How do I make long lasting friends?

I usually don’t chime in on discussions like this, but I did want to give you some perspective as an older person.

Freshman year is just that – it is the first year of what will be four years of a brief period in your life. I get that when you’re young, every year seems like forever and so very crucial, but in the bigger scheme of things, that’s just not the case.

I went to two colleges (three, if you count a summer visiting student program) during my undergraduate years and picked up exactly one “true” friend from each college. Same with graduate school – one genuine friend from when I was working on my master’s degree, and another from my doctoral program.

Nearly two decades later, I have five lifelong friends from the “schooling” period of my life. You accumulate friends throughout life (and you will no doubt lose some as well). It’s not necessary (or necessarily fulfilling) to pick up a LOT of friends at once, or to find a “group.” I know it may seem lonely at times, but believe me when I say that lots of people with flashy Instagrams, parties to go to, and who are constantly surrounded by people can be lonely, too. My husband was the polar opposite of me – he always had tons of friends ever since he was in elementary school, he was invited to every party on campus and was the popular, athletic, handsome guy, etc. Yet, whenever he needed someone, he had literally no one to turn to. During a particularly rough patch of his life – he’d lost his job – he was literally homeless for three weeks because none of his “friends” would help. We didn’t reconnect until way past our college years, but when I found out that’s how it was for him (and for many other beautiful/handsome, charismatic people who were constantly surrounded by “friends”), I was so surprised. Even at my loneliest, nerdiest moments, I always did have that ONE friend, and for that, I feel lucky (and so should you!).

What I’m trying to say is: it’s quality that counts, not quantity. So go have a fabulous time with your one friend, gain lots of memorable adventures, be the very best friend you can be to your friend, and I promise you, you will make plenty of real, genuine friends in time.