<p>My senior daughter is going through some major blahs. Normally she is pretty even-keeled and has a pleasant disposition but she has been complaining of irritability, loss of appetite, sadness and lack of focus. I’m thinking that the stress of college applications is a factor but I also wonder whether it is a hormonal issue. I’ve scheduled an appointment with the gyn, but the earliest available time is in a month. In the meantime, I’m not sure how to best help my daughter. I was hoping that the wisdom of CC posters would be able to give me some insight. Thanks.</p>
<p>from what we have seen both here, at home, and from others who have been sharing, this is extremely common during senior year…</p>
<p>it’s a good idea to check it out medically, but, alot of it has to do with the reality that has struck many of these kids that they will be leaving the comforts of home, school, etc next year…</p>
<p>add to that, the stress of the apps, interviews, etc…and it exacerbates everything…</p>
<p>plus, if your daughter attends a school (like most) where this is all anyone is talking about 24/7…</p>
<p>net-net: you are not alone…let us all know how this turns out…</p>
<p>The myth of senior year (yay, I’m a senior!!) is just that…a myth…the only advice I can give to you is to have empathy…when my daughter was feeling this about two weeks ago, I verbalized her feelings for her and let her vent (cry, scream etc.)…basically told her that the first semester of senior year is probably one of the most stressful communal experiences she will ever face…</p>
<p>“yes, there are individual stresses in your life that may affect you but when else will you be in a group environment where everyone is freaking out about the same thing?”…</p>
<p>We’re all with you! My D has her “down” days, too. She’s pulling herself out pretty well so far, but it’s rough sometimes. She appreciates our kindness - backrubs, easing off on nagging - but doesn’t want to talk too much about it. She said last night she knew she was just tired and overwhelmed, and I think knew that if she’d let go she would have worked herself into a tizzy. Best just to watch a funny movie and relax. </p>
<p>I’m glad she had the down time - and sometimes she’ll just have to make time for that. She’s not a real type-A person, so I know she’ll drop things if she can’t stand them. One thing I kind of wished she would have done was to turn off her phone - sometimes I feared the texts going back and forth weren’t helping, but I guess she wanted to talk to people. And she got up OK today, ready for “more.” That’s an important sign that she’s still got the stamina for everything.</p>
<p>One thing a lot of these kids do right now is start a new relationship - she has, somewhat to her surprise, and fundamentally I think it really benefits her. I think last night was depressing because they couldn’t get together, and a little hug-time on the couch would have been a nice thing. Luckily he’s not likely to increase her stress - he’s a junior, very busy, but not doing college stuff, and has a very level-headed disposition, very cheery. She’s a young senior, so they’re similar in age. Sometimes I worry that it’s one more thing - and definitely a time-sucker - but it does make her happy. </p>
<p>But then on the other side there’s the GF who’s jealous, of losing my D’s time and also because she doesn’t have a BF, the usual deal. But she’s a good support in the college stuff; she stresses more than my D, which helps keep things in perspective and also challenges my D to keep up.</p>
<p>We’ll all hang in there together. We can’t make it go away, just help ride it out. Real depression or serious problems will have their signs - these “senior blues” should have their cure in the passage of time, and completion of stressful tasks. My guess is your D is normal, maybe some “regular” hormone stuff, but probably all just part of the passage. I’ve had one go through this already, and I remember all of these phases.</p>
<p>A wise older mom of 5 said there’s a period of time when you just don’t think you can live with them, usually around this senior year phase. But we all move on; I have faith in that.</p>
<p>Rodney, your point is excellent. Thank you. I think feeling alone - which of course they’re not, and we’re not - is usually the worst part of the blues, and the easiest rectified. I guess that’s why CC was born!</p>
<p>IMHO IMHO IMHO
Why don’t you take your daughter to her pediatrician or family doctor?
They can better evaluate your daughter’s general health.
I find it odd and disturbing and that you made a gynecological appointment for your daughter because of her current mental state of mind.
