<p>Forgot this, but we had a 7 pm wedding with a reception afterwards that was just appetizers, desserts, and drinks. We figured people ate dinner before they came.</p>
<p>My treasurer at the church has to issue an IRS-accepted acknowledgement of all gifts received. It must clearly state that there were no services rendered or items received in exchange for the donation. So renting the facility would not provide a tax deduction. </p>
<p>We often have weddings at the church right before Christmas, so that the couple can take advantage of the church’s decorations.</p>
<p>I go along with the morning ceremony followed by brunch, which reduces food costs and often the venue cost as well. Do you REALLY need centerpieces and the like? As others have said, it’s the presence of family and friends that matters in the long run. For my own wedding, we rented ivy plants and palms to decorate the church, and had a picnic reception.</p>
<p>When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we felt our choices were to have a big wedding or have a smaller one and use the leftover money for a downpayment on a house. We chose the smaller wedding.</p>
<p>We held the ceremony in a church and had a catered buffet reception in a local meeting hall. We served wine and champagne to keep alcohol costs down. I found a beautiful, inexpensive dress at an antique shop and paid a tailor to alter it. I handwrote the invitations in calligraphy on inexpensive note cards. We opted to buy sound equipment and played CDs for much less than the cost of a live band. A friend of a friend sang at our ceremony. A local grocery did our flowers and wedding cake. Family and friends did the photography and videography. We rented a condo at the beach for a week for our honeymoon. Our wedding wasn’t huge (about 150 people), but it was beautiful. We took the money we saved and put it into the purchase of a house. </p>
<p>“The one thing I would never do to cut costs is get a cake from a supermarket. Yech.”</p>
<p>Completely agree with you, Consolation! Supermarket cakes are inedible.</p>
<p>One wedding we went to the bride just carried a single calla lily. It was very lovely. The bridesmaids carried Japanese lanterns. There was a small bridal cake and several homemade sheet cakes that were served by friends. When my oldest dd got married, she wanted a simple affair. We used big pots of geraniums (bought at the end of May, so they were on sale) to decorate the patio. She didn’t want dancing so we hired a string quartet and we had finger food (very good finger food) as the reception was at a time when no one would expect a meal.</p>
<p>Ouch! I guess my guests who have come for graduation parties have lied when they said the supermarket cake was good. I have always liked them. </p>
<p>We had a morning wedding with a lunch buffet afterward. I dislike traditional wedding receptions so had no dancing, just a harpist. We did buy alcohol, I think I still have some in my closet 26 years later. I made flower centerpieces (a few carnations in a vase with a ribbon) only had a maid of honor, H and best man wore suits. </p>
<p>We have a local grocery store with their own In store bakery that makes terrific cakes. </p>
<p>Ha - Jewel cakes (=grocery chain here in Chicago area) are awesome. We wouldn’t have a birthday without a Jewel cake. It’s a family tradition. Homemade doesn’t even remotely compare. Yum!</p>
<p>My kids actually prefer Costco sheet cake. I don’t care much for cake, but cultivating their love of inexpensive things has been a life long project around here. Daughter used to pine for Coach purses, and designer duds. That all changed when it became HER money that was being spent. I’ll bet she chooses a Costco cake for her wedding someday…</p>
<p>Consolation’s website is lovely and honestly, even though I said what I said about favors not being necessary (and I don’t think they are), you could do something lovely with them where they in essence become the table decoration / centerpiece if nicely arranged, and then everyone gets to take them home. </p>
<p>I went to wedding where they had a small traditional wedding cake and on the table there were also a buffet of beautiful, home made multi layer cakes made by the bride’s friends. The cakes were absolutely delicious and it felt like we were given free reign at a fabulous bakery.</p>
<p>Would love to see the website.
