to leave on your own by making it difficult for you.</p>
<p>The first thing I would do is contact housing/health center and tell them that you had surgery and need to sleep a bed on the floor. You have asked your roommate but she will not switch. What should you do?</p>
<p>YOU MUST TALK TO YOUR RA. That is what they are here for.</p>
<p>"RA, I was wondering if you could help me in how to work some things out with my roommate.When I closed a window because it was too cold, she immediately got up to open it again because it was "too hot’, although she was wearing a sweater.</p>
<p>She doesn’t allow me to use the printer at night because she “is trying to sleep” and the printer is too loud. I am trying to use it at X:00. However, she is playing with her phone, and not sleeping.</p>
<p>She moves my desk, causing things to fall over, but does not pick them up or apologize.</p>
<p>There is a mirror on her side of the room that came with the room. She will not let me use it.</p>
<p>When my roommates are sleeping, I try to open and close the door quietly. However, when she is awake, she often slam doors. </p>
<p>Some people don’t give a crap about others. However, if you are recovering from surgery and can’t use the top bunk without jeopardizing your health, get the RA and if necessary the university’s disability services involved.</p>
<p>UPDATE: I tried to talk to the RA, but she said that technically, since my room agreed not to share our stuff, I can’t do anything about it. (However, when I meant share our stuff, I meant personal belongings. Not things we paid for when we paid for our room.) Also, there is very limited housing in this campus. It’s hard to move. If I do move, it will take a car to transport things because that housing would be at least a mile away. (I do not have a car.) The triple I’m in only has one lower bunk bed because for the third girl, her desk is under her bed. I can’t complain about health because a) I missed the deadline for it, and b) I can get up without pain if I crawl without kneeling. (Basically, I walk with my crawl touching the ceiling. Not very comfortable, but doable.)</p>
<p>I just noticed though that my rude roommate has never been polite with me when not in front of parents. I just want to get through the rest of the year. Any tips?</p>
<p>Sorry, I think you may be exaggerating…any school would accommodate you with a surgical issue. A mirror is not 100 dollars, get one from target for 10. If you need to move, the school will assist you. S it or get off the pot…you are an adult now.!</p>
<p>I want to use a full length mirror, and the ones at target require glue or nails to hang. I cannot do that or I wouldn’t get my security deposit back. This is why I would need a cheval mirror, and those cost, on average, $100. I tried calling the school about it, and they said they will not do something about it is a problem “you can fix yourself.”</p>
<p>The mirror issue is stupid. Stop worrying about it. If the RA won’t deal with the bed issue given your recent surgery, then you need to go over the RA’s head to the housing authority. But to me it sounds like you took the stupid issue (mirror) to the RA, not the one that is a health problem (bed). Straighten out your priorities and your backbone. You CAN ask about moving/room swaps at winter break. Sometimes rooms open up because of people studying abroad or leaving the college at winter break.</p>
<p>Consider using picture frame strips (command) from Target if you’re seriously concerned about the mirror. But actually, if you’re suffering for health related reasons, talk to your RA, Graduate Resident, or Housing office. Immediately.</p>
<p>And meet with the counselor on campus. The counselor will help you and not involve the roommate. Don’t worry about that one. Sorry you’re in this situation. It sucks.</p>