<p>What are you saying, emeraldkity? Your d weighs 144 or she is 144 lbs overweight? Either way, what does her weight have to do with the thread? </p>
<p>Ways to save - no favors (this isn’t a 6 yo’s birthday party, no goody bags needed), no liquor / wine only / signature drinks only, lunch vs dinner. </p>
<p>No, I weigh 144 lbs & it was a reference to my other threads where I discussed our estrangement.
I guess it was a bad joke.
:"> </p>
<p>We had a mid-afternoon wedding so there was no “meal” required at the reception, just cake, punch and finger foods. No one expects a meal at a 3:00 afternoon wedding. We didn’t have any music at the reception. The reception was in the church hall so no big venue fee. Used the church’s large candelabras which cut down on the cost of flower arrangements…more candles,less flowers. The roses decorating the wedding cake came from a neighbor’s rose garden. My sleeveless summer wedding dress was bought from a bridal shop clearance rack in November for our June wedding. </p>
<p>Wasn’t there a reality show a few years ago where people’s friends would plan their weddings for a very limited budget? The bride and groom would just show up, get dressed and go. I remember one where one of the friends picked out a specialty drink, made vats of it in advance and on the day of the wedding it was ready to be shaken up and poured over ice into a simply decorated glass. That was the extent of their bar and it looked yummy.</p>
<p>If someone can remember the name of the show it might be useful for trawling for ideas. </p>
<p>Bunsen, using the student caterers was a fantastic idea!</p>
<p>A relative of mine had a “DIY” wedding (partially) wherein her mother supplemented the catered food with simple goodies from her own kitchen. I think the event was liquor-free (not FREE liquor, LOL) but the groom worked for a local beverage distributor, so there was literally a truckload of soda, etc. provided as a gift. The dinner venue was the ballroom of a lovely old Beau Arts community center or former club building in a very picturesque neighborhood, so that rental was quite affordable. And the bride’s home church was the site of the actual wedding.</p>
<p>We had a quartet of grad students from the music program. Also, the rehearsal dinner was at MIL’s bff’s house. She and MIL made a family favorite casserole recipe (today’s equivalent would probably be from Barefoot Contessa) and even my mother liked it. Wine for those who wanted it. After dinner, other friends showed up. Warm memories. There is so much stress planning (and we did that mostly long distance,) that you have to step back and pare it down. I knew someone who spent over two hours in the receiving line- her wedding was for Mom and Dad, their friends and business contacts. The extravagances didn’t help that marriage. </p>
<p>We had a best man and 3 ushers, but I only had my bff as a attendant. </p>
<p>I think that offering a limited bar, as PG suggested above, is a smart way to save money. Though I know there are some folks (in our family, certainly) who feel that you’re cheaping out unless you provide top shelf liquors, wine, champagne, and beer for the duration of the event! I’m not much of a drinker, so I don’t see weddings as a handy excuse to get blitzed - but some of our family members surely do.</p>
<p>If the couple wants to offer just wine and beer, just a champagne toast, or perhaps those things and a punch or signature cocktail, they’ll save money and it would be impolite for guests to grumble or criticize. (Though, again, certain family members wouldn’t hesitate to do either.) Cash bars are, I think, a big NO - don’t think anyone has suggested that.</p>
<p>You can order nice invitations online that don’t break the bank (my d liked wedding paper divas, but there are others). With only a limited amount to spend, I wouldn’t put my resources into fancy lined envelopes with tissue paper inserts. </p>
<p>Flowers can eat up a huge chunk of the budget. When my oldest d got married, we used bridesign, which imports the centerpieces and bouquets directly to you from the nursery in very cool high-tech packaging. The quality was excellent and we probably saved 35-40 percent. But you, or someone else, will be responsible for unpacking and getting the flowers to the ceremony/reception, which did kind of define our day before the event. <a href=“http://www.bridesign.com/”>http://www.bridesign.com/</a></p>
<p>The one thing I would never do to cut costs is get a cake from a supermarket. Yech. </p>
<p>For that matter, most bakeries make lousy cakes with shortening instead of butter, too. I would always go for a simple cake that tastes good, decorated with fresh flowers and ribbon. Assuming that no one in the family can bake it themselves.</p>
<p>When we got married, it was in a very small country church next to my parents’ house. The reception was under a tent on the lawn. I cooked all of the food, with some help from my sister. (It was a very high end menu, with roast filet of beef with several sauces, tri-color fish mousse with cucumber sauce, and hors d’oeuvres such as miniature wild mushroom quiches and and pate, which would have cost an arm and a leg from a caterer. The ingredients cost me $200.) It was served as a buffet. We bought baskets for the table centerpieces, and my sister and I filled them with flowers that we bought in bulk the day before (thanks to oasis!). I bowed to pressure and agreed to buy the cake, from a really excellent local bakery. (Since then I’ve made many tiered cakes, and would love to make my son’s, should he ever marry.) We had an open bar, mostly self serve although my father acted as bartender at first. We hired a couple of college girls to act as “waitresses,” and keep an eye on plates and glasses and help clean up. They were pretty useless, but that was my mother’s fault, since she didn’t supervise them at all.</p>
<p>I did my own hair and makeup. I got my dress at the Bridal Building in NYC. We didn’t have a photographer. The big splurge for us was a live band and dance floor, which H and I paid for. We had a total of 50 guests, which included only immediate family and good friends. (I have a very small family, with no first cousins at all. It was H’s second wedding, and his family lived at a distance.) I think that the entire cost was about $3K, mostly for rentals and the band. (My mother made it clear that we were not going to have the more expensive all-white tent and the more expensive white wooden chairs. 