What’s nice on this thread is how many enjoyed some simple aspects. </p>
<p>We had a simple, small and inexpensive wedding. But some of the “tips” could be used by anyone. First, we were married in the summer and used windflowers for the bouquets and decor. Second…we had a fried who was a photographer who gave us pictures as a wedding gift. Third, we had another friend who made our wedding cake (carrot with cream cheese frosting…decorated with wildflowers). Forth, we had a BUNCH of appetizers, champagne punch, regular punch, and the cake. That’s it. It was a 1:00 wedding.</p>
<p>Bridal party was small (this is a good way to save money), just a best man and MOH. </p>
<p>Part of the charm of DIY solutions is choreographing things so it doesn’t all drive you crazy on the wedding day. We were really pleased that SIL baked us 3 sheetcakes (carrot cake) and brought creamcheese icing to refrigerate. As people arrived for the backyard reception, SIL spread icing so it turned into a one sheetcake. Another guest arrived carrying her satchel of home-baked cookies that she fashions into tiny pictures (houses, flowers, animals etc.). As soon as the cake was iced, she popped the cookies on top to decorate. It only took minutes. Our wedding was folksy-charming, not high elegance, so this cake fit the day just right. </p>
<p>
Y’know, I’ve been thinking about this lately. At many weddings, the bride ends up entertaining and gifting the bridesmaids, and they don’t help her enough unless she knows how to manage them. IME, some of the groomsmen are more useful, handling chores or problems (like flat tires!). As beautiful as it is to have a bridal party, think about who is working for whom.</p>
<p>
Thumper, can we trade families? Ugh, mine assumes meal food, no matter what time we set an event. Next wedding, I’m calling it for 1:00 A.M. and serving milk-and-cookies.</p>
<p>We found it was definitely the small, intimate touches that people remembered. They noticed the things that didn’t cost big $$. I still get comments on the tile coasters. They cost me 31 cents each in supplies (and more time to make than I anticipated), but folks seemed to really like them.</p>
<p>Have only McDonalds and grain alcohol. </p>
<p>Seriously, I knew someone who had a potluck for their reception. As far as I know that worked out fine. I don’t know what they did about alcohol, but I imagine they just bought a bunch and left it on some tables instead of contracting it. I don’t know if that lack of formality is worth it to you though. </p>
<p>I think the most important thing is to really think about what you want before you set out to do any pricing, venue looking, etc. Only spend on those things which matter. </p>
<p>My son was married this past summer, and before any money was spent, we talked with the bride’s family and the couple and heard what was important to them and shared ideas. They wanted an inclusive guest list (200) and an outdoor venue. MIL wanted good food and drink, as well as service during the reception that relieved her from too much stress or responsibilities during the event. The couple wanted a simple but personal ceremony that could include all of their friends and extended family, along with dancing and good music at the reception. I wanted a professional photographer. </p>
<p>We decided that our respective backyards were perfect- mine for the ceremony and the bride’s for the reception. That gave our families total control over all of the decisions. MIL found a caterer she liked who handled the set-up and servers for the reception as well as the food prep, but allowed her and the couple to stock the bar themselves as well as use a lot of the family’s own dishes, serving pieces, linens and flatware. My son found an outstanding local photographer who gave a flat rate for the day but also provided a CD of everything that we could use as we chose later. MIL and friends made the reception centerpieces with flowers from her garden. I, with my SIL’s help, made the rehearsal dinner centerpieces with Trader Joe’s flowers and reused them for the ceremony in my yard, including the bridal bouquet. The bridal couple found a DJ, helped set up and prepare our back yards, designed their own invitations and website, made cute yard signs and decorated the “alter”, wrote their own vows and created a very personal ceremony enlisting several of their friends for special roles. My son and DIL also communicated with the guests about parking, directions, lodgings, etc., during the weeks leading up to the wedding, and kept track of the RSVPs. They made a printed “Program” of their day, and decided on the flow and order of events for both the wedding and reception. They didn’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen as such, but their two siblings were their attendants and helped out with preparations. </p>
<p>The entire celebration was a labor of love from all involved. It wasn’t cheap, but money was spent on the things that mattered most, and costs were shared. Both of our families were really pleased with the outcome, as it came together beautifully. Our guests didn’t want to leave.
And I have photos. :)</p>
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<p>That depends on who the home baker is. Trust me. :D</p>
<p>There are also regional and religious differences to consider. In the South (where I’m originally from) not everyone has alcohol or dancing at wedding receptions. Cake and punch receptions are common. Or some people add appetizers, etc. But I didn’t experience a sit-down meal at a wedding until I went North. Quite frankly, a good Southern Baptist reception could save you a bundle. </p>
<p>^^ The home baker and the recipe. One of the big box stores here has cakes everyone loves. But a wedding cake is denser, richer. (And that helps hold up the tiers.)</p>