Who would you turn to if your son had the same “blues”?</p>
<p>^^Bat: some people use their ob/gyn like a family physician; not saying that this is the case with the OP but just throwing that out there…</p>
<p>Batllo, you make a good point. I will make an appointment with her pediatrician as well just to make sure that she is in good health. I may be totally off base, but I was suspecting that maybe these were PMS symptoms. As a perimenopausal mom, I am keenly aware of the effect of hormonal levels and my mood. Anyway, my main concern is that she is suffering from depression and I wanted to rule that out by checking her hormone levels.</p>
<p>Thanks Rodney and EmmyBet. I feel encouraged by your posts. I am hoping that this is just a temporary phase and that with our support, she’ll be able to work through this.</p>
<p>Regular exercise is often recommended as a mood stabilizer. Go for a run, take a spin class on a regular basis, etc. Sometimes this falls by the wayside when there is always something else competing for time and attention.</p>
<p>Bogibogi, I was sent here from another thread because I’d said my dau is going thru some of the same stuff you relate.</p>
<p>She is in 12th gr & in midst of this hellish college app cr.p. We’ve been thru it before and as a parent I have to say it never gets easier. Now there is Naviance & the Common App to add to the confusion. </p>
<p>And of course nonstop texting of the kids’ anxieties to each other, and one kid’s parents won’t let her go to any school but the one they met at (it is the State U so it costs less too) and they are giving her grief over going to a church youth group that is not-of-their-denomination (she wants to because her friends go) — and then Friend B is having issues with some teacher—and Friend C wants to join the Marines instead of go to college bec the kids at his school tease him & he feels he has to prove himself (not that there is anything wrong with the Marines, but that is not the right reason to enlist), and it goes on all the time. Facebook & the cellphone don’t help them, I think. With the oldest, 13 yr ago, these were not options and the kids actually were not listening to minute by minute accounts of their friends’ issues the entire time they were at home. They were free to do their own homework, or even relax with a hobby, walk the dog, do a puzzle with baby sis. </p>
<p>My own dau came to me saying she felt she was depressed, and we went to the family dr, got a couple of recommendations for local counselors. First appt has not happened yet, but if some sessions with these guys give her some perspective, I say let’s do it (I do think partly it is PMS, and partly it is this very stressful period – and partly, who knows, if she has some depression, she wd not be the first one who did).</p>
<p>She has told me that it is a relief to get home, where her cat greets her and only wants to be held & not blab about college apps, APs, SATs, ACTs: it’s all they talk about all day long.</p>
<p>bhmomma, now that you mention it, the lack of exercise may be a factor. A knee injury has sidelined her from playing tennis, so she is not getting the physical activity that she is used to.</p>
<p>I think the best thing that I can do is to take some of the talking points…application stress will be temporary, technological distractions should be limited, this is a huge milestone, your body may be messing with your mind…and try to help her “rationalize” why she may be feeling this way. She is a pretty reasonable girl so I hope that she can at least understand and try to cope with the situation. Or just allow her to cry and comfort her as best as I can.</p>
<p>JRZMom, good luck with the counselor session. I hope it is helpful.</p>
<p>Thanks all for sharing.</p>
<p>bogibogi, re-reading your first post, it reads exactly like a description of depression. How long has it been going on? If she’s been this way for several weeks it’s probably not hormonal.</p>
<p>My D suffered from this occasionally in hs. Freshman year, it was a downward spiral that started with a social/friendship issue. She couldn’t focus in class and her grades slipped which made her even more upset. She eventually started doing things that were out of character for her, in an attempt to make herself feel better. At that point, we took her to see a counselor. She didn’t really like that, but having someone non-judgemental to talk to, other than her parents, was helpful. After about 2 - 3 months of weekly visits, she was ok again. </p>
<p>It cropped up 2 more times - very briefly - fall and spring of senior year. Both times I think it was related to medication she was taking - actually particular brands of medication. Both times it started shortly after a change to a generic pill, and it went away within a week of returning to the name brand. Normally I’m all about generics, but for this pill it was a problem for D. </p>
<p>Your pediatrician may be able recommend a good adolescent counselor. It’s worth the money - and I say that from experience! It’s so scary to see your normally happy teen lose the ability to get joy from life. When she becomes like a shadow of herself and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time, when every time she comes home from school you hold your breath to see how she is today - then it’s definitely time for help.</p>
<p>Piggle’s mom replying
Ask pediatrician to check her thyroid levels as well . Many times thyroid problems will present as lack of energy, irritability & mood changes in teens.</p>
<p>Lafalum84, I’m worried that it could be depression. I didn’t notice anything unusual until this week, but she says that she’s been feeling down for the past month. She had a total meltdown tonight…crying while doing homework and instigating arguments with family members…so uncharacteristic of her. I will be calling the pediatrician first thing in the morning and will be sure to ask for a counselor referral and to have her thyroid level checked (thanks Piggle’s mom). Desperate for some answers…</p>
<p>I’m a mom of boys, but I know this year is so full of ups and downs. Right now is the real crunch time: finalizing the college list, applications, essays and more essays, interviews, worrying about scholarships, plus all those leadership duties. All that needs to be handled by them, not a secretary or a parent. And…oh yeah, there’s school to deal with. Papers to write, tests to complete.</p>
<p>With luck, your DD will hear great news in December, and this part of the crazy-time-of-senior-year will be over. by prom time, all this will be a distant memory. It’s just so hard to keep it all inside. {{Hugs to her}}</p>