)</p>
<p>One thing I have to comment on is favors. They were pretty much unheard of in our social circles back then. You’d see them in Italian Vogue, since the sugared almonds are a French/Italian tradition. As some of you know, I am a chocolatier. I wish I had more wedding favor business, because A) brides report to me that people LOVE the truffles and nary a one is left behind, and B) I am the best deal going since I charge brides the wholesale price of the truffles, plus the actual cost of the packaging (no mark up), plus an hourly rate to package them (which I always underestimate). I am the only vendor that will not rip off a bride or double the prices when I hear the word “wedding.” Just one really good truffle in a cello bag tied with an organza ribbon in the wedding color(s) costs very little and looks very pretty. (Leaving aside boxes, which cost a little more.) Yet people go out and spend three or four times as much for crap like m&ms in a tin or poor quality chocolate bars with their initials on the wrapper or whatever the stuff is that people are always saying is mostly left behind. The point being, if you are going to have favors, for doG’s sake make it something that is actually GOOD, not a novelty that looks cute on pinterest but is overpriced and no one wants.</p>
<p>
That’s nice of you, Consolation. It’s so irritating that vendors tack on that wedding premium.</p>
<p>Yeah, well, that’s why I am poor. It always annoys me when someone orders wedding favors through one of my retailers, instead of coming straight to me. The retailers DOUBLE the price I charge, even though it is a pre-order with no financial risk to them. They make far more on them than I do.</p>
<p>The BEST wedding I’ve been to recently was a morning wedding followed by a breakfast/brunch buffet. It was fabulous, the bride and groom really wanted this venue, but a luncheon or dinner was too costly. This breakfast/brunch was 1/3 the cost of other meals. </p>
<p>Wedding breakfasts/brunches are great. And guests don’t tend to drink as much at midday events, even if there is an open bar, which is another cost savings.</p>
<p>I doubt you can deduct your reception at a church. </p>
<p>Perhaps the poster meant you can deduct the room fee:</p>
<p>Church Facilities
If you hold the reception in a church, part of the rental fee may be tax deductible if it exceeds the fair market value of such a rental. To take this deduction, the church or nonprofit must provide you with a statement of all fees paid for use of its facilities. Any services the organization provides must be subtracted from this amount.</p>
<p>So basically if using the room is a benefit from making a donation to the church, the part of the donation that exceeds the fair market value of the room can be deducted. If renting rooms at churches is generally a bargain, though, that probably wouldn’t be deductible. </p>
<p>Afternoon wedding with just finger foods and cake at the reception.Ceremony at your home church (at no or minimal cost). Reception in the church hall or local museum space. Hire musicians through a local music school. No other alcohol other than champagne toast (or sparkling cider). Simple flowers and table decorations. Off the rack bride and bridesmaid dresses. Better yet, give the bridesmaids a color palette and let them pick their own dresses. I’ve seen it done beautifully, and then they truly can get a dress that they will wear again. Dark suits with matching ties for the guys (all you have to buy are the ties). If you have a friend who can do the photos - great. Otherwise, shop around. We know a guy who will photograph the wedding at a flat rate and then provide you with the digital files, so you can just make the prints you want. </p>
<p>Another idea. We had adult friends getting married. They really wanted their reception at a specific restaurant, but the “wedding” prices were $100 plus per person. So…they reserved spots at the restaurant for the night of their event (about 75 people), and everyone ordered off the menu. They picked up the tab. A FRACTION of the cost of having a wedding there!</p>
<p>What a good idea thumper.</p>
<p>Yes, you can use culinary school for catering and good music students as a string quartet. Both can be a fraction of the price of other options. One of the guests made a fabulous non-alcoholic fruit punch for my sister’s wedding at great savings to sis. </p>
<p>Friday evening receptions are cheaper here!</